Ministry

Reflection and Realignment, Part 2: The Advantages of Bi-vocational Ministry

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I shared in last week’s blog the challenges I’ve faced after a year in this new season of bi-vocational ministry. Lest you think the past year has been nothing but challenges, I will share some positive aspects I’ve experienced as a bi-vocational pastor.

There are some personal advantages I’ve noted, but also some advantages for the congregation (or at least I see them as advantages). As I started writing my list, I thought I might divide them into personal and congregational, but I discovered they really work in tandem, so I’ll just make one list.

Many years ago, while I was serving as a District Superintendent with the United Methodist Church, I wrote a blog praising the efforts of bi-vocational pastors (read it here). Having now served a year in that same capacity, little did I know just what a sacrifice those guys and girls were making. That’s not to pat myself on the back, but to acknowledge my own failure to give proper respect and gratitude to those who paved the way before me.

Freedom

The first advantage I’ve noted personally is freedom. What do I mean? I mean when I’m dealing with a difficult passage that challenges the congregation, I feel a particular freedom to be more direct in my preaching–to say the hard thing, the challenging thing, to question their assumptions–because my livelihood is not dependent on the paycheck I receive from the congregation.

I’m not saying that I’ve pulled my punches in the past, but I am confessing that I might not have always been as challenging in every aspect of preaching (or leadership) because of who I might offend. Knowing that my livelihood was dependent on the congregation was always in the back of my mind. Call me a coward, but I know I’m not the only pastor who may or may not have done likewise.

I can tell you, personally, I’ve experienced a greater freedom in my preaching as a bi-vocational pastor. I believe that to be an advantage for the congregation as well.

Perspective

I certainly view my role with a new perspective. I get to see more of what the laity see week-in and week-out. The laity get up and go to work every day and we (and by “we” I mean clergy) expect them to have a devotional life and volunteer at the church. I never knew how challenging that was, and I see that challenge as a positive outcome of bi-vocational ministry. As a pastor, laity and clergy are now on the same playing field.

You mean you want me to work 40 – 50 (or sometimes 60) hours a week, raise a family, keep a home, volunteer in the community AND lead a bible study, teach a Sunday school and serve on the church board in addition to attending worship every Sunday and reading the Bible for 30 minutes a day? Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I do. But, I’m doing it, too, so…

Mission Engagement

This one is a no-brainer. Going to a “real” job every day puts me smack dab in the middle of the mission field. It affords me a very unique opportunity to engage the mission field and evangelize every day. I see people in my secular job that I might likely never see if I were in full-time ministry.

Now, do I always take advantage of the opportunity? Well, that’s a conversation for another blog post, but the opportunity exists, nonetheless.

Avoids Isolation

Let me make another confession: When I was in full-time ministry, I tended to isolate myself from the secular world. It was actually fairly easy to do. Always in the office. Making hospital calls. Going to church meetings. Attending denominational functions. Traveling to Christian conferences. Hanging out with other clergy. There was no (or very little) contact with the “real” world. We clergy could easily develop our own “ivory tower” syndrome, just from a religious perspective instead of an academic one.

Secular employment gets me out of the religious bubble that clergy can sometimes live in, and that’s an advantage for both clergy and the congregation.

Financial Freedom

Okay, so I don’t know if “freedom” is the correct word for what I’m trying to communicate. I didn’t take the pastoral position because I needed the money. The Lord has blessed us in our business, so I’m not talking about that aspect of it, but I will say that a part-time salary for many bi-vocational clergy serves as a means to financial security.

I know many retired pastors who supplement their retirement income by serving a congregation. I also know some bi-vocational pastors who use their church income to increase their generosity.

For the congregation as well, a bi-vocational pastor allows them to have a pastor when they otherwise might not be able to afford it. Technically, one might argue that if a congregation can’t afford a pastor, are they legitimately a congregation, but I would argue that the early church couldn’t afford clergy either. There are many, many small congregations that are making a significant Kingdom impact. I pray Haughton Methodist is one of them. Having a bi-vocational pastor frees congregational resources to be directed toward evangelism and outreach.

Leadership

Being a bi-vocational pastor has forced me to rely on laity for getting things done in the congregation. This is an advantage for me and for the congregation. I have had to “let go” of some aspects of congregational leadership, and as a former full-time clergy, this has forced me to deal with my own control issues. Of course, I now have control issues as a small-business owner, so am I really dealing with it on a spiritual level? That notwithstanding, it has definitely been an advantage in ministry.

Likewise, the laity has, of necessity, had to embrace leadership responsibility in the life of the congregation that having a full-time pastor may not have allowed. A healthier and more biblical leadership structure is developing in the life of our congregation as a result. That can only be a positive thing.

Strategic Conversations

By my count, that’s twice as many advantages to the challenges I noted last week. I guess that means I’m doubly blessed by serving in a bi-vocational role. Seriously though, I honestly believe the advantages far outweigh the challenges of bi-vocational ministry. I also believe more clergy and more congregations should explore God’s call to see where He might be leading them. Might bi-vocational ministry become an intentional strategy to enhance ministry and build the Kingdom?

I’d love to hear your answer to that question. Hit me in the comments with your thoughts.

Until next time, keep looking up…

Preaching in the Storefront…

/ pastorlynnmalone / 2 Comments

Yup! I preach in a storefront every week. Who would have thought after over 30 years in ministry that I’d end up in a storefront church? Well, apparently the Lord thought it because here I am.

Haughton Methodist Church (the church I began pastoring late last year) meets in a rented storefront. Well, actually the building was originally a church that outgrew the facility. It was converted to an office building and was used as such for the last couple of decades.

I must say the rented storefront is much better than the rented hotel room the congregation used for the better part of nine months. I gotta give props to the faithful in the congregation who were committed enough to set up and tear down that hotel room week in and week out. That’s a lot of work and a lot of commitment.

Of course, Haughton Methodist Church was meeting in the hotel room (and now the rented storefront) due to its disaffiliation from the United Methodist Church. Well, not really disaffiliation. They missed that boat for reasons I won’t go into, but suffice it to say, they walked away from their property…just threw the Louisiana Annual Conference the keys…and began the journey as nomads. I applaud the congregation’s faith and faithfulness. It’s one reason I’m blessed to serve them as pastor.

Preaching in a storefront has really had me thinking and praying about a strategy for the congregation moving forward. That part of being a pastor hasn’t left me. In my contemplation, research and prayer, I’ve discovered there are a few advantages to meeting in a rented storefront. I thought I’d share a few of those with you today.

Financial Flexibility

The first (and perhaps major) benefit of renting a storefront for church meetings is the financial flexibility it provides. Establishing a permanent church building requires significant upfront capital for purchase or construction, not to mention ongoing maintenance, utilities, and other operational costs.

I did a little investigating and discovered the congregation’s old facility is listed for sale by the Annual Conference for $445,000.00 (you can check it out here). That’s a lot of money to a small congregation like ours! If someone wanted to purchase it and gift it back to the congregation, now that’s a conversation we’d be open to!

For a small or growing church, this financial burden can be overwhelming and will divert resources from ministry programs, outreach, or other crucial areas. Renting a storefront, on the other hand, often provides a more affordable alternative. The monthly rental cost is predictable and easier to manage, allowing us to allocate our resources to other vital areas such as outreach efforts or mission work.

Additionally, renting avoids the long-term financial commitment and debt associated with owning property, offering us the flexibility to adjust as our needs evolve. Hey? We’ve got a one-year lease. That gives us time to discern God’s next steps for the congregation.

Visibility and Accessibility

Another benefit that a storefront location can offer is significantly more visibility and accessibility than a traditional church building, particularly if the church is situated in a busy commercial area like ours. There’s not a lot of foot traffic where we’re located, but we get great exposure to passing drivers, and our proximity to local businesses makes our storefront church a visible part of the community.

We’re located right next door to an oil change shop, which I find incredibly ironic, but that’s for another blog.

I’m praying this increased visibility can attract new visitors who might not have otherwise considered attending church, whether due to curiosity or the convenience of being located near their place of work, shopping, or living.

Community Engagement

A third advantage (should we choose to capitalize on it) to renting a storefront can be an intentional decision to engage with the surrounding community. Unlike churches housed in large, traditional buildings that may be tucked away in suburban areas, a storefront church is situated in the heart of the local community.

This proximity offers numerous opportunities for interaction with people who may not otherwise step foot inside a traditional church building. Church members can become familiar faces in the neighborhood, and the church itself can become known for its commitment to the well-being of the community.

I’ve already made several visits to the neighboring oil change facility to carry left over treats from our fellowship time. I hope to build an on-going relationship with those guys.

Additionally, I can see our storefront offering opportunities to host events, activities, and programs that reach a wide array of people. Whether it’s offering after-school programs, hosting community events, or providing social services like food banks or job training, a storefront church can effectively serve as a community hub.

Because of its location in a commercial area, a storefront church is more likely to attract people who are not actively seeking a church but may be drawn to the church’s services or outreach activities. This creates a sense of accessibility and relevance, positioning the church as an integral part of the community rather than as a separate entity.

Adaptability

Renting a storefront gives our congregations the ability to remain adaptable and flexible in our growth and development. As we grow, our needs will change, and our storefront offers us the flexibility to move to a larger or different location when necessary.

Unlike a permanent building, a storefront will allow us to scale up or down based on attendance, financial health, and ministry priorities. This adaptability is especially beneficial for us in what I’m calling “our formative years.” It will allow us to respond quickly to changing circumstances without being tied to a long-term commitment.

Furthermore, our storefront landlord has given us some flexibility in changing our layout as growth and needs dictate. Our storefront can be customized to suit the needs of the congregation and community. Unlike traditional church buildings, which often have fixed architectural features such as pews, stained glass windows, or large sanctuaries, storefront spaces are usually more neutral and open.

This gives us the freedom to design our space according to our unique vision and style. Whether it’s creating an inviting, contemporary worship space or setting up an area for fellowship and community gatherings, a storefront can be easily adapted to accommodate various church activities.

A Final Thought

As I’ve had time to pray and reflect on our situation at Haughton Methodist Church, I’ve discerned that being in a storefront is both practical and strategic. It’s a choice that can support our long-term growth and success (even more than getting our old property back).

Ultimately, the success of our congregation will not be defined by the building we meet in, but by the relationships we foster, the ministries we engage in, and the impact we have on our community.

So, if you’re in Bossier Parish, Caddo Parish or Webster Parish, and you’ve never considered the possibility of worshipping in a storefront, why don’t you join us at Haughton Methodist Church. We’d love to have you on this incredible journey!

Until next time, keep looking up…

To Eat and Live Indoors…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

I didn’t get paid. And, really…I’m okay with that fact. There have been a couple of instances recently when I was invited to minister in settings and I was offered no remuneration. Can you believe that? Yeah! Me either! Geesh! What are people thinking?

No Complaints

Please, if any of you are reading this and I’ve been in ministry with you recently, don’t wrack your brain wondering if you “paid” me for the ministry. It’s 100% okay. I’m not complaining. I’m not in ministry for the money…though I do like to eat and live indoors.

Why am I 100% okay with not getting paid for ministry? Because I’ve learned the freedom that comes from not being dependent on the “church” for a living. Oh! There is freedom in that independence.

It’s been five years since I stepped away from vocational ministry. We stepped away from ministry totally trusting the Lord to provide for our needs (and He has). Yes, I had a job lined up, but even that job meant we had to adjust our lifestyle if we were going to make it, and I figured I would pick up some extra dough on the side by “filling the pulpit” to cover some gaps in the budget.

For twenty-eight years the “church” provided a good living (a very good living the last few years, I might add). I’ll be honest. It was hard to walk away from that security. Great salary. Great benefits. Great retirement plan (both in this world and the next!). What’s not to like? And, hey? Didn’t Jesus say that a “worker is worthy of his wage” (Matthew 10:10)?

I’m not indicting the model of vocational ministry that developed through the centuries. It serves its purpose to the Church (the institution) and to the church (the local congregation). Nor, am I indicting those who continue to serve full-time in vocational ministry. That’s your calling. You have to walk in that calling to be obedient. Good for you!

Paul’s Ministry

I am, however, going to espouse the freedom and the virtue of bi-vocational ministry. When someone hears the word bi-vocational, it is generally taken to mean a person who serves a congregation but also maintains secular employment–generally because the congregation can’t afford a full-time pastor.

What I mean when I say bi-vocational is a person who maintains secular employment as a means to support his/her ministry. I believe that’s what the Apostle Paul meant when he wrote:

4 On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts. 5 You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed—God is our witness. 6 We were not looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else, even though as apostles of Christ we could have asserted our authority. 7 Instead, we were like young children among you. Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, 8 so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well. 9 Surely you remember, brothers and sisters, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you (1 Thessalonians 2:4-9 NIV).

The Apostle Paul was a tent-maker and he plied his trade wherever he went in order to support the ministry to which he was called. Yes, he could have asserted his right to be compensated by those to whom he ministered, but he chose otherwise. He was a traveling evangelist, but he wasn’t expecting a love offering wherever he went.

Advantages of Bi-Vocational Ministry

As I reflect on Paul’s life and my own experience over the past five years, I want to point out three advantages of bi-vocational ministry.

Don’t Compromise the Gospel

First, there is the freedom of not compromising the message of the Gospel. Paul says that he is “not trying to please people, but God, who tests our hearts.” I’m not saying that pastors in full-time ministry compromise the Gospel. Please don’t hear that. I’m saying in bi-vocational ministry, the temptation to compromise the Gospel is not present because one is not dependent on the congregation to eat and live indoors.

Let me offer an example, if I may. When I served as a District Superintendent, it was a common task to meet with congregational leadership to discuss pastoral leadership. More than once (a lot more than once) I heard church leadership say, “the pastor works for us.”

Too many congregations see the pastor as an employee. As an employee, he/she is supposed to do what the leadership says. As an employee, the pastor is dependent on the congregation for a livelihood. As an employee, the pastor can be fired. With that in mind, there is the temptation to “give the people what they want” so that I can maintain the security of my position.

I’m sorry, but no! The pastor is not an employee. Congregations need to hear that. Pastor, you are called to proclaim the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the Truth of God’s Word. That means we have to tell people what they don’t want to hear sometimes. We need the freedom to do so to be faithful to the call. Bi-vocational ministry provides the means to that end.

Role-Model

Second, bi-vocational ministry provides the opportunity for the minister to be a role-model for others on a daily basis. I love how Paul says that he did not “put on a mask to cover up…” It becomes really easy for a pastor to put on the pastor mask every day to go out into the secular world. It’s like putting on a clergy collar for the world to see (nothing wrong with a clergy collar), but It can too easily become a role we play instead a definition of who we are. Believe me, this one hits very close to home!

Being in the marketplace in secular employment every day challenges the believer (and especially the pastor) to model the faith in ever more faithful ways. You can’t hide behind the clergy collar when you’re around 8 co-workers who know your short-comings and see them five or six days a week. As Paul told the Thessalonians, “we were delighted with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.”

Evangelism in Truest Sense

Third, bi-vocational ministry puts the minister in the secular world where secular people live. If we want to reach the world with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we have to be where the people are. That is evangelism in its truest sense.

As a full-time vocational pastor, I spent more time with church people than I did with secular people. Between worship services, staff meetings, board meetings and bible studies, it left little time for engaging with un-churched and de-churched people. There was no time to share the Gospel with the lost (unless one considers folks in the church lost) because most of one’s time is already spoken for (you’re an employee, remember?).

Additionally, because a bi-vocational minister is in the secular world on a daily basis, living where secular people live, it becomes easier to interpret secular thinking and to stay abreast of shifting cultural values and mores. One gets the opportunity to understand why people think like they do and believe what they believe. It helps the minister make the Gospel relevant when the minister understands the mindset of the society and secular people.

A Final Thought

There are probably more advantages to being bi-vocational as a minister of the Gospel. These are just three I’ve thought about this morning reflecting on Paul and my own experience.

I never really saw myself as a bi-vocational minister in this regard. I’ve considered being bi-vocational in the traditional sense. Lord knows there is ample opportunity. I’ve said in recent years that I don’t have time for that. It’s not fair to the congregation because I couldn’t devote enough time to “grow” a church. After all, there’s no such thing as part-time ministry, only part-time pay.

But, I am bi-vocational in that I can work to support the work of the ministry to which I’m called. Right now, I’m called to be in the oil change business and preach in local congregations when asked. That’s what I’ll do for now. You can pay me, or not. I don’t care. If you do, I’ll be grateful and accept your blessing. If you don’t, I’ll thank God for His provision and that I had the chance to share the Gospel so as not “to be a burden to anyone.” That, and I like to eat and live indoors…

Perhaps the Lord is prompting you, Pastor, to reflect on His calling in your life. Is it time for you to become bi-vocational, too?

Until next time, keep looking up…

Don’t Be Insane…

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You know the definition of insanity, right? Insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result. The definition has been attributed to Albert Einstein. No one really knows if Einstein said it, but regardless, it is still true.

I bring up insanity only as a follow-up to my previous blog (here) dealing with the pastoral supply shortage in the church world (particularly among Methodists). Many congregations are searching for pastors and they are doing so with a mentality that is either dying or already dead.

Many congregations want a pastor like the pastors from the “good old days”–one who visits the sick, comforts the grieving, preaches good sermons, leads great bible studies, attends all the church functions, opens and closes the church on Sunday, etc. Many congregations are looking for a pastor “Who can meet our needs.” They are looking for Pastor Fetch.

If you’re a congregation that is searching for a leader, and you’re looking for a Pastor Fetch, you’re being insane. The reason for your insanity is because you’re trying to do ministry in a world that no longer exists. The world (the culture) has changed and your congregation is not changing with it. My counsel to you is “Don’t be insane!”

The 21st century and the dawn of the Information Age (call it the rise of the internet), along with the introduction of social media, has changed the landscape for EVERYTHING in our world. The church, as per usual, is one of the last institutions to adapt to that changing landscape (although the Covid pandemic did speed up the process for some). The tectonic shifts in culture have rendered the “old” models of ministry (and ministers) dead, or at the very least, on life support.

The “Old” Models

What are the “old” models of ministry I’m referencing? First, there is what I will call the “priest” model. This model has the leader who has been “trained” in all the rites of the faith tradition, and has the credentials to prove it. This person “stands apart” from the lay persons in the congregation and is the go-between for God and the people.

Another model of “old” ministry is that of “chaplain.” Yes, this model has the congregational leader as a “shepherd” of souls. You need a “pastor” with counseling skills and psychological insight who can visit the sick and care for the needy.

Another “old” model of ministry is that of “preacher-teacher.” The leader has to be trained in Greek and Hebrew in order to interpret the ancient texts. This leader is the resident scholar and theologian, and the sermon is the centerpiece of this model of ministry. An entire industry of theological education grew up to support this model of ministry, and the reality is that industry depends on the survival of this model for its continuation.

A more recent “old” model of ministry is that of “CEO-Manager.” This model has a leader who manages budgets, recruits and manages people for tasks, develops programs for ministry, gains new “customers” (converts) and casts vision for the congregation. This model is pretty much a singular reason we have so many “megachurches” these days.

None of these models has been ineffective. None of these models are necessarily un-biblical (with the exception of the CEO-Manager model). Unfortunately, each of these models have been rolled into the job description for one person, thus the leader who became “Pastor Fetch.”

A “Pre-Christian” World

The parallels between the first and twenty-first centuries is striking. I guess we might say is “there is nothing new under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 1:9). The parallels include globalism, religious pluralism along with a new focus on “spirituality” (people are “spiritual but not religious), and the collapse of institutions (including religious institution) are but a few of the most obvious ones.

The re-emergence of a pre-Christian world (culture) necessitates a new model of leadership in the church. It is called the “Apostolic” leadership model, and it harkens back to the days of the first apostles. I believe God is calling congregations and Christian leaders to re-learn and re-engage in this model of ministry to be effective in this new “old” world.

The “Apostolic” Model of Leadership

So, what does it mean to engage in this new “Apostolic” leadership model? First, this model is “missional.” The congregation (and its leaders) must be on mission–the Great Commission.

19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28: 19-20 NIV).

Evangelism and sharing the Gospel must be at the heart of every congregation. We must be prepared to tell the story of Jesus to a world that increasingly has not heard the Word, and we must do it with creativity–taking the church to the street, or the amusement park, or the ball park, or the concert venue–well, you get the point. One congregation actually leases an amusement park once a year and invites the community free of charge to come as a means of promoting the Gospel.

Next, the new “old” model is “kingdom focused.” To be kingdom focused means that we believe Jesus’ kingdom does not fit the model of this world, and that it actually extends past the walls of church building programming. This does not mean we are pursuing political power, but are looking for collegial relationships that are community based and community focused. It is not about “how do we get people to come to our church,” but more about, “how do we take church to the people.”

Thirdly, the new “old” model is “team-oriented.” Pastor Fetch cannot and will not do it all in the apostolic model. Jesus had a team of twelve (probably more) that he taught and commissioned to begin the work of ministry. The Apostle Paul had Barnabas, Silas, Timothy and Luke as helpers for the work of ministry. A team orientation to ministry assists in bringing ALL the necessary skills to the work, and it promotes accountability among leadership in a much more spiritual way.

As part of this team orientation, ministry leaders will be focused on developing disciples who exhibit and practice the “five-fold ministry gifts” found in Ephesians 4.

11 So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, 12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature,attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ (Ephesians 4: 11-13 NIV).

Ministry leadership is about developing others to fulfill the calling of the mission. Congregations seeking pastoral leadership need to be looking for persons who can lead them in learning to the do the ministry instead of leaders who do the ministry for them.

The Leader a Congregation is Looking For

In this cultural age, every congregation should be looking for a pastor who is evangelistic, meaning their primary desire should be to see others come to Jesus. The primary desire of your new pastor should not be to meet your spiritual needs, but rather should be concerned with inviting others into a saving relationship with Jesus Christ.

Another characteristic that should be high on a congregation’s list of qualifications is a person who is interested in community engagement, a person who has demonstrated the ability to engage in building relationships across congregations, businesses and other non-profits in the communities they’ve served.

A final characteristic I would be looking for if I were looking for a pastor is a team-building mentality. Is the person capable and has he/she demonstrated the capacity to surround him/herself with other leaders and allow them to share the work of ministry. Has this person delegated responsibility to others, and has this person taught and trained others how to use their giftedness for ministry?

Those are not necessarily qualities that have been high on your list for previous pastors, but if a congregation goes looking for a pastor like their previous pastors, then they’ll likely get exactly what they’ve gotten in past, and that will only lead to a continuing decline in the congregation. But, I say, “Hey, if you want what you’ve always had, then by all means, go for it. You’ll get what you’ve always gotten, and that’s just insane.”

But, then again, what do I know? I’ve been out of vocational ministry for five years. I don’t know much of anything. I’ve just been observing from the sidelines. One can learn a lot, though, when observing from the sidelines.

Until next time, keep looking up…

Learning to Walk Again…

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Well, the challenging Lenten season continues. It’s strange really because I didn’t enter the Lenten season very seriously. For the first time in over 20 years I didn’t attend an Ash Wednesday service. If I’m totally honest I’d tell you that if it weren’t for Facebook I might have forgotten it was Ash Wednesday.

Logging on to Facebook I couldn’t help but know it was Ash Wednesday. I saw so many people posting pictures of themselves with ashes on their foreheads. Nothing like social media to feed our narcissistic tendencies…even when it comes to our sin, right? No indictment intended, but I just find it ironic that we feel compelled to show the world our piety by posting selfies of ourselves being pious. But, I digress…

Anyway, I didn’t take Lent seriously, but the Holy Spirit has challenged me all season long. He has challenged me concerning my love for Jesus (click here), and thereby, my love for others. I’ll confess that I can’t grasp the love of God that loves a Venezuelan migrant murderer as much as a Georgia nursing student (see here). I’ll confess that I don’t know that I want to grasp it, and that scares the hell out of me!

What I do know is that I would fight tooth and nail if someone (anyone) hurt one of my daughters. One of us would die. I don’t know that I could forgive that. With time and the grace of God, maybe. Yet, forgiveness is what the Lord asks of us, and that’s an awfully big ask. The Holy Spirit and I have been talking about it. We’ve not settled the issue yet, but this is still Lent. Easter is coming…it can’t come soon enough.

Not only has He challenged me on my love for Him, but He’s also challenged the nature of my surrender. I know that I have, too often, chosen my own way in service to Him rather than being attentive to where He was actually calling me. I may even be living that circumstance today. Part of my prayer each day is “show me Your will so that I might walk in Your way.” I think what I really mean is “show me Your will and I’ll choose whether to walk in Your way.”

The question He challenges me with is, “Are you surrendered?” I like to believe I am, but Him even asking the question causes me to wonder. True enough, He has been oh, so very gracious to me regardless. I can’t even imagine why I’ve been so blessed. How or why does He bless when I can’t answer a simple question, or know that I am surrendered to His will? ‘Tis mystery, indeed!

The Holy Spirit has also challenged me concerning the nature of joy. That’s right…joy. How so? Well, the Apostle Paul tells the Roman church, in essence, that joy comes through tribulation (see Romans 8: 31-39). I like to think I’m joyful, but the Holy Spirit has me wondering. I know that I “enjoy” life, but enjoying something doesn’t necessarily mean I am living joyfully. I know I’m grateful…grateful for all His blessings. I know I’m humbled…humbled by His grace.

Do I not know the depths of true joy because I’ve not endured the hardships of tribulation? Dare I pray for tribulation so that I might find out? Yeah, I’m probably not going to do that, and the fact that I’m unwilling to pray such a prayer causes me no little amount of heartburn. Darn this Lenten season!

I suppose the challenge of this Lent has me questioning my commitment to Jesus Christ and His Kingdom. It comes down to a question Jesus asked his disciples in John 6:

66 From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.

67 “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve.

John 6:66-67 (NIV)

“You do not want to leave, too, do you?” I feel like in one sense that I have, in fact, gone away…I’ve turned back…I’ve fallen down. Abandoning full-time ministry feels almost like an abandonment of Jesus. It feels like I “turned back.” For me, I think it was a matter of ministry was “working for Jesus,” without “walking with Jesus.” There is a difference, you know?

I spent so many years working for Jesus that I quit walking with Him. Perhaps that is the thing that burned me out. I guess He’s just using this Lenten season to teach me to walk with Him again, since I’m not “working” for Him during this time. I am learning to walk again.

Let me say that if a person has a choice of working for Jesus or walking with Jesus, chose walking with Jesus every time. Intimacy with Jesus can easily get lost when we are working for Him. Walking with Him promotes the intimacy we need to actually do the work for Him…and I mean the work that He wants and needs us to do, not the work we want and think He wants us to do. The differences are oh, so subtle, but they are oh, so real.

And to think, I was going to let this Lenten season pass unnoticed. Perhaps all these challenges are my punishment for not giving something up for Lent.

Until next time, keep looking up…

“Do You Love Me?”

/ pastorlynnmalone / 1 Comment

Jesus, after the resurrection, encounters several of His disciples along the shore of the Sea of Galilee, and in the encounter He asks Peter, not once but three times the question, “Do you love me?” (See John 21)

So, that’s the question I’ve been wrestling with most of the week myself: Do you love me? I must confess that wrestling with that question has caused me no small amount of pain and not a little confusion.

My initial answer, like Peter’s, is “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” As with Peter, so with me, Jesus has been persistent in asking the question and with each answer I find myself a little more confused, and if I’m honest, a little more uncertain that my answer is truthful.

I’ve come to the realization that I don’t love Him the way that He loves me. That’s probably because I am unable to grasp how much He really loves me and unless I can grasp that, I can’t love Him that much. Of course, you understand that when I say he loves me that I mean “us”…all of us. He loves us deeply and passionately…so passionately and so deeply, in fact, that He was willing to die for us…to give His life for ours.

Consequently, His call to us is to love others in the same way He loves us. He calls us, like Peter, to pour ourselves out for others (“Feed my lambs,” “Take care of my sheep,” “Feed my sheep”). His love for us is shown by action, not by emotion. Our love for Him can only be seen in our actions toward others. Unfortunately, I’ve come to realize my love for Him stays on the emotional level. I love Him as long as I’m receiving some benefit from Him.

The entire conversation has caused me to question my motivations for leaving full-time ministry in 2019. That’s nearly five years ago now, and this week of reflection on this passage has brought it back up. I’ve wondered if my leaving full-time, vocational ministry is proof that I don’t really love Him. I’ve questioned whether my leaving was courage, or cowardice? I want to believe it was courage. I’ve come to think it was cowardice.

Loving Jesus is a heavy lift. It demands a willingness to “take up our cross and follow Him.” It demands forgiveness. It demands holiness. It demands sacrifice. It demands loving and caring for His sheep…his smelly, dirty, rotten, hard-headed sheep. Did I abandon His sheep? Have I failed to take up the cross? Did I count the cost and determine the price was too high? Was that my way of saying, “Lord, I don’t really love You”? Perhaps I don’t have the strength (or the courage) to do such a heavy lift. After all, I’m not Peter.

I suppose the season of Lent is for grappling with these kinds of deep questions. You might be surprised to discover that when you to get to the end of this blog you’ll not find a deeply compelling answer or a shocking revelation. I’m still grappling with the question. I don’t have an answer yet. Jesus really has backed me into a corner with His question.

All I know to do at this point is pray this prayer: Break me, Lord, until I love you. Let me hurt with the most awful pain until all I have left is to love You. Perhaps I don’t understand what I’m asking for, but perhaps You know best what I need. I know I want to love You the way Peter came to love You. I want to take up my cross and follow You. I want to be broken by You and I want to be broken for You because I want to answer Your question with a definitive, “Yes! Lord You know I love You!”

I can only thank Him that Sunday is coming! Lent can’t be over soon enough.

Until next time, keep looking up…

Living the Dream…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is ith your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. 11 As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” 12 For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13 for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

14 How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?15 And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”

16 But not all the Israelites accepted the good news. For Isaiah says, “Lord, who has believed our message?” 17 Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ. 

Romans 10: 9 – 17 (NIV)

This passage from Romans was part of my devotional reading on Thanksgiving day this past week. As I read this passage, I did so with mixed (?) feelings simply because this passage was so central in helping me discern God’s call to ministry over 32 years ago. Why were the feelings so mixed? My feelings were mixed because there are many days that I wonder if I am continuing to live out His call. To use the Apostle Paul’s imagery, I should state it this way: I’m not feeling like my feet are very beautiful these days.

Perhaps the feelings were also being fueled by a recent book I read entitled Goodbye Jesus: An Evangelical Preacher’s Journey Beyond Faith by Tim Sledge. Let me save you the pain of reading the book by offering a synopsis. Young man is called and begins preaching at age 16. Young man goes to college and seminary and graduates with multiple degrees. Young man marries. Young man serves numerous congregations until arriving as pastor of what becomes a “mega-church.” Young man starts vital ministries that impact congregations throughout the nation while leading the mega-church congregation. Pastor gets booted from mega-church congregation for no apparent reason. Pastor eventually gets divorced. Pastor gets re-married and divorced again. Pastor leaves ministry. Pastor loses faith in Jesus Christ and His Church.

While that is definitely the abridged version of the story, reading it did prompt me to reconsider what I believe about Jesus Christ and His Church, and why I believe it. As of today, I did not come down on the same side as the former Rev. Dr. Sledge.

Today, I am more committed to Christ and HIs Church than perhaps that day in October 1990 when I walked down the aisle at (what is now) Chatham Community Church and announced that I felt called to ministry.

May I say that I’ve been living the dream ever since!

Honestly, as a young man I never dreamed of being in ministry. It’s just nothing I ever considered. If you asked me as a teenager what my dream was, I would have told you to go into communications (I wanted to be Bob Barker, remember?).

Later, as a young man I would have told you I saw myself owning and running a business. Sure, I was working in law enforcement at the time, but I knew that would never be a career for me. I would be an entrepreneur, or hey, I might even go into politics (yup, tried that, too!), or why not do both? That was the dream in my early adult life. Let’s just say that God has a great sense of humor!

God’s sense of humor had me communicating on a weekly basis, engaging my entrepreneurial bent in growing congregations and managing the politics of leading a church. Yeah, funny right? God called me to ministry and gave me opportunity to do all the things I dreamed about as a kid and as a young man. It is called “living the dream,” just not in the way I thought.

There were days I thought the dream might become a nightmare. It’s on those days that I can understand how the former Rev. Dr. Sledge might reach the conclusion he did. Those sentiments came to a head for me in February 2019 as I watched events unfold at the special session of General Conference of the United Methodist Church. I’ve never seen the Church so ugly…or so ugly toward one another. Yes, I know the Church has a long history of ugly episodes, but I didn’t live through them. Experiencing the ugliness in real time takes a toll…or, at least it did on me.

I won’t say I lost my faith as a result of General Conference 2019, but I did lose a lot of faith in the institution and its leadership. If I didn’t lose my faith, I at least surely questioned it. I questioned His call to ministry. I questioned my commitment to Christ and His Church…and particularly the United Methodist Church. Could the Church be broken beyond repair? Could I make a difference anymore? Did I want to make a difference anymore? Was it worth the fight?

In 2019, my answer to the last three questions was “no.” I wouldn’t call it a crisis of faith, but I would call it a challenge to my faith, and I wasn’t sure I had the energy to withstand the challenge. The dream had become a nightmare and the nightmare led me to make the decision to leave ministry and the United Methodist Church. By far, the hardest decision I’ve ever made, but with it came a sense of relief…like a burden was lifted…like the way a person is supposed to feel when he/she comes to faith in Jesus Christ. It seemed to be working in reverse, though.

I can certainly understand how the former Rev. Dr. Sledge came to his conclusion. He sought healing and restoration through the church only to be rebuffed at every turn. Yes, there were moral lapses and ethical failures, but (for heaven’s sake!) the church is supposed to be a place of healing and restoration, isn’t it? We’re not supposed to shoot our own! He wasn’t booted from his pastoral position as a result of those moral lapses or ethical failures. They came after the fact. His living of the dream certainly turned into a nightmare. As the conclusion of the book reveals, the nightmare impacted his view of faith and the church. I sympathize with him, but I am eternally grateful I didn’t reach the same conclusion.

No, my time away from ministry brought me a new perspective. It gave me time to breathe, to think, to pray, to reflect and to reassess the call to ministry. When I made the decision in May 2019 to walk away, I thought surely I was done with ministry. Yes, I knew I would probably fill a pulpit for a vacationing pastor from time to time, but otherwise, enough was enough. It was time for a new dream, new plans and a new life.

Want to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans.

Initially, I didn’t receive many calls to fill in for clergy. I suppose I was damaged goods, or folks didn’t think I would be interested in pulpit supply (after all, I DID walk away). It’s probably a good thing. It gave me more time to miss the work of ministry, more time to reflect, more time to pray. Then, after seven months, the world changed–Covid-19!

The pandemic changed the way the church functioned. It was an absolute necessity. I watched with curiosity as pastors and lay leaders “pivoted” the way they did church. I felt a stirring in my bones that the challenges of adapting to the new reality would have been right up my alley. Perhaps the Lord knew the stress would kill me, so he delivered me from it, but that would certainly be a very narcissistic perspective (you mean it’s not all about me?). Covid actually made me miss the work of ministry. Covid caused me to reassess my call to ministry.

This blog is already too long, so I won’t go into all the ways the pandemic got my entrepreneurial juices flowing. Suffice it to say the pandemic (and watching pastors and churches adapt to it) reignited a vision within me for doing and being the church. It also wasn’t long before my phone started to ring to fill pulpits. I do find the timing interesting…just as my juices started flowing my phone started ringing. Coincidence? Probably not.

Let me make a long story short–today, I’m living the dream in a whole new way. Vanessa and I purchased a business in 2021, so I get to scratch my entrepreneurial itch every day, and now serving in my third congregation as an interim pastor, I have the opportunity to serve the Kingdom for His glory using the gifts and graces He supplies.

In this season of ministry, I’m content in helping congregations in transition. There are a lot of them that need the help (don’t even get me started on why!), so there is plenty of work to be done. I’ve also developed an even deeper appreciation for the work of bivocational clergy during this season of ministry.

The “dream” for now is knowing that the call is real because Christ is real and that I get to live it out every day. I am blessed in knowing that my disillusionment with the institution of the Church didn’t cause me to lose my faith in Jesus Christ, but that it opened doors to new ways of doing ministry…to new ways of living the dream…which I get to do every day. Praise God!

Okay, so my feet may not be that beautiful, but I have feet, and I’ll use them to share the Gospel. The Lord will transform that which was broken and make it beautiful. It’s what He does. Of that, I’m certain.

Oh, and one more thing of which I’m certain? If the world will know Christ, the world will know Christ because someone preached the Word. That’s where the Apostle Paul left it. Let me leave it right there, too!

Until next time, keep looking up…