The past week has had me contemplating death…yes, even my own! What a morbid way to begin a blog, right? Hear me out, though!
Certainly, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve thought about my own demise. My dad died at age 63, so I’m a mere three years younger than he was when he passed away. I’ve thought about that often since October.
Honestly, that’s not really the death I have been contemplating recently. It may have been the ice storm left me with too much time on my hands, or the fact that I preached on Jesus’s baptism last week, but the death I’ve been contemplating is death to self. In that regard, I know I have a little more dying to do.
I am reminded of the words of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who said in The Cost of Discipleship, “When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.” We die to pride, we die to selfishness, we die to our own will, our own desires, and we are raised to be like Christ.
As much as baptism is a symbol of the forgiveness of sins, it is also a symbol of our dying. The Apostle Paul said as much to the Roman church:
3 Or have you forgotten that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death? 4 For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives.5 Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised to life as he was. 6 We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. 7 For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. 8 And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him.
Romans 6: 3 – 8
Baptism is our acknowledgment that we have heard God’s call to come and die. Baptism is our acknowledgment that we are not sent to work “for” God, but are sent to be “used” by God for His purpose. We acknowledge that we are His vessel so that His grace can be poured out through us. For that to happen, I must die.
My pride must die. Pride has no place in God’s presence. Pride cannot be sustained in God’s presence. If I’m still struggling with pride (and I am), I still have some dying to do.
Death is a frightening thing, though. We avoid it like the plague. Yes, even dying to self, especially when we live in a culture that tells us life is about self-realization, self-actualization and self-fulfillment. No, I’m sorry! That is not what the Bible says and that is not God’s call upon our lives. God’s call is to self-surrender. God’s call is to selflessness. God’s call is to self-denial. In that regard, I still have some dying to do.
Paul says we are dead to sin. Oh, really? It sure doesn’t feel that way some days! It’s probably because I still have some dying to do. God’s call is to holiness…to sanctification (that $3 theological word we Wesleyans like to throw around). We Wesleyans believe that baptism is an acknowledgment that God’s sanctifying grace begins its work in us so that God might do His work through us. We believe that a life of holiness is real and attainable, but it will only come through death–death to self. We must die to live. An oxymoron, I know, but according to Paul, it is imperative.
Then why is it that many (most) days, I feel like I actually regressed in the pursuit of holiness? Honestly, some days I get tired of trying! Death is hard! Faithfulness is hard! Pursuing a life of holiness is exhausting! Well, duh!
The last week of reflection has shown me that it is so hard because I’m the one doing all the work. I’m the one doing all the work because I still have some dying to do. The “old self” hasn’t died enough to realize that forgiveness is a gift…salvation is a gift…the Holy Spirit is a gift. I heard the call of God and then “I” went to work instead of receiving the gift and allowing the Holy Spirit to do His work in me.
I work so dad-gum hard to become a better me that I never realized that the Lord wants to make me a different me. He’ll do all the work if I just get out of the way and let him. The only way I can get out of the way is through death–death to self.
How? How can I die to self? I can’t! I’ve figured that one out. This death is not within my ability to accomplish. I have to quit trying. I have to surrender even my desire for self-denial to the power of the Holy Spirit. I cannot overcome the temptations and pride of life in myself. It is only through a power outside myself. My only prayer…my only hope is “Let the Holy Spirit fall on me!”
I still have a little dying to do. Come Holy Spirit! I’ll not die without You!
For some reason, every time I sit down to write I think I need to write something profound and earth-shattering, but the reality is I rarely have anything profound and earth-shattering to say. Today is no different. So, I’m just jotting down a few of the collected devotional thoughts I’ve pondered throughout the past week. It is my feeble attempt to maintain the discipline of writing. Perhaps someone, somewhere will find these random thoughts helpful.
Reflecting on the call of Isaiah in Isaiah 6, I am struck by the fact that God never called Isaiah by name. God’s call was very generic in nature:
8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”
And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”
Isaiah 6:8 (NIV)
I wondered if God calls any one of us specifically, or if God calls us all generally. I wondered if what makes the difference is in who is listening. Only those who are listening for God’s call will ever answer it. Isaiah had to hear the call, but it wasn’t enough only to hear it. Isaiah had to answer God’s call. Isaiah was attentive to the Lord, so he was able to discern the Lord’s voice. Isaiah was also willing to be obedient even before he knew what the Lord was calling him to do.
Attentiveness and willingness: two prerequisites to walking in the Lord’s will. I wonder how often I’ve exhibited those characteristics. I also wonder which precedes which? Does willingness come before attentiveness, or must I first be attentive before I can be willing? Even if I am attentive, does my willingness depend on what He is calling me to do? Hmmm? I wonder?
God’s call will always be challenging. God’s call to Isaiah was not an easy one, for sure:
9 He said, “Go and tell this people:
“‘Be ever hearing, but never understanding; be ever seeing, but never perceiving.’ 10 Make the heart of this people calloused; make their ears dull and close their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed.”
Isaiah 6:9-10 (NIV)
God’s call to Isaiah? Go tell these people something they won’t understand. It’ll make them mad. Very few will listen. Very few will “get it.” But, do it anyway. How challenging is that?
I want to believe that God is calling all of us–calling us to be evangelists–to share the Good News of God in Jesus Christ. I wonder how many of us are listening and willing? We are called to be evangelists to our families, to our co-workers, in our social networks. Can I get comfortable with the reality there will likely be many more people who reject the message of hope than who hear and accept it? Then, I remember that it isn’t dependent on me. It is dependent on their own attentiveness and willingness. My task is obedience.
How do I listen? How do I cultivate attentiveness and willingness? It starts with worship. At least that is where Isaiah’s started:
In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and exalted, seated on a throne; and the train of his robe filled the temple. 2 Above him were seraphim, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. 3 And they were calling to one another:
“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.”
Isaiah 6:1-3 (NIV)
Worship sets the stage for us to hear God’s call. Worship ushers us into God’s presence and allows us to glimpse His glory. Compelled by the sheer glory of His presence draws us to a place of repentance for our own sin…an acknowledgment of our own unworthiness. Only then can the Lord use us for His purposes.
Worship isn’t the only attitude that will prepare us to hear God’s call. If we truly want to understand what God is saying, we must open His Word–the Bible. If we can’t hear God’s voice, perhaps it is because we haven’t spent time in His Word. Consistent Bible study is imperative to hearing His voice.
Prayer, too, is key to hearing God’s voice. I need to remind myself that prayer is more listening than talking. I think that in my prayer time I must continually talk to the Lord, to tell Him all my trials and troubles, but how can I hear Him if I am the one doing all the talking. Yes, lift my burdens to the Lord, but then sit quietly to listen to what He has to say. What He has to say will not always (it will rarely) be about what I was talking to Him about. I get distracted by such trivial matters. He is concerned with the whole world. I am concerned with just such a tiny little part of it.
Being able to hear the voice of God does not necessarily make us willing to be obedient to the voice of God. I wish there was a secret formula to being willing to be obedient to God’s call. I wish I knew what that formula was. Maybe some of you know. If you do, could you please share it in the comments below? Let me learn from you, please, because it is in the area of obedience that I struggle the most.
Yes, I wake up every day committed to obedience, but then I am faced with a challenging word or task, and fear or timidity or laziness soon triumph over any initial willingness I possessed. I begin every day with the willingness of Isaiah: “Here I am! Send me!” Most days end will feelings of dejection because I give in to the fear, timidity and laziness.
Hope! Hope is what I need! I have hope in Jesus and in the power of the Holy Spirit. He is my (our) only hope…in this life…and in the life to come. I need you, Jesus! I long for you, Lord! Help me to hear your voice. Guide me through worship into the place where your voice becomes clear. Fill me with power so that my willingness to be obedient shall not be overcome by either fear, timidity or laziness. Amen!
Enough randomness for now. It’s time to get ready for worship.
For those of you keeping score, Christmas is finally over. Though some say we should keep the spirit of Christmas year round, Christmas officially ended yesterday (Saturday, January 6th) with Three King’s Day or Twelfth Night (You know? As in the Twelve Days of Christmas?). For those following the Christian calendar, the season of Epiphany officially began yesterday.
The beginning of Epiphany can only mean one thing: King Cake! No, actually it means so much more than that. I won’t go into all that it means. If you want a deep dive into Epiphany, just Google it. You’ll be reading for days!
For those of us in Louisiana, it really means Laissez les bons temps rouler! Yep! Let the good times roll! Epiphany marks the beginning of the Mardi Gras season. Mardi Gras is that time of year when normally sane people find an excuse to dress up in lavish costumes, organize and attend exuberant parades, attend balls and otherwise act in ways they wouldn’t normally act (define that as “eat and drink a lot”).
I just have one question: Why? Why do Christ-followers participate in what have become purely pagan celebrations? I don’t ask the question in a condemnatory or judgmental fashion. It is a serious question that I am earnestly trying to understand. Perhaps by asking the question here, someone will share with me what disciples of Jesus gain from participating in all the “revelry” that comes with the Mardi Gras season?
I know most folks love a good party and when one is looking for an excuse to have a good time, any excuse will do. I suppose Mardi Gras provides a good excuse.
I’ve never considered myself a party animal, so I’ve never been attracted to all the celebrations centered around the season. Sure, I’ve attended Mardi Gras parades (I did pastor in Morgan City, you know?), but it was always more out of a sense of obligation (gotta’ take the kids, or when in Rome do as the Romans do, etc.) than a desire to be in a crowd and catch beads and trinkets (especially when it’s cold outside), or dress up in opulent costumes for balls. If that’s your cup of tea, more power to you.
I do, however, want to understand the mindset behind followers of Jesus participating in “krewes” that carry the names of pagan gods from centuries past. Google “Mardi Gras Krewes” and you’ll find krewes named for Janus, Bacchus, Morpheus, and Iris, among others who take their names from characters portrayed in Greek and Roman mythology.
I just can’t seem to square that circle. I suppose I need to remember Paul’s words to the church at Corinth when he addressed the issue of eating meat offered to idols: “…we all know that an idol is not really a god, and that there is only one God and no other” (1 Corinthians 8:4b). In the broader context of his letter, Paul’s argument is that you can’t offer a sacrifice to something that doesn’t really exist, so…
He would go on to say, however, if in doing so (eating meat sacrificed to idols), my actions cause another person to stumble, then shame on me. Actually, he said he would never eat meat again if it caused a brother to stumble.
I suppose I’m really struggling with the question of where does my Christian freedom end and my responsibility to my brother/sister begin? I don’t know that I can answer that question here (maybe some of you can), but I believe the answer begins to emerge when I surrender myself to the law of love found in Jesus Christ. I discover that my responsibility to my brother/sister takes precedence over my own Christian freedom.
As a follower of Jesus, yes, I CANlaissez les bon temps rouler, but SHOULD I? I suppose that’s the question I really need to answer. And I need to get comfortable with the fact that every Christ-follower will answer the question differently. Maybe I’m just one of those weak Christians Paul referred to in 1 Corinthians 8. Kudos to all you strong ones. I suppose I’m just not there yet.
So, go ahead and do your Mardi Gras thing (I’ll eat my fair share of king cake, for sure). It won’t bother me and I certainly won’t judge you for it. I won’t understand it, but I still won’t judge you. I’ll just be over here doing my own kind of sinning in my own kind of way, and like the rest of you, I’ll look forward to Lent when I can repent of my sin and seek the Lord’s forgiveness. He’ll grant it because He’s good like that, and sans the great work of the Holy Spirit, we’ll just start the cycle all over again.
As I sit in reflection of another passing year, I am overwhelmed by the blessings I count. It was a quiet Christmas evening that really began what has been almost an entire week of reflection. Gratitude and humility have been “top of mind” for me all week long. Seems an appropriate way to end the year.
Now, we await the dawning of a new year. A new year will bring a new devotional routine for me (just because I need a change), but I can’t think of a better way to begin the new year than with the Wesleyan tradition of the Wesley Covenant Prayer. I invite you (the three of you who read this regularly) to join me in renewing our covenant for the new year.
“I am no longer my own, but thine. Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt. Put me to doing, put me to suffering. Let me be employed by thee or laid aside for thee, exalted for thee or brought low for thee. Let me be full, let me be empty. Let me have all things, let me have nothing. I freely and heartily yield all things to thy pleasure and disposal. And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, thou art mine, and I am thine. So be it. And the covenant which I have made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven. Amen.”
That, my friends, is a bold prayer! The prayer was adapted by John Wesley for the renewal of the believer’s covenant with the Lord. Wesley first used this prayer in a covenant renewal service held on Monday, August 11, 1755, in London, with 1800 people present. Since then, the Wesleyan Covenant Prayer has been used in Methodist services around the world on the first Sunday of the year.
Well, this is the last Sunday of the year, but I’m praying this prayer anyway. Nothing like getting an early start, right? Perhaps starting early will prepare me for the changes the new year ushers in. What changes you ask?
First, I have announced to the leadership at Lakeview Methodist Church that January 28th will be my last Sunday to serve as their interim pastor. Earlier in December, the congregation voted to align themselves with the Congregational Methodist Church. My original commitment to the congregation was to shepherd them through the process of re-alignment, and that process is now complete. I can commend them to the care of the Congregational Methodist Church as they begin the process of calling a new pastor.
I do leave them to the care of the Congregational Methodists a bit reluctantly, but only because I hate to leave them high and dry until they find a pastor. My doing so has more to do with a big change in my business that simply doesn’t leave me time to be fair to the congregation in my devotion as an interim pastor.
December 22nd of this year was the last day on staff for the manager of the business. It was a big change for him, for the business and staff and for me. Everything is well. He left to pursue an opportunity he believed he couldn’t pass up. I wish him only the best. He has been a tremendous asset to the business and to me personally. He is perhaps the best mechanic I’ve ever seen, and I would gladly trust him to fix any problem with my vehicles. No doubt, it is a loss for SpeeDee Oil Change & Auto Service in Ruston, but we will persevere.
With my manager’s departure, that leaves me to serve as the manager of the shop for now. No, I won’t be the mechanic, too! You don’t want me turning too many wrenches on your vehicle. I have become in the automotive industry like I was in the hardware business with my grandfather. In the hardware store, I learned to identify what you needed to fix your problem, you just didn’t want me to fix it!
Don’t worry! I do have another mechanic on staff, so we’ll get those mechanical issues taken care of, for sure. But, until I can identify a new manager, the manager will be me, and that means generally opening and closing the shop six days a week. Not much time for anything else for now.
I regret it for the congregation. I had hoped to be with them until they called a new pastor, but I suppose the Lord had other plans. It seems as though the Lord always has other plans. What’s the old joke? Want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans!
So, we’ll see what plans the Lord has for 2024. I think that really is the essence of the Wesley Covenant Prayer. Lord, show me Your plans. Whatever those plans are, I’m down with them. I really can’t think of a more appropriate way to begin the new year. Will you join me in that prayer?
So, I’m not posting the blog that I really wanted to post this morning. Following the sage advice of my sweet wife, I hit the delete button on that post, so it will never see the light of day. That post, written completely as satire, was funny, honest and accurate, but according to her it was also hateful. Suffice it to say that the writing of that post was a bit cathartic in processing some anger I’ve been dealing with recently.
That being said, you’re getting this post instead. Trust me. This post is much more beneficial for anyone hoping to improve their walk with the Lord and deepen their spiritual life. So, let’s begin with some questions.
Are you looking for the perfect Christmas gift for the reader in your family? Don’t know what to get your prayer partner for that annual gift swap at Christmas? Are you looking for something to utilize in the new year as part of your next devotional practice?
Look no further! In this blog I’m going to offer a list of ten books that have had a profound impact on my life through my years in ministry. Some of them will be great to incorporate into your devotional life. Others will be great to share with a person who is hurting or struggling with life issues. Still others are simply great books that every earnest disciple of Jesus should read at some point in their journey.
In no particular order, here are ten books that I can easily recommend for personal use or as gifts to the readers in your life.
Perhaps one of the most profound books I’ve ever read. Prompted by his own encounter with Rembrandt’s painting by the same name, Nouwen offers vivid reflections on the well-known parable that speaks to grace, forgiveness and reconciliation in new and challenging ways. I have led study groups numerous times on this book, and each time I did, I learned new insights into the parable and into my own need for grace…and my need to be graceful towards others.
Though I never utilized it for study groups, it was through this book that I learned my service to others is best offered by recognizing and acknowledging my own woundedness. My wounds can become a source of strength to help others. It’s a relatively short book and it served well for devotional reading as part of my regular discipline.
If one is looking for an experiential, intentional and transformational faith, then this is the book for you. I love me some A W Tozer! Spiritually deep but incredibly readable. This makes a fantastic devotional. This is one I’ve read multiple times. I’m not sure what constitutes a “classical” book, but I guarantee you that Tozer will still be read 100 (if not 500) years from now.
More than any other, Foster’s book taught me what the spiritual disciplines are and how to begin to practice them in my daily life. I have read it multiple times and have referred to it often in sermon and bible study preparation. I’m not sure how old a book has to be to be considered a classic. This book was first published in 1978, so it may not qualify. I would say, though, that it has become one of the definitive works on the spiritual disciplines certainly in modern times. This book is a great place to start if you’re serious about practicing the spiritual disciplines.
This is one I read as a seminary student. The Imitation of Christ is the most read Christian book behind the Bible and will stand as a classic as long as the Christian faith exists. It is great as a devotional read, and I have read it multiple times in that manner. I have even used it as sermon material throughout the years.
You have to put your thinking cap on to read this one, and you really have to be able to think in reverse to understand the message Lewis is communicating, but if you can accomplish that task, you’ll understand in a whole new way temptation, sin, human nature, spiritual warfare and the nature of faith. The book is funny in a crazy sort of way, but Lewis captures the essence of the human condition and explains it well with dialogue between two demons named Screwtape and Wormwood.
A call by Bonhoeffer to the costly grace of true discipleship. Cheap grace is defined by Bonhoeffer as “the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without Church discipline, Communion without confession, and absolution without contrition.” Every believer should read this book.
A short treatise on common life and accountability in Christian discipleship. Bonhoeffer practiced this model with his students in an underground seminary during the Nazi years in Germany. This is an extremely easy read but its depth is exceptional. Bonhoeffer makes me ask the question, “Why can’t we create community like this?” Perhaps some have and I’ve just missed it. Has the Church gone wrong in this regard? I wonder?
This one is hard to read, but if God feels absent in your life, it is worth the effort. I read this book when I took a sabbatical in 2008. I was on sabbatical because I was struggling with my call to ministry (and some other personal issues). It helped me to understand that sometimes God is so close that we can’t see him.
A humble servant of God shares how we can encounter God in even the most mundane of circumstances and in our daily responsibilities. Brother Lawrence taught me how to begin seeing the majesty in the mundane of my every day. Whenever I feel sad, or grumpy, or bored, I often remember Brother Lawrence and I start searching for the Lord in what is happening around me. A true Christian classic if there ever was one.
There are many books that I have found challenging and impactful through the years, but these ten are at the top of the list. Notice I did not say that they were my ten favorites. The Return of the Prodigal Son would be on that list, too, but I’ll save that list for another day. These are on this list because either I or my behavior was changed as a result of reading them. So, I commend them to you so that your life might be changed, or the life of the reader on your Christmas list might be changed.
Part of my present devotional exercise is reading a sermon a day from Eugene Peterson, beloved translator of The Message paraphrase of the Bible. Though Peterson suffered some damage to his “evangelical” reputation near the end of his life, I refuse to throw the baby out with the bath water. Peterson was gifted with the ability to turn a phrase with elegance and simplicity, and with over 50 years in ministry, he turned many phrases that are both abounding in truth and utterly challenging.
If you’ve never read Peterson (outside the occasional look at The Message), I commend his work to you. If you are a pastor, you would benefit greatly from his memoir The Pastor: A Memoir, whether you’re just beginning the work of pastoral ministry, or whether you’re nearing the end of the journey. Another classic I would recommend any Christian read is A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society. This book will change the way you view Christian discipleship. Well worth the read.
So, one of the sermons I read this week offered me a particular challenge in how I view the church (little “c” intentionally used–meaning the local congregation). Here are the two paragraphs that challenged me:
“The ideal church, as far as I’m concerned (which is rooted in my understanding of Scripture), would be one where nobody came near the church for six days and everybody came on Sunday. The best kind of church would be one with no committees or organizations–nothing happening here between Sundays. Not because we have nothing to do but because we have everything to do. During the week we’re out carrying crosses, denying ourselves, following Jesus, making our witness, helping our neighbors, serving God, working responsibly and as hard as we can to be the people of God in serving and suffering the way he’s called us to do it. We work. We do.
“But, then, on the “seventh day” (the first day for Christians), we come here and leave all that behind. And we enjoy everything that God is doing. We become carefree. Free. We become children again. We let God do it all, and you sing and adore and become aware of his presence.”
Sermon “Transfigured”, Eugene Peterson
Ah! A congregation with “no committees or organizations.” A pastor’s dream! But, without the incumbent “work” of ministry that all Christ-followers are called to do in the interim, I’m sure it would soon become a nightmare. Perhaps it has…
I am reminded by Peterson’s words that there is to be no distinction between our work and our worship. We worship AND we work. Worship is meant to fuel our work. Too often, we compartmentalize our lives such that our worship is divorced from the everyday-ness of life. “This” is my religious life, and “that” is my work (everyday) life. I get so much out of the “worship” part that I want to return tomorrow or the next day to experience it again, but in doing so, I neglect the necessity of the “work” part of loving my neighbor or greeting the stranger. Worship becomes the excuse for my failure to work. Ouch!
It is easy to be Christian on Sunday. It is much more difficult to be Christian on Monday when we are met with the challenge of actually putting feet to our faith. And, if I can go to enough bible studies and serve on enough church committees, I can find solace in the fact that “I’ve done my Christian duty.” It becomes easier to forgo the loving my neighbor or caring for the orphan part of our Christian duty.
As a pastor serving full-time in vocational ministry, I thought it was my responsibility to lead Bible studies and develop programs that enhanced the life of the congregation and fostered discipleship in its members. To do otherwise would likely have gotten me fired! Besides, how would anything ever get accomplished in the life of the congregation without committees and organization? Right? Someone has to lead all that. The “work” of the church does need to get done, after all.
Now, serving as a bi-vocational pastor, I’ve come to appreciate the necessity of the work that must be done outside the walls of the church. Listen, folks! The lost aren’t coming to the church anymore. If we would encounter the lost, it will be in the ordinary, everyday encounters we have with the people where we live most of our lives–our work and our home. It is in that environment that we must live obediently and faithfully. It is in the Monday through Saturday of life where disciples are formed. It is in the Monday through Friday of life where the lost are introduced to Jesus, and are offered the opportunity to embrace him as Lord and Savior.
Worship is not an escape from the world…a welcome respite from the challenges of life. Worship is meant to propel us into the world where our work becomes our witness, and our service to others reflects our faithful obedience to Jesus Christ.
I certainly don’t mean to diminish the work I did as a full-time vocational minister, nor am I casting dispersion on the many friends and colleagues who continue to do that work faithfully. I am, however, calling into question the motivations for doing what I did as a pastor, and for doing what we do as congregations. Age and context have given me a different perspective, and that change in perspective has me questioning some of my deeply held beliefs concerning discipleship. That’s all…
I guess the long and short of it for me is that there is no distance between worship and work. The journey of discipleship follows the same road between worship and work. I suppose faithful discipleship is learning how to “keep it between the ditches” along that road.
So, this has been a week where I’ve been challenged by so many thoughts in my mind that I think I need this venue to try to gain some clarity from them. Processing all these thought via this means may bring me some clarity, but it also might serve to confuse you in the process, so…be prepared!
Ramblings
First, I’ve been challenged by Eugene Peterson this week. Last week, I went to the bookstore (I haven’t been in ages!) and in my browsing I came across a recently released compilation of Peterson’s sermons entitled “Lights a Lovely Mile.” I incorporate reading other peoples sermons into my devotional routine on occasion, and having a fondness for Peterson, I thought the book would be good to further that endeavor.
I have been challenged by two particular thoughts this week. The first is this:
“Jesus became an event. He was a stopping place for sacred history. The birth of Jesus was like arriving at the top of a mountain peak after a long, difficult climb: You can look back and see the whole trip in perspective, see everything in true relationship. And you don’t have to climb anymore.”
Lights a Lovely Mile, Eugene Peterson
I have read that paragraph over and over this week. Peterson’s capacity to use the English language to craft a beautiful thought is unrivaled, but honestly, as I’ve read and re-read the passage this week, I’m still trying to grasp the essence of what Peterson is communicating.
Yes, Jesus is a stopping place for sacred history and the fulfillment of the Old Testament prophecies. Only from the perspective of Jesus can one truly understand the Old Testament. But, that last phrase, “And you don’t have to climb anymore” confuses me. Why do I feel like I’m still climbing?
Perhaps I’m not climbing, but rather I’m running. I’m reminded of Paul’s counsel to the Corinthian church:
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
1 Corinthians 9:24 (NIV)
Whether I’m climbing or running, I feel like there is so much further I have to go on the journey to be like Jesus, so I haven’t squared that circle with Peterson’s thought just yet. But, I’m working on it.
The second of Peterson’s thoughts I’ve pondered endlessly this week is this:
“The bottom step in a staircase is neither better or worse than the top step: It is good in its own right and a way of getting upstairs.”
Lights a Lovely Mile, Eugene Peterson
I like this imagery by Peterson. Most days I feel like I’m still closer to the bottom step than the top, but at least I’m on the staircase, and I’m still climbing. There are days I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress. I look back and the bottom seems so close. I look up and the top looks so far away. It’s good to be reminded that the bottom step is no better or worse than the top. It’s just a step. The question I’ve wrestled with all week is: Am I still on the staircase?
At least Peterson has me thinking…
Advent Rambling
The dawn of another Advent season has me thinking, as well. I suppose Peterson’s analogy of the staircase is appropriate for me this Advent season. Advent is a time to look back to the coming of Christ, but also to look forward to His coming again. It is a season of anticipation and preparation. An event over the past week has caused me to contemplate an integral part of preparing for Advent.
There is on my 40 mile route to work a place where the local constabulary likes to hang out to monitor traffic. Many times on my way to or from work, I’ll see an officer parked at this same location. I know he/she is likely to be there, and as I approach this location I always glance down to insure that my foot hasn’t gotten heavy on the accelerator of my truck. I think that’s called accountability.
So, last week I’m driving along and I pass this location, and sure enough, there sits the police officer. I glance down and yup, I’m only going 74 miles per hour. Should be fine, right? That’s what I thought until after I passed the officer. After my passing, the officer pulls out onto the interstate. So, I slow down to 70. Who wants to see blue lights in their rearview? Not me!
So, why not think of Advent like that police car? When there is the possibility of blue lights in the rearview, the speed you drive suddenly takes on a new importance. That blinker that you frequently fail to use when making a lane change or a turn suddenly matters. Oh yeah! That yellow light on the traffic signal no longer means “Hurry up and get through the light.” It now means, “Slow down, fool, there’s a police officer behind you!” What a difference blue lights in the rearview make.
Advent can serve as a reminder of the fact that just as accountability is a part of being a licensed driver, so too, it is a part of being a disciple of Jesus Christ. What we do with our lives does matter. How we think, act, speak, these are a part of the fabric of our response to God’s grace, and we will someday face an accounting of our living.
Perhaps that’s why Jesus told his disciples to “Be ready!”
42 “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. 43 But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming,he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. 44 So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.
Matthew 24: 42-44 (NIV)
A Couple of Rants
I’ve rambled, so now let me rant. My first rant has to do with the way we Christians treat one another. This article explains it better than I can, but suffice it to say when I read how the Louisiana Annual Conference and its leadership threatened its retired clergy with retributive action should they preach or worship in any congregation that had disaffiliated from the UMC, I was livid. How dare they! Is it even legal? So much for having an “amicable” separation.
I was livid, for sure, but it wasn’t long until the Holy Spirit gently reminded me that I didn’t have a dog in that hunt anymore. I wasn’t “retired.” I left! Still, I have many friends and former colleagues who were now faced with a decision that was imposed upon them in a totally unjust manner. I could have stayed and fought the fight with them. Would have probably been the appropriate thing to do.
Honestly, I just sensed (from one who had been on the “inside”) how ugly it was going to get, and selfishly, just didn’t want to subject myself to the treatment some of my former colleagues have since experienced. I should probably repent for leaving, but I still believe it was the right decision.
One final rant–and, it’s about politics. Did you see the big debate on Thursday? You know? The one between Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida and Gov. Gavin Newsom of California. I’m not going to critique the debate, but I am going to rant about the debate on abortion. Actually, I’m going to say they were debating the entirely wrong point–at least from a Christian perspective. The debate was over when an abortion should be allowed–six weeks or fifteen weeks (or as some Democrats suggest, up until the moment of birth).
The question is not when should it be allowed. The debate should begin with this question: What is in the womb?
My answer? A person. At the moment of conception or the moment of birth what is in the womb is a person. How do we treat a person in our culture? We do not kill them. Period. Either at the beginning of life, at the end of life, or at any point in between. Any debate on the issue of abortion must begin with the answer to the question “What is in the womb?” Without agreement on the answer to that foundational question, no answer will be sufficient.
I’m ranting because both the Democrats and the Republicans have the answer wrong. Six weeks, fifteen weeks or 39 weeks, there is a life in the womb, and the only Pro-Life answer is to not support abortion under any circumstance. Yes, it’s an extreme position, but I hold it, and it’s out there now, so do with it what you will. Perhaps that’s another reason I’m no longer a Democrat or Republican.
We can talk about alternatives to abortion another time. That’s enough rambling and ranting for one day. Besides, I have to preach today. I have a lot of praying to do between now and 10:30 a.m., to get my heart and my mind right after the week I’ve had. All this rambling and ranting has distracted me.
9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is ith your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. 11 As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” 12 For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13 for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
14 How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?15 And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”
16 But not all the Israelites accepted the good news. For Isaiah says, “Lord, who has believed our message?” 17 Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.
Romans 10: 9 – 17 (NIV)
This passage from Romans was part of my devotional reading on Thanksgiving day this past week. As I read this passage, I did so with mixed (?) feelings simply because this passage was so central in helping me discern God’s call to ministry over 32 years ago. Why were the feelings so mixed? My feelings were mixed because there are many days that I wonder if I am continuing to live out His call. To use the Apostle Paul’s imagery, I should state it this way: I’m not feeling like my feet are very beautiful these days.
Perhaps the feelings were also being fueled by a recent book I read entitled Goodbye Jesus: An Evangelical Preacher’s Journey Beyond Faith by Tim Sledge. Let me save you the pain of reading the book by offering a synopsis. Young man is called and begins preaching at age 16. Young man goes to college and seminary and graduates with multiple degrees. Young man marries. Young man serves numerous congregations until arriving as pastor of what becomes a “mega-church.” Young man starts vital ministries that impact congregations throughout the nation while leading the mega-church congregation. Pastor gets booted from mega-church congregation for no apparent reason. Pastor eventually gets divorced. Pastor gets re-married and divorced again. Pastor leaves ministry. Pastor loses faith in Jesus Christ and His Church.
While that is definitely the abridged version of the story, reading it did prompt me to reconsider what I believe about Jesus Christ and His Church, and why I believe it. As of today, I did not come down on the same side as the former Rev. Dr. Sledge.
Today, I am more committed to Christ and HIs Church than perhaps that day in October 1990 when I walked down the aisle at (what is now) Chatham Community Church and announced that I felt called to ministry.
May I say that I’ve been living the dream ever since!
Honestly, as a young man I never dreamed of being in ministry. It’s just nothing I ever considered. If you asked me as a teenager what my dream was, I would have told you to go into communications (I wanted to be Bob Barker, remember?).
Later, as a young man I would have told you I saw myself owning and running a business. Sure, I was working in law enforcement at the time, but I knew that would never be a career for me. I would be an entrepreneur, or hey, I might even go into politics (yup, tried that, too!), or why not do both? That was the dream in my early adult life. Let’s just say that God has a great sense of humor!
God’s sense of humor had me communicating on a weekly basis, engaging my entrepreneurial bent in growing congregations and managing the politics of leading a church. Yeah, funny right? God called me to ministry and gave me opportunity to do all the things I dreamed about as a kid and as a young man. It is called “living the dream,” just not in the way I thought.
There were days I thought the dream might become a nightmare. It’s on those days that I can understand how the former Rev. Dr. Sledge might reach the conclusion he did. Those sentiments came to a head for me in February 2019 as I watched events unfold at the special session of General Conference of the United Methodist Church. I’ve never seen the Church so ugly…or so ugly toward one another. Yes, I know the Church has a long history of ugly episodes, but I didn’t live through them. Experiencing the ugliness in real time takes a toll…or, at least it did on me.
I won’t say I lost my faith as a result of General Conference 2019, but I did lose a lot of faith in the institution and its leadership. If I didn’t lose my faith, I at least surely questioned it. I questioned His call to ministry. I questioned my commitment to Christ and His Church…and particularly the United Methodist Church. Could the Church be broken beyond repair? Could I make a difference anymore? Did I want to make a difference anymore? Was it worth the fight?
In 2019, my answer to the last three questions was “no.” I wouldn’t call it a crisis of faith, but I would call it a challenge to my faith, and I wasn’t sure I had the energy to withstand the challenge. The dream had become a nightmare and the nightmare led me to make the decision to leave ministry and the United Methodist Church. By far, the hardest decision I’ve ever made, but with it came a sense of relief…like a burden was lifted…like the way a person is supposed to feel when he/she comes to faith in Jesus Christ. It seemed to be working in reverse, though.
I can certainly understand how the former Rev. Dr. Sledge came to his conclusion. He sought healing and restoration through the church only to be rebuffed at every turn. Yes, there were moral lapses and ethical failures, but (for heaven’s sake!) the church is supposed to be a place of healing and restoration, isn’t it? We’re not supposed to shoot our own! He wasn’t booted from his pastoral position as a result of those moral lapses or ethical failures. They came after the fact. His living of the dream certainly turned into a nightmare. As the conclusion of the book reveals, the nightmare impacted his view of faith and the church. I sympathize with him, but I am eternally grateful I didn’t reach the same conclusion.
No, my time away from ministry brought me a new perspective. It gave me time to breathe, to think, to pray, to reflect and to reassess the call to ministry. When I made the decision in May 2019 to walk away, I thought surely I was done with ministry. Yes, I knew I would probably fill a pulpit for a vacationing pastor from time to time, but otherwise, enough was enough. It was time for a new dream, new plans and a new life.
Want to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans.
Initially, I didn’t receive many calls to fill in for clergy. I suppose I was damaged goods, or folks didn’t think I would be interested in pulpit supply (after all, I DID walk away). It’s probably a good thing. It gave me more time to miss the work of ministry, more time to reflect, more time to pray. Then, after seven months, the world changed–Covid-19!
The pandemic changed the way the church functioned. It was an absolute necessity. I watched with curiosity as pastors and lay leaders “pivoted” the way they did church. I felt a stirring in my bones that the challenges of adapting to the new reality would have been right up my alley. Perhaps the Lord knew the stress would kill me, so he delivered me from it, but that would certainly be a very narcissistic perspective (you mean it’s not all about me?). Covid actually made me miss the work of ministry. Covid caused me to reassess my call to ministry.
This blog is already too long, so I won’t go into all the ways the pandemic got my entrepreneurial juices flowing. Suffice it to say the pandemic (and watching pastors and churches adapt to it) reignited a vision within me for doing and being the church. It also wasn’t long before my phone started to ring to fill pulpits. I do find the timing interesting…just as my juices started flowing my phone started ringing. Coincidence? Probably not.
Let me make a long story short–today, I’m living the dream in a whole new way. Vanessa and I purchased a business in 2021, so I get to scratch my entrepreneurial itch every day, and now serving in my third congregation as an interim pastor, I have the opportunity to serve the Kingdom for His glory using the gifts and graces He supplies.
In this season of ministry, I’m content in helping congregations in transition. There are a lot of them that need the help (don’t even get me started on why!), so there is plenty of work to be done. I’ve also developed an even deeper appreciation for the work of bivocational clergy during this season of ministry.
The “dream” for now is knowing that the call is real because Christ is real and that I get to live it out every day. I am blessed in knowing that my disillusionment with the institution of the Church didn’t cause me to lose my faith in Jesus Christ, but that it opened doors to new ways of doing ministry…to new ways of living the dream…which I get to do every day. Praise God!
Okay, so my feet may not be that beautiful, but I have feet, and I’ll use them to share the Gospel. The Lord will transform that which was broken and make it beautiful. It’s what He does. Of that, I’m certain.
Oh, and one more thing of which I’m certain? If the world will know Christ, the world will know Christ because someone preached the Word. That’s where the Apostle Paul left it. Let me leave it right there, too!
Driving across north Louisiana a few days ago, I was reminded of how many little churches dot the countryside. Let’s just say…a lot! More than the number dotting the countryside are the number that also populate our small towns and cities. There are small congregations all across the landscape. Many of them are healthy, viable congregations. Others are struggling to pay the pastor (or find one) and keep the doors open. Still others have closed the doors, financially unable to sustain themselves due to the death of a certain congregation member, or through shifting demographics or through changing patterns of worship attendance.
Most of those churches (the ones still open, anyway), whether rural, small town or city are struggling to survive. I know of one congregation whose pastor made an impassioned plea to a gathered body for help in replacing the congregation’s HVAC system. To the pastor’s credit, the plea worked. The gathered body took up a collection and when all was said and done, they collected enough to fix the system. Good for them…I suppose.
I was participating in a meeting recently when the issue of struggling congregations came up. One of the other pastors noted that his congregation (a very healthy multi-site congregation) donated funds to a small, rural congregation to help them repair their HVAC system. I found it odd that two different congregations in two different denominations couldn’t afford to repair the A/C systems, but I took it as symbolic of the nature of the church these days. A large number of congregations are struggling to survive.
I don’t think that trend will reverse in the near future. The reality is that church attendance is on the decline. The Gallup Organization does a great job tracking church attendance, and their research shows a marked decline over the years in worship attendance. I’ll not rehash their research in this blog, nor will I speculate on the reasons for the decline. It’s real! All those struggling congregations are proof of the reality.
And, many more of those congregations will close. As sad as that reality might be, it is still a reality…a reality that few a willing to acknowledge.
“Well, if people would just…”
Fill in your own blank. Priorities. Congregations unwillingness to change. Lack of leadership. Failure to meet needs. The reasons are too numerous to mention. We could unpack them all and it still wouldn’t reverse the trend.
I also need to note that there are still multitudes of healthy, thriving congregations, but for every one of those, there are ten others that should close or will close over the next five years. Seriously, if a congregation can’t afford to fix its own HVAC system when it breaks, should it remain open?
It’s wonderful that others are willing to do what’s necessary to assist struggling congregations. It’s a reflection of our Christian witness. Bravo! But, isn’t it only delaying the inevitable? And, if so, is it something we should applaud? I really don’t think anyone wants to ask the hard questions to struggling congregations. Most likely, it’s because we have a bad theology of death (yeah, that should be unpacked more).
I didn’t intend for this to be a morbid and depressing blog about the death of congregations (or the church). I really intended it to be about a message of hope for the Church. I mean, really, our hope as the Church is not to be found in buildings. Our hope is to be found in the Lamb of God, Jesus Christ. The Church will always be, and against it the gates of hell shall not prevail. Isn’t that what Jesus said?
17 And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. 18 And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. 19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”
Matthew 16: 17 – 19 (ESV)
On this All Saints Sunday, I am reminded that the destiny of the Church (the Church Militant and the Church Triumphant) lies ahead of us. The best, truly, is yet to come! That is what motivates me to gather with the body of Christ each and every week. That is what motivates me to preach the Gospel to the gathered body week in and week out. That is what motivates me to lead a congregation faithfully, the challenges of our present situation notwithstanding.
I am reminded of John’s vision is The Revelation:
9 After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, 10 and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!” 11 And all the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures, and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, 12 saying, “Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever! Amen.”
13 Then one of the elders addressed me, saying, “Who are these, clothed in white robes, and from where have they come?” 14 I said to him, “Sir, you know.” And he said to me, “These are the ones coming out of the great tribulation. They have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.
15 “Therefore they are before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his temple; and he who sits on the throne will shelter them with his presence. 16 They shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them, nor any scorching heat. 17 For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”
Revelation 7: 9 – 17 (ESV)
Looking for diversity in the Church? Oh, it’s coming. It’s our destiny! Seeking true worship in the church? It will come. It’s our destiny!
Testing…tribulation, as John calls it, will be ours, as well. That, too, is the destiny of the Church. Yes, it will be experienced as the Church Militant, but it is through the testing that we shall know the great salvation of our God. It is through the testing that we will discover the Lamb who becomes the Shepherd who will lead us to springs of living water, and shall wipe every tear from our eyes.
This is where I find hope amid the closing of congregations and the diminishing worship attendance. Why? Because the Bible says it’s our destiny.
So, let us be faithful to work for diversity. Let us persevere in the face of trials and tribulation. Let us seek to worship in spirit and in truth until that Day comes and all the Church Militant shall be joined together with the Church Triumphant at the throne of God and the feet of the Lamb!
Not the Perfect Pastor 