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Suffering Fools…(and other advice for people my age)

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

I haven’t written much lately. I’ve just been too busy. If I’d known that at age 62 I’d be working seven days a week, I might have rethought some things or done some better planning. This is the time of life that one is supposed to be winding down, not ramping up, but ramp up I have, so…

Honestly, what I’ve been reflecting on over the last several weeks is my own mortality. I suppose that’s what we old people do. I don’t really know. I’ve never been old before. It’s kinda’ funny because I don’t really feel old, well except in the morning when I get up, and at night when I go to bed, and the three times during the night (sorry, too much information!)…

I get a lot of windshield time every week (it’s an 80-mile round trip to work). That windshield time is when I do a lot of praying and a lot of thinking. As I’ve been praying and thinking lately, I’ve hit upon several things that I’ve decided I’m not going to do anymore. It simply, at age 62, doesn’t make sense to me to do these things. I thought I’d share them with you, so here goes…

The Five Things I’m Not Going to Do Anymore at My Age

1. Suffer Fools

Yes, I know the Apostle Paul says that we are to “suffer fools gladly” (2 Cor. 11:19), but I also think it was in one of his sarcastic moments that he said it.

The reality is at this age, time is too precious to waste on foolish people. You know the ones I’m talking about–the ones that always only talk about themselves, that think they are the center of the world, that think they’re always right (or that you are always wrong), that are always argumentative, that are always demanding something of others that they don’t offer themselves.

I’m not going to be confrontational. I’m simply going to step away. Peace these days is more important than winning an argument or proving someone wrong, or even calling out foolishness. Honestly, there will have to be a strong urging on the part of the Holy Spirit for me to engage past the surface level of pleasantries before moving on.

2. Care What Other People Think

Okay, so confession time. I spent a lot of time in my past caring what other people thought of me. Perhaps it’s the middle child syndrome that captured me, but I used to cultivate a certain appearance because I thought it was what people expected of me. One of my most important characteristics was trying to meet others expectations, and it all had to do with what they might think about me otherwise.

Yeah, well now that I’m in my 60’s, I’m done with that. Why? Honestly? Because they’re NOT thinking about me! They’re too busy focused on their own lives and worried about their own problems to be worried about me. I suppose it took me all these years to figure that out.

Two passages of scripture come to mind: First is Proverbs 29:25–“It is dangerous to be concerned with what other people think of you, but if you trust in the Lord, you are safe.” And, the Apostle Paul warns the Galatian Christians, “For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10).

I only care what Christ thinks of me. Will he find me faithful? Oh! And, Vanessa. I care what she thinks of me. Everyone else? Eh!

3. Compare Myself to Others

This third “not-going-to-do” thing is closely related to the second one, but I do believe it stands on its own. I used to compare myself to other preachers. I used to compare my church to other churches. I used to measure my success by the success of others.

Dang! This is more confessional than I thought it would be when I started writing this list down.

Now that I’m in my 60’s, the race is about over. Life is not a competition that I need to win. Hey? If I haven’t won by now, I’m not likely to this late in the game. Of course, it all depends on how one defines winning.

There will always be someone who is better, richer, stronger, younger, better looking (well, maybe not!) than I am. But, I have no way of knowing what is going on in their lives. Their lives could all be a facade. Besides, some wise sage once said, “Comparison destroys contentment.” That sage was correct.

As I think about winning the race, I am reminded of what the writer to the Hebrews wrote to the Church: “let us run with endurance the race God has set before us” (Hebrews 12:1b). Life is not a race that we are in to win. Life is a race we are in simply to finish, and Christ calls us to run with patient endurance all the way to the end.

How do we do that? The writer to the Hebrews tells us that, too: “We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith” (Hebrews 12:2a). At this age, I just want to be more like Jesus. He’s the only one I’m going to compare myself to because the goal of every believer’s life is to be Christ-like. How do I measure up in that regard?

4. Chase Old Goals

This one is tricky, but let me try to explain it. It used to be that I was extremely goal-oriented, chasing the great job, the big church, moving up the corporate ladder (yes, the church has one of those). For the most part, I achieved all those goals.

The Lord, for some strange reason, chose to bless us beyond measure (He still does, too), and ministry was very good to us. I only hope the ministry He entrusted to me was fruitful, and that all the chasing of those goals was not at the expense of faithfulness.

Now that I’m 62, I can say, “Been there, done that!” And, though I found meaning in the moment, looking back over my life, they just don’t seem that important. What are my new goals? Faithfulness to Jesus and a legacy for my family. Everything I do will be oriented to one of those ends.

I don’t want to come to the end of the race only to hear my Savior say, “Depart from me, you who practice iniquity, for I never knew you” (Matt. 7:23). The longing of my heart is to enter His presence and hear “‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord’” (Matt. 25:23).

Yup! That should have been my goal all along. It’s a pity it took me getting to be an old man to figure it out. Praise God I did!

5. Ignore My Health

Man! This one has really hit home over the past year. I went 61 years of my life without medication other than the occasional antibiotic or over-the-counter cold medicine. Now, I’m making regular trips to the pharmacy to keep the medicine cabinet full.

I think most of the issues I’m dealing with are hereditary, but let’s just say I’ve not always been the healthiest guy in the world. Yes, back in 2008 – 2009, I went through a period of weight-loss and health improvement, but it was done with chasing those goals I mentioned earlier in mind. I wanted to look better and feel better so I would have a better chance of hitting those goals.

Now, the goal is to be healthy so I can live longer. I know! None of us are going to live forever, but I would like to at least outlive my dad (who died at 63!). There are still some health-related things I need to deal with, but one thing I have done is take off 25 of the pounds I put back on post-2009. Now, I’ve got a closet full of clothes that are too big! Do not take that as a complaint.

My goal is to have the energy to do the things Vanessa and I should be doing now that we’re at this age. A little travel and a lot of family takes a lot of energy. Healthy lives lend themselves to quality lives. I won’t be ignoring my health nor taking it for granted anymore.

Conclusion

So, there you have the five things I’m not going to do anymore. Perhaps I should have cast them in a more positive light and said “The Five Things I’ve Started Doing at My Age,” but I’m a glass half empty kind of guy (which I should probably stop being at this age), so what ya’ gonna’ do? There may be a few tricks old dogs really can’t learn.

I do, however, believe that I don’t have to suffer fools, nor do I have to care what other people think, nor compare myself to others, nor chase all the old goals I set in life. I also believe that I can no longer ignore my health if I want to have fruitful years ahead.

How about you? Are there any things you’re not doing now that you’re older? Or if you’re one of those “younger” folks still out there chasing dreams, is there anything on this list that struck a nerve? I’d love to hear back from any of you. Leave your comments below.

Until next time (whenever that might be), keep looking up…

Just More Bad News…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

Did the title get your attention? Well, that’s exactly what I wanted it to do. You probably clicked on the link because you thought, “Oh! Let me see what the bad news is!”

Well, the bad news is that your/our social media is leading us to more and more bad news. It really doesn’t matter the platform, either. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, X (Twitter)–the algorithms are all pointing us to bad news. And, we keep clicking and keep scrolling. We get caught in a “doom loop,” and that makes the situation worse.

Positively Negative

The reality is we like bad news. Many years ago, I had a radio executive in one of the congregations I served. I dabbled in radio as a younger guy, so I thought “Maybe it’s time to get back into radio.” I had a conversation with the executive to pitch my idea for a local radio talk show. After a couple of back and forth conversations discussing the idea he eventually said, “Lynn, to be successful in talk radio, you have to be negative. I don’t think you really want to be negative.” That same attention-grabbing negativity that drives talk radio also drives our social media algorithms.

No, I didn’t want to be negative then, and I don’t want to be negative now, but heaven help me, I find myself being more and more negative in my online engagement, and that’s leading me to be more negative in my face-to-face engagements. I don’t like the person I’m becoming as a result of all the “bad news” in my life. It’s messing with my sanctification!

It would be real easy to say, “It’s not my fault!” That’s the easy out. I could blame it on “algorithmic negativity bias” (it’s a real thing–look it up). Look, social media is designed to keep us scrolling. The algorithm learns which posts get our attention–that make us stop, linger or click. Unfortunately, bad news gets our attention more than good news. If we stop and linger on a “bad news” headline, we get more bad news headlines in our feed.

We humans have a survival mode bred into us that means our brains are wired to pay more attention to threats and danger (think “fight or flight” here). So, when we see a negative headline, we naturally pause.

Traditional media understood this long before the brainiacs developed algorithms for social media. Traditional media was driven by two statements: “If it bleeds, it leads,” and “Sex sells!” Social media has simply perfected these mentalities, and we’ve (meaning “me”) fallen for it in a big way.

What really makes me stop on the bad news headline? It’s just my old sinful nature at work, and the Enemy is utilizing social media to draw me away from the holiness to which Christ calls me. Let me say it this way, “Sin has a hold of me and it won’t let go, and now social media is helping it keep its hold.”

Turning Off the Doom Loop

So, the Holy Spirit and I have a little work to do. Yeah, I know the simple answer is to get off social media, but I ask, “This day and age is getting off social media a realistic possibility?” Social media is simply a tool. It is amoral. It is what we do with it that determines its morality.

The first thing I must do to turn off the doom loop is repent. All significant spiritual change begins with repentance. I repent of my own negativity and I’m sorry for all the negative posts I’ve made on social media (and there have been a few more than I care to admit). My prayer is “Change my heart, O God!”

The Lord really does want to change my heart, and as much as I would like a supernatural transformation, He’s asking me to do a little of the work myself. What is He asking me to do?

One, He’s telling me to limit my time on social media. Set a timer if I need to in order to remind myself how long I’ve been online. I need to spend less time online and more time “touching grass,” as they say–more time in face-to-face interactions. It’s a whole lot easier to say mean things online than it is in person.

Two, I need to actively engage with positive content online in order to reprogram the algorithm. That means I have to mute or block or snooze the negativity in my social media feed. When I find positive content I need to share it with others. Simply don’t click on negative headlines. Stop falling into the trap.

Three, I need to get back into God’s Word. I need to spend more time reading and reflecting on God’s Word than scrolling negative headlines on social media.

Yeah, I’ve got a lot of work to do, but with the Holy Spirit’s help, perhaps I’ll come out on the other side a better person. Perhaps the holiness I desire will make its way out in the interactions I have online and in person. That’s my prayer, anyway…

Because I’m just tired of all the bad news…

Until next time, keep looking up…

A Both/And Sort of Life…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

My daughter gave me a most unique gift for Christmas last year. It’s called Storyworth. It’s a writing prompt. They send you a weekly question. You answer the question and after a year they compile the answers as a book. It’s designed to capture family stories and family history for your children and future generations.

I was challenged by the question posed this week: “How is your life different than you imagined?” I thought I’d share the answer with you, too.

My life is, at one and the same time, both different than what I imagined and not different than what I imagined.

It is different in that I never imagined spending years in full-time vocational ministry. That was never anything that was on my radar, but it is what was on the Lord’s radar for 28 years.

Filling in the Blank

What did I imagine? Maybe too many things to list. I was always a dreamer (day-dreamer). I would sit around and imagine what life would be like if I did __________. I would fill in the blank and that would be a day-dreaming topic.

There were actually a few things I filled in the blanks with that actually had an opportunity to become reality. First, was my desire to be Bob Barker. Not literally Bob Barker, but on television and in radio. I took steps in that direction. I went to work at KTOC- AM & FM radio is Jonesboro, LA. I thought that was the way to get started. I did that for a year and moved to KXKZ-FM in Ruston, LA. I only worked there a few months when Vanessa and I started dating. Working got in the way of dating, so I quite that job and went back to the grocery/hardware business of my grandfather’s, where the options for dating were more flexible.

I also pursued an education while in high school in the communications field. The Vo-Tech school offered classes in Radio-Television Technology. I spent my high school week-day afternoons as a student of that program.

Those classes opened the door to many opportunities in the radio/television field. It eventually led to a job opportunity in Lake Charles, LA with a local TV station there. The News Director from KNOE-TV in Monroe had recently transferred to Lake Charles. He knew me from my time hanging around KNOE as part of the Vo-Tech classes. He called and offered me a job as a cameraman/videographer (that was the real entry level job in television in those days). I was young. Vanessa and I were planning to get married, so I declined the opportunity. Honestly, I was just scared. I didn’t want to leave Chatham, LA. Ironic that I did leave Chatham some years later pursuing a path that I had never imagined.

Another time the blank was filled in was in pursuing a career in the military. I was a recently married young man and my childhood experiences of visiting Barksdale Air Force Base on yearly trips to the air show fueled my love for the military (well, the Air Force, actually). One day, Vanessa and I were in Monroe and we just stopped by the Air Force recruiting office. I walked in and told them I wanted to join. They started the process right then and there. I guess they didn’t want to let a live one get away.

I took their battery of tests. I actually aced their ASVAB test. The recruiter said he’d never had a recruit to ace that test. He seemed really excited to have me joining up. We then moved to the physical aspect of their requirements. They took me in a back room, measured me and weighed me, and determined that I was 22 pounds overweight for the Air Force.

He said I had two options: one, go over to the Army recruiter. The Army would take me in my overweight condition. Or two, go home and go on a diet and come back in a couple of months. I chose the second option primarily because I never imagined life in the Army. I didn’t want to go in the Army. I wanted to go in the Air Force and learn how to fly jets. I came home and thought about trying to lose the weight, but I really think the fear of leaving Chatham kept me from pursuing the weight loss whole-heartedly, so I never went back to the recruiter.

I’ve often wondered how life would have been different if I had joined the Air Force that day. I suppose we’ll never know.

A New Twist

After the Air Force debacle, I had resigned myself to spending a life-time in the hardware business. I had worked for my grandfather throughout high school and had continued on after marriage. It was a comfortable life. It had afforded my grandfather and grandmother a comfortable living, and I didn’t see much else on the horizon. I imagined that I would eventually take over the hardware business when my grandfather passed away, but alas, that was never to be.

It wasn’t too long before my uncle came to work at the hardware store. My grandfather, who had been in the grocery business for 40 years, built a new building to house the grocery business. When he built it, he brought my uncle and my dad into the family business and gave them an ownership interest in the grocery store. He kept the hardware business in the old grocery store and kept it as a separate company with himself as sole owner.

Well, my dad and my uncle couldn’t work together. They didn’t get along, so my dad chose to leave the business to pursue other interests. My uncle ended up the sole operator of the grocery business. It wasn’t too long until he found himself going through a divorce. Long story short, the grocery business was eventually sold and my uncle was working in the hardware business. It soon became apparent to me that I would not be the inheritor of the hardware store. I thought it best to pursue other opportunities for the good of my family.

My experience working in that business did give me the dream of owning my own business. Even as a young 19 – 20 year-old, I would read Inc. magazine, peruse the classified ads that were found in the back, and look for franchises that I might buy into and open in or around Chatham, LA. Funny thing is, I had no money and getting financing as a guy in his late-teens, early twenties wasn’t likely to happen (or I was too dumb to know how to make it happen), so they remained only dreams.

I eventually was offered an opportunity to go to work for the local sheriff as a deputy. I never imagined that in all my imagining, so I suppose there is some irony in that, as well. The position offered health insurance and retirement and we were pregnant with our first, so we decided it was the right step for us. I went to work for the sheriff in February of 1983.

Working for the local sheriff gave me an itching to go into politics. I thought I might parlay that job into an elected position within Jackson Parish, and I somewhat began working toward that end. 

A New Calling

Let me try to make a long story short. It was 1989, and a young, charismatic pastor was appointed to our church. I had (sort of) drifted away from church attendance at that point. After all, I worked most Sundays, and attendance was not a priority on the Sundays I was off, but this new young pastor started visiting me, and riding around with me when I was on patrol.

We spent a lot of time talking about life and church and meaning and purpose. I became more active, even attending revivals. The pastor held a tent revival on the back lot of the church parsonage, and there I was in attendance. It was at that revival that I first began to sense a call to ministry…probably as a result of all the conversations the pastor and I had on those long, late-night rides around the country-side.

That eventually led to my solo late-night experience in September of 1990 along May Road at Hickory Springs Church when I heard the audible voice of the Lord say, “Lynn, I’ve more than this for you.”

When I arrived home that evening (around 1 a.m.), trying to reflect on what happened, I turned on the TV thinking that would take my mind off of it. There were only three channels in those days (well, only three channels you could pick up on the TV in the country without cable). The ONLY channel that was still airing programming at 1 a.m., had on a TV evangelist (Robert Tilton). He looked straight into the camera and said, “There is someone listening to the this program right now, and the Lord has called you to ministry. You need to accept that calling.” True story

The next day, I was visiting with my pastor informing him that I thought God was calling me to ministry. Before I knew what happened, I was sitting in the District Superintendent’s office answering questions and beginning a journey towards vocational ministry. The rest, as they say, is history. There are a lot of good stories along the way, but suffice it to say, this was never anything I ever imagined. I guess God is funny that way.

After leaving vocational ministry, Vanessa and I eventually become small-business owners. I don’t know if that is life coming full circle and me ending up where I used to dream about ending up, or if the Lord was being gracious after 28 years of service in ministry.

All I know is that being a business owner was once a dream. Now it’s a reality. When I tell people that I’m living the dream, I actually mean it. Some days, though, that dream is a nightmare! Most days, it’s blessing, so I’ll try to be as grateful as possible.

So, I suppose that explains the answer to the question, “How has your life been different than you imagined?” can be answered in a both/and sort of way.

Until next time, keep looking up…

“Move over Moron!” and Other Random Thoughts…

/ pastorlynnmalone / 2 Comments

So, I did a Facebook post that probably needs a little context. I posted the following on Wednesday:

“Well, honestly if you told me when I woke up this morning that I would have two old ladies in my shop talking about selling vintage pornography on the internet, I would have called the white coats for you. I would have been wrong! 😳😲 Interesting what you can over hear when you’re working.”

Here’s the context for that post. Most of you know I run an oil change shop (click here for coupons). I tell folks I run an oil change shop to support my pastoring habit. I don’t currently have a cashier, so that means much of my time is spent acting as the cashier.

One of those times was Wednesday morning. A customer needed brakes on her vehicle. She is a regular customer (thank the Lord for those!) who runs a resale shop in Ruston. Not long after, another lady came in for an oil change and sat in the lobby while the service was performed.

It was obvious the two ladies knew each other. They exchanged pleasantries and began talking about their businesses. The second customer, I discovered in overhearing their conversation, frequents estate sales and yard sales and sells her discoveries on her eBay store.

As the conversation progressed, the first customer shared about her recent purchase of an estate from a man who had passed away who had old Playboy and Penthouse (no, I’m not linking that information on my blog!) magazines going back to the first copies. The other customer chimed in that she had, in fact, sold numerous vintage pornographic magazines on her eBay store, and that they were quite profitable.

The conversation continued for several minutes until I finally interjected, “I’m sorry, ladies, but not in a million years would I have thought that I would overhear two ladies discussing vintage pornography in my shop today.” They just laughed.

The disconcerting part is after laughing, they just continued their conversation. Apparently, one of them had received $150 for a particular copy of an old Playboy. For them, it was strictly business.

No, I didn’t reveal to the ladies that I am a pastor. Why should that even matter? Our language and conversation should always be such as to be pleasing and appropriate. I’m reminded of the Apostle Paul’s counsel to the Colossians and the Ephesians:

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer each person.” (Colossians 4:6); and

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).

Hey? If I wouldn’t talk about it in front of a pastor, I shouldn’t be talking about it all! That should be the standard for anyone seeking to be a faithful disciple of Jesus Christ.

I’m not begrudging the ladies for their conversation, nor is this a judgement upon them. They were conducting business. It was a purely transactional conversation. The broader conversation I should have introduced was one of faithful discipleship.

I should have asked if they were followers of Jesus. Failure number one! I should have asked if they thought selling pornography on the internet (vintage or otherwise) was an appropriate way for disciples to make a living? Failure number two! Failure number three is the one that really got to me, though.

What was failure number three? You had to ask, didn’t you?

I’m going to say it’s the construction’s fault (couldn’t be mine, right?). There is construction on I-20 between my shop and my home and I have to traverse it daily.

The construction company, as always, gives motorists plenty of opportunity to merge to one lane, but as is usually the case, there are morons who choose to pass a mile-long line of traffic and rush up to the merge point–thus causing the mile-long line of traffic to come to a complete stop just so they can merge into the line.

I hate it! Seriously, are you so important that a mile-long line of already slowly moving traffic has to stop so you can be a mile further down the road? How self-centered! How narcissistic! How moronic!

On Wednesday afternoon, after a long and tiring day, I’m stuck in the traffic. I look in my sideview mirror and here comes another moron buzzing past the line. I literally roll my window down and yell, “Move over, moron!” out the window.

No, the driver didn’t hear me (he was moving much too fast), but that’s not the point. The point is my speech and thought pattern were completely inappropriate to the occasion. I was convicted of James’ words in his letter to the church:

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless” (James 1:26).

So, here on the very same day that I’m questioning the conversation of two ladies, I find myself convicted of the same issue. Major fail!

Some pastor I turned out to be–of course, I’ve told you before there is a reason I named my blog nottheperfectpastor.com.

Yes, I’ve repented–for failing to have a deeper conversation with the ladies, for not watching my tongue (even if no one hears me) and for calling (or even thinking) anyone a moron.

I’m eternally grateful for the forgiveness of our sin through the precious shed blood of Jesus Christ. I’m grateful that He extends each of us grace in our failure, and provides us another chance (and another and another and another) to grow in our discipleship. He knows I’ve got a lot more growing to do. He knows because I’m not the perfect pastor. I’m not the perfect pastor because I’m not a perfect person.

Praise the Lord for grace!

Until next time, keep looking up…