The congregation I serve as interim pastor has a men’s breakfast once a month. I missed the men’s breakfast for the month of September. No, I wasn’t otherwise occupied. I simply forgot. I’m uncertain as to why I missed it. It’s probably because I’m just getting old and forgetful, after all, I do celebrate a milestone birthday this week and it’s one that ends with a zero and officially puts me in the old man club. Or, it could be that I’ve adopted the attitude of the rest of our culture–men just don’t matter that much. I pray it is the former and not the latter.

Our culture has told men (particularly young men) that masculinity is toxic. It’s as if there is a wholesale attack in our culture on traditional manhood in general. Our culture tells men (especially young men) that they are fundamentally flawed and that their natural impulses are misguided and wrong. One of the guiding principles behind the attack is the belief that the differences between men and women are not biological, but rather a matter of social conditioning.

When men act the rebel, roughhouse or (heaven forbid) assess women based on their looks, they are called out and straightened out. Having lived this many years now, I can honestly say that it seems for almost two generations, young men have been told they are toxic, sexist and probably racist, too. I should probably attach a bunch of links to prove the point, but you have Google, too, so you can do it if you want. I just sense that there is a crisis of manhood in western culture. And, it’s showing up in the church, too. It seems I’m not the only man missing breakfast.

Our culture needs men! Every culture needs men! Every church needs men! Men and women are different, I don’t care what sociologists tell us. Genesis 1: 27 says, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” No amount of wishing, feeling or believing makes it otherwise. To state otherwise is to state a lie, and if there is one thing our culture needs today, it is to stand on those things that are true.

I haven’t shared much about my journey out of the United Methodist Church simply because it was too personal, and I possess a deep love for the UMC. To share my reasons for leaving might cast a dim light on the institution, and I have no desire to do that. It could go its way and I would go mine. I would be grateful for the opportunities it afforded me and the blessings it brought into my life. I suppose officially becoming an old fogey has changed my mind.

I knew my time in the United Methodist Church was drawing to a close in 2019 when a UM seminary hosted a drag queen chapel (not going to link it here, either). That’s not a slap on drag shows. There have been men dressing as women for centuries. I know that. The difference, as I see it, is that now drag is hyper-sexualized and is part and parcel of the broader trend in culture to promote transgender ideology–which promotes the idea that men can be women and women can be men. Neither is true, and the Church (any Church) should not be promoting the lie.

God’s creation is magnificent, wondrous, and powerful, but it is also inviolate. We tamper with God’s natural order (and with truth) at our own peril. To pretend men and women are the same is to defy the natural order and the entirety of human experience. Men and women are different. We need each other in order to be whole. That’s the truth. Anyone who tells you different is lying.

We need to be telling men they are worthy. We need to be telling men that they have meaning, value and purpose. We need to be telling men to pursue that purpose. Get up. Get a life. Go to work (we are created to work). You won’t discover meaning or purpose spending countless hours a day in front of screens. Don’t be lemmings. Challenge the status quo. Play the rebel. Live the truth of your masculinity!

Truth is contagious, but so is lying. Once we discover the truth and proclaim it, the stronger we become. Once we proclaim a lie and believe it as the truth, we become weaker. The world (and the church) needs strong men, men who hold to the truth found in Jesus Christ who said, “I am the way, the truth and the life…”(John 14:6).

I’m not sure any of this makes sense. I just know there is a burning in my bones. Eh! It’s probably just because I’m old now and don’t care nearly as much what other people think of me.

I do know these are the things we need to be talking about when men gather for breakfast. It’s why I hate I missed breakfast last month. It’s why I’ll try not to miss again. It’s why I’ll encourage other men to join, too.

Until next time, keep looking up…