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“Do You Love Me?”

/ pastorlynnmalone / 1 Comment

Jesus, after the resurrection, encounters several of His disciples along the shore of the Sea of Galilee, and in the encounter He asks Peter, not once but three times the question, “Do you love me?” (See John 21)

So, that’s the question I’ve been wrestling with most of the week myself: Do you love me? I must confess that wrestling with that question has caused me no small amount of pain and not a little confusion.

My initial answer, like Peter’s, is “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” As with Peter, so with me, Jesus has been persistent in asking the question and with each answer I find myself a little more confused, and if I’m honest, a little more uncertain that my answer is truthful.

I’ve come to the realization that I don’t love Him the way that He loves me. That’s probably because I am unable to grasp how much He really loves me and unless I can grasp that, I can’t love Him that much. Of course, you understand that when I say he loves me that I mean “us”…all of us. He loves us deeply and passionately…so passionately and so deeply, in fact, that He was willing to die for us…to give His life for ours.

Consequently, His call to us is to love others in the same way He loves us. He calls us, like Peter, to pour ourselves out for others (“Feed my lambs,” “Take care of my sheep,” “Feed my sheep”). His love for us is shown by action, not by emotion. Our love for Him can only be seen in our actions toward others. Unfortunately, I’ve come to realize my love for Him stays on the emotional level. I love Him as long as I’m receiving some benefit from Him.

The entire conversation has caused me to question my motivations for leaving full-time ministry in 2019. That’s nearly five years ago now, and this week of reflection on this passage has brought it back up. I’ve wondered if my leaving full-time, vocational ministry is proof that I don’t really love Him. I’ve questioned whether my leaving was courage, or cowardice? I want to believe it was courage. I’ve come to think it was cowardice.

Loving Jesus is a heavy lift. It demands a willingness to “take up our cross and follow Him.” It demands forgiveness. It demands holiness. It demands sacrifice. It demands loving and caring for His sheep…his smelly, dirty, rotten, hard-headed sheep. Did I abandon His sheep? Have I failed to take up the cross? Did I count the cost and determine the price was too high? Was that my way of saying, “Lord, I don’t really love You”? Perhaps I don’t have the strength (or the courage) to do such a heavy lift. After all, I’m not Peter.

I suppose the season of Lent is for grappling with these kinds of deep questions. You might be surprised to discover that when you to get to the end of this blog you’ll not find a deeply compelling answer or a shocking revelation. I’m still grappling with the question. I don’t have an answer yet. Jesus really has backed me into a corner with His question.

All I know to do at this point is pray this prayer: Break me, Lord, until I love you. Let me hurt with the most awful pain until all I have left is to love You. Perhaps I don’t understand what I’m asking for, but perhaps You know best what I need. I know I want to love You the way Peter came to love You. I want to take up my cross and follow You. I want to be broken by You and I want to be broken for You because I want to answer Your question with a definitive, “Yes! Lord You know I love You!”

I can only thank Him that Sunday is coming! Lent can’t be over soon enough.

Until next time, keep looking up…

A Lot of “One Another-ing”…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

Studying for a recent message, I was led to reflect on the number of times the New Testament talks about our relationship with “one another.” I was prompted by the Apostle Paul’s admonition to the church at Ephesus…

4 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love…

Ephesians 4: 1-2 (NASB)

So, here is what I found in my reflection:

Love one another.

Serve one another.

Accept one another.

Strengthen one another.

Help one another.

Encourage one another.

Care for one another.

Forgive one another.

Submit to one another.

Commit to one another.

Trust with one another.  

Be devoted to one another.

Be patient with one another.

Be interested in one another.

Be accountable to one another.

Confess to one another.

Live in harmony with one another.

Do not pass judgment on one another.

Do not slander one another.

Instruct one another.

Greet one another.

Admonish one another.

Spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

Meet with one another.

Agree with one another.

Be concerned for one another.

Be humbled to one another in love.

Be compassionate to one another.  

Do not anger one another.

Do not lie to one another.

Do not grumble to one another.

Give preference to one another.

Be at peace with one another.

Be of the same mind with one another.

Comfort one another.

Be kind to one another.

Live in peace with one another.

Carry one another’s burdens.

By my count, that’s 38 “one anothers” in the New Testament. There are probably more and if I took more time, I’d probably find them, but time is a precious commodity and the deadlines are pressing, so I invite you to add to my list if I missed any. I promise that you won’t offend me if you correct me. Please correct me. It’s called accountability, which is one of the “one anothers.”

My point is simply this: that’s a lot of “one another-ing!” One another-ing only happens in the context of the Body of Christ. It is what we’re called to as the church.

My reflection also raises the question: How are we doing with our one another-ing?

We’re (I’m) not doing it perfectly, but that’s okay. I’m not perfect. And, the church isn’t perfect. That’s why we (I) need grace. The church isn’t perfect because it is made up of imperfect people. How does the saying go? If you ever find a perfect church, don’t go! You’re sure to mess it up.

I do think, though, that all this one another-ing is not simply about going to church. It is about belonging to the church. The Church! You know? The Communion of Saints! Yes, that holy, catholic body that exists across time and space, and in all places where the name of Jesus Christ is exalted. Yes, that Church that is, at one and the same time, both global and local. This Church is meant to make a difference in the world, but it will only do so as we grow in our capacity to “one another” properly. We grow by the grace of God in Jesus Christ by the power of the Holy Spirt.

So, how’s your “one anothering” coming along?

Until next time, keep looking up…