Spiritual formation

Trying Harder Never Works

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

Acts 1:1–11

Most of us Christians already know what we’re supposed to do.

Forgive people.
Pray more consistently.
Trust God more deeply.
Stop returning to the same sin.
Let go of bitterness.
Obey what Jesus is asking of us.

The problem usually isn’t information.

It’s power.

That’s why Ascension Sunday matters far more than most people realize.

Most people think the Ascension is about Jesus leaving. It’s actually about Jesus reigning.

In Acts 1, the disciples stood watching as Jesus ascended into heaven. If we had been there, we probably would have thought the same thing they were thinking:

“He’s gone.”

But that’s not what the Ascension means at all.

Right before Jesus ascended, He told His disciples:

“You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you…” (Acts 1:8)

Then He went up.

He went up…so the Spirit could come down.

The Ascension is not Jesus stepping away from His people. It is Jesus taking His throne.

The New Testament repeatedly tells us that Christ is seated at the right hand of the Father. That’s not a place of inactivity. It’s a place of authority.

The cross is finished.
The resurrection is accomplished.
And now Jesus reigns as King.

And Kings don’t make suggestions.

That changes how we understand the Christian life.

Because Christianity was never meant to be lived through sheer willpower.

Most of us have tried that already.

We make promises.
We recommit ourselves.
We vow to do better.
Then somewhere down the road we find ourselves struggling with the same attitudes, the same habits, the same failures, and the same exhaustion.

The problem is not that we lack effort.

The problem is that we are trying to live a spiritual life without spiritual power.

That’s why Jesus sent the Holy Spirit.

And let’s be clear about something: The Holy Spirit is not a force. He is not an energy. He is not a religious feeling.

He is a Person.

He speaks.
He convicts.
He guides.
He comforts.
He corrects.
He can even be grieved.

You can’t grieve a force.
You can only grieve a person.

The Holy Spirit is God within us.

We often say:
The Father is God over us.
The Son is God beside us.
The Spirit is God within us.

And that changes everything.

The Holy Spirit is not simply here to make us more religious. He is here to make us more alive.

Paul says in Romans 15 that the Spirit fills us with joy and peace and causes us to overflow with hope.

That’s not the absence of struggle.
That’s victory in the middle of struggle.

And that kind of life cannot be manufactured through discipline alone.

It comes through surrender.

Years ago, a missionary named Herbert Jackson was assigned a car that would not start without a push. Every day he found people to help push the car off. He parked on hills whenever possible. He kept the engine running whenever he could.

He lived that way for two years.

Finally, another missionary looked under the hood and discovered a loose battery cable. He tightened the connection, turned the key, and the engine roared to life.

For two years, the power had been there.

The problem was connection.

That may describe some of us spiritually.

We love Jesus.
We mean well.
We want to change.

But we keep finding ourselves exhausted because we’re trying to produce spiritual transformation through human effort alone.

And eventually we begin to wonder:
“Why do I keep struggling with the same things?”
“Why do I keep falling into the same patterns?”
“Why does the Christian life feel so heavy sometimes?”

Because the Christian life was never meant to be powered by human strength.

Jesus never said:
“Try harder.”

He said:
“Remain in Me.”

That’s a very different thing.

The problem is not that Jesus is absent.
The problem is not that the Spirit is unwilling.
The problem may simply be surrender.

Because the Holy Spirit does not force Himself upon us.

He waits.

For surrender.
For obedience.
For yieldedness.

And maybe that brings us back to the question we’ve been wrestling with together these past few weeks:

What is one thing Jesus is asking you to obey right now that you’ve been avoiding?

That may be your loose cable.

That may be the place where pride is keeping you disconnected.
Or fear.
Or bitterness.
Or addiction.
Or control.
Or simply delayed obedience.

And here’s the good news:
The power is not missing.

The Spirit of God is still present.
Jesus is still reigning.
Grace is still available.
Transformation is still possible.

You do not have to stay trapped in the same cycle forever.

Jesus went up…
so He could come down.

Not just to forgive you.
But to fill you.
To strengthen you.
To guide you.
To transform you.

Trying harder never works.

But surrender does.

And when the Spirit of God begins to take control of a surrendered life—
everything changes.

Until next time, keep looking up…

The Hard Pill of Accountability…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

It is no secret that I hate reports. When I left full-time ministry, I said to myself, “Self, you’re done with reports.”

What I hate more than reports? Lying to myself! I lied to myself when I said I was done with reports because I just finished my “Pastor’s Report” for the small church where I serve. I suppose if I didn’t want to do reports then I shouldn’t have signed on to pastoring again–even part-time.

I will admit that I was convicted by the report, which I suppose reporting is meant to accomplish. The report asked the question, “What is the Lord currently speaking to you about your personal discipleship?” I must say that I didn’t want to answer the question.

Here’s the answer I gave: “The primary place the Lord is challenging me is in my personal accountability. Since beginning to serve as pastor at Haughton, it has been difficult to stay in a meaningful relationship with my accountability partners. Time and distance have prevented those relationships other than the occasional phone call. The Lord is convicting me to be more intentional in staying connected.”

A Means of Grace

Accountability. That’s my growing edge. Accountability is much easier in full-time vocational ministry. As a bi-vocational pastor, I have struggled to maintain any legitimate accountability relationships. The accountability of reporting brought that reality front and center. Ironic, huh?

I could offer several excellent excuses (time, distance, blah, blah, blah) as justification for allowing my accountability relationships to fall by the wayside, but the truth is personal accountability simply became an afterthought after stepping away from full-time ministry.

I don’t know why that happened. I’m nothing if not Wesleyan in my understanding of grace, and for Wesley, accountability (he called it Christian conferencing) is at the heart of faithful discipleship. Accountability is a means of grace–a means of experiencing the sanctifying grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. I suppose I haven’t been a very faithful disciple in recent years.

Of course, accountability partners are useless unless there is honesty in the process. It’s easy to be dishonest when there’s an issue you want to cover-up. Maybe not even cover-up…one simply doesn’t want to deal with it…so, just don’t say anything.

Accountability and a Fall from Grace

The necessity of honest accountability was brought home, not simply by the accountability of filling out reports, but also by the news that another (yes, one more) popular Christian leader had fallen from his lofty perch. Author and speaker Philip Yancey announced that he was leaving public life after confessing to an eight-year affair.

The news was heart-breaking for me, not only because another prominent Christian was found to be a sinner (like me), but because Yancey’s books were meaningful in my own spiritual development. His book, “What’s So Amazing About Grace?” was published while I was in seminary and was seminal in fleshing out my own understanding of God’s grace. When I left full-time ministry, I actually wrestled with giving my copy of the book away (alas, I did). So, to say the news was disappointing is an understatement.

Of course, the news made me wonder about Yancey’s own accountability. Apparently, it didn’t matter (at least not for eight years), but then again, it only matters if we surround ourselves with true accountability partners and surrender ourselves to the process. See, accountability is real easy to talk about. It is much harder to accomplish.

Surrender to Accountability

I think one reason accountability is so hard is because we have to surrender to it. When we surrender, we are no longer in control, and we like nothing more than we like control. For many of us surrender is not in our vocabulary. Yet, surrender is exactly what we must do if we are to live faithful, Christian lives. Surrender is the essence of becoming the “living sacrifice” that the Apostle Paul mention is Romans 12: 1-2–

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

I’m not going to be mad at Yancey for being a sinner (like some people I’ve read). I’m going to remind myself about the grace of which he wrote. I’m also going to remember that Truth is still true even if the Truth is spoken by a flawed messenger. We are all flawed messengers. That’s why we all need grace.

I’m also not going to be mad at God. God didn’t have a thing to do with Yancey’s fall. It was all on Yancey (well, and whoever he had the affair with). This was a them problem, not a God problem. It won’t lessen my faith in Him. If anything, it may strengthen it. It will certainly remind me of my continual need for Him.

What I am going to do is reflect on my own sinfulness and put in place those measures necessary to guard my own heart and mind–surrender means both the mind and the body (see Romans 12 above)–against any possibility this could happen to me. Let’s call it what it is–accountability–honest, frequent, personal accountability. I need it. We all do if we’re going to live faithful lives as disciples of Jesus Christ.

So, I guess those reports that I loathe so much are useful after all. Perhaps my accountability can include confessing to those higher up the food chain than me that I hate their stupid reports. Maybe that will keep me honest to the process? No, probably not. I need to be a little more intentional than that. I need to be a little more surrendered than that.

Until next time, keep looking up…

Pondering Tozer…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

The recent fire in our home put the reading of A. W. Tozer as part of my devotional habit on hold for a few weeks. My books were in the living room that was filled with soot and ash, and it was three weeks before the books were cleaned.

Okay, it’s been over a month since the fire and my house still isn’t clean, but that’s another story I’ll save for another time. I need to get over my frustration with the cleaning company before I express my sentiments publicly. Mama always said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.” So, I’m not saying anything.

I picked up Tozer again this week, and there are several quotes that I have been ruminating over the last several days. I share them here. Perhaps the quotes will prompt you to ponder, as well. Please keep in mind that Tozer died in 1963. If it was bad in 1963, how bad must it be today?

These quotes are from The Pursuit of God:

Self-Sins

“To be specific, the self-sins are these: self-righteousness, self-pity, self-confidence, self-sufficiency, self-admiration, self-love and a host of others like them.”

Tozer identifies self-love as a sin. I get that, but at the same time, I wrestle with what Jesus said to the scribe in Mark 12: 31–“The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself‘.” Where is that line? I know it has much to do with being as forgiving of others as I am of myself. I know when I screw-up, I am very quick to extend grace to myself, and make several excellent excuses for what I’ve done. I should be so quick to do that for others. I know there’s more to it than that, but I still want to know, “How do I love myself without being guilty of the sin of self-love?”

Self Promotion

“Promoting self under the guise of promoting Christ is currently so common as to excite little notice.”

Oh, the things we do in the name of Christ that have nothing to do with Jesus! Jesus gets credit for a lot of things he would really rather have nothing to do with, and he gets the blame for many things that are absolutely not on him. I suspect it is (at least in my case) because we want to avoid responsibility and accountability for ourselves. I noticed that self-responsibility and self-accountability are not in Tozer’s list of the “self” sins.

Scribe or Pharisee

“Between the scribe who has read and the prophet who has seen there is a difference as wide as the sea. We are today overrun with orthodox scribes, but the prophets, where are they? The hard voice of the scribe sounds over evangelicalism, but the Church waits for the tender voice of the saint who has penetrated the veil and has gazed with inward eye upon the Wonder that is God. And yet, thus to penetrate, to push in sensitive living experience into the holy Presence, is a privilege open to every child of God.”

I am especially convicted by Tozer’s quote above because of one old seminary professor. That professor, after hearing one of my sermons, approached me and said, “Lynn, you have the gift of prophetic utterance. Use the gift wisely.” I fear I have not used it wisely, but rather have not used it at all. Unfortunately, I have fancied myself more the scribe (who has read) than the prophet (who has seen). Oh! To be one who has seen the Lord, high and lifted up, glorified and sitting on the Throne, instead of one who only knows what he has read of the glory of the Almighty.

Dying to Self

“Let us remember: when we talk of the rending of the veil we are speaking in a figure, and the thought of it is poetical, almost pleasant; but in actuality there is nothing pleasant about it. In human experience that veil is made of living spiritual tissue; it is composed of the sentient, quivering stuff of which our whole beings consist, and to touch it is to touch us where we feel pain. To tear it away is to injure us, to hurt us and make us bleed. To say otherwise is to make the cross no cross and death no death at all. It is never fun to die. To rip through the dear and tender stuff of which life is made can never be anything but deeply painful. Yet that is what the cross did to Jesus and it is what the cross would do to every man to set him free.”

Every disciple must die–he/she must die to self, and as Tozer says, “It is never fun to die.” The greater pain comes in knowing that I must die to self everyday, and everyday that death is no less painful. Perhaps that is why I avoid it so much. Didn’t Jesus say, “If anyone desires to be my disciple, they must take up their cross daily…?” I am reminded in these moments of the words of the great G. K. Chesterton: “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried.”

I think that’s quite enough pondering for one day (probably enough for a week). I admit I long to read Tozer because I know he’ll light a fire under me, but then I read Tozer and the conviction often outweighs the anticipation with which I began.

Tozer. Always compelling. Always interesting. Always convicting. Always challenging. Always worth it. May I commend him to you?

Until next time, keep looking up…

The Road Between Work and Worship…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

Part of my present devotional exercise is reading a sermon a day from Eugene Peterson, beloved translator of The Message paraphrase of the Bible. Though Peterson suffered some damage to his “evangelical” reputation near the end of his life, I refuse to throw the baby out with the bath water. Peterson was gifted with the ability to turn a phrase with elegance and simplicity, and with over 50 years in ministry, he turned many phrases that are both abounding in truth and utterly challenging.

If you’ve never read Peterson (outside the occasional look at The Message), I commend his work to you. If you are a pastor, you would benefit greatly from his memoir The Pastor: A Memoir, whether you’re just beginning the work of pastoral ministry, or whether you’re nearing the end of the journey. Another classic I would recommend any Christian read is A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society. This book will change the way you view Christian discipleship. Well worth the read.

So, one of the sermons I read this week offered me a particular challenge in how I view the church (little “c” intentionally used–meaning the local congregation). Here are the two paragraphs that challenged me:

“The ideal church, as far as I’m concerned (which is rooted in my understanding of Scripture), would be one where nobody came near the church for six days and everybody came on Sunday. The best kind of church would be one with no committees or organizations–nothing happening here between Sundays. Not because we have nothing to do but because we have everything to do. During the week we’re out carrying crosses, denying ourselves, following Jesus, making our witness, helping our neighbors, serving God, working responsibly and as hard as we can to be the people of God in serving and suffering the way he’s called us to do it. We work. We do.

“But, then, on the “seventh day” (the first day for Christians), we come here and leave all that behind. And we enjoy everything that God is doing. We become carefree. Free. We become children again. We let God do it all, and you sing and adore and become aware of his presence.”

Sermon “Transfigured”, Eugene Peterson

Ah! A congregation with “no committees or organizations.” A pastor’s dream! But, without the incumbent “work” of ministry that all Christ-followers are called to do in the interim, I’m sure it would soon become a nightmare. Perhaps it has…

I am reminded by Peterson’s words that there is to be no distinction between our work and our worship. We worship AND we work. Worship is meant to fuel our work. Too often, we compartmentalize our lives such that our worship is divorced from the everyday-ness of life. “This” is my religious life, and “that” is my work (everyday) life. I get so much out of the “worship” part that I want to return tomorrow or the next day to experience it again, but in doing so, I neglect the necessity of the “work” part of loving my neighbor or greeting the stranger. Worship becomes the excuse for my failure to work. Ouch!

It is easy to be Christian on Sunday. It is much more difficult to be Christian on Monday when we are met with the challenge of actually putting feet to our faith. And, if I can go to enough bible studies and serve on enough church committees, I can find solace in the fact that “I’ve done my Christian duty.” It becomes easier to forgo the loving my neighbor or caring for the orphan part of our Christian duty.

As a pastor serving full-time in vocational ministry, I thought it was my responsibility to lead Bible studies and develop programs that enhanced the life of the congregation and fostered discipleship in its members. To do otherwise would likely have gotten me fired! Besides, how would anything ever get accomplished in the life of the congregation without committees and organization? Right? Someone has to lead all that. The “work” of the church does need to get done, after all.

Now, serving as a bi-vocational pastor, I’ve come to appreciate the necessity of the work that must be done outside the walls of the church. Listen, folks! The lost aren’t coming to the church anymore. If we would encounter the lost, it will be in the ordinary, everyday encounters we have with the people where we live most of our lives–our work and our home. It is in that environment that we must live obediently and faithfully. It is in the Monday through Saturday of life where disciples are formed. It is in the Monday through Friday of life where the lost are introduced to Jesus, and are offered the opportunity to embrace him as Lord and Savior.

Worship is not an escape from the world…a welcome respite from the challenges of life. Worship is meant to propel us into the world where our work becomes our witness, and our service to others reflects our faithful obedience to Jesus Christ.

I certainly don’t mean to diminish the work I did as a full-time vocational minister, nor am I casting dispersion on the many friends and colleagues who continue to do that work faithfully. I am, however, calling into question the motivations for doing what I did as a pastor, and for doing what we do as congregations. Age and context have given me a different perspective, and that change in perspective has me questioning some of my deeply held beliefs concerning discipleship. That’s all…

I guess the long and short of it for me is that there is no distance between worship and work. The journey of discipleship follows the same road between worship and work. I suppose faithful discipleship is learning how to “keep it between the ditches” along that road.

Until next time, keep looking up…