Rest

Too Stressed from Rest…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

Confession time once again…I’m ready for this “Stay-at-Home” order to be lifted. I think I’m suffering from what “experts” (ugh! THAT word!) are calling “quarantine fatigue.” Basically, that just means one is tired of staying home. I’m tired of staying home and I work in an “essential” business and go to the office almost every day. But, I just want to go to the Mexican restaurant and have chips and salsa. I want to go to the movie. I want to go see my grandchildren play spring sports. I want to go to Dillard’s and buy my wife a Mother’s Day gift.

That’s a lot of “I” statements, and I’m sure there are some of you teeing up to pounce on me for my selfishness, but according to research done using cell phone data, I’m not the only one who has quarantine fatigue. More and more people are venturing out to beaches, parks and other places to break the monotony of quarantine. It’s interesting that the pandemic created one crisis. Now the quarantine is creating another. Apparently, people who are quarantined get bored, lonely and restless. Makes me wonder: Are we stressed from all this rest?

I’m not a simpleton. I know there are countless reasons we are stressed during this time. Many elderly are stressed because of the overwhelming impact the Coronavirus has on their demographic. Many small business owners are stressed by the potential loss of their livelihood. Many others are stressed from their lay-off from work, and many others are stressed by the financial impact the pandemic is having on their lives. But, stressed from rest, now that’s interesting.

Psalm 23

Quarantine fatigue puts me to pondering the 23rd Psalm. Psalm 23 must be the most-loved, most read and most quoted of all the Psalms. This psalm is called the Shepherd”s Psalm because it portrays God as a good Shepherd, who cares for and looks after his flock. The Psalm is attributed to King David. If anyone was qualified to describe God in this manner, it was David who had been a shepherd before he became a king. How often David must have gazed up at the heavens on a star-filled night whilst watching over his father’s sheep and pondered the very nature of God! Surely he must have pondered how much God was just like a shepherd. His years of shepherding had taught him a few things, and as he contemplated the shepherd’s work, he found a fitting description of what God does for his people.

There are a number of things David notes in this Psalm. The opening sentence really says all that needs to be said: “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” The NIV says, “I shall not be in want,” and the NLT says, “I have everything I need.” Everything that comes after the first sentence is unpacking what the Psalmist means by having everything he needs. Because we’re in the midst of a quarantine, and folks are even stressing from resting, my mind is captured by one idea David centers on—rest.

Man in a Hurry

We don’t often rest well in the 24/7/365 culture we were living in pre-pandemic. Rest is almost a forgotten art, but rest is integral to our human existence. We can’t wind the rubber band tighter and tighter. The tension has to be released, or sooner or later the rubber band will snap. When it snaps it will lead us to a mental failure, a moral failure or severe chronic health conditions. We’re seeing the same thing happen with quarantine fatigue.

I used to use a lot of Andy Griffith illustrations in my sermons. There’s one episode of the Andy Griffith Show that illustrates how we live most of our lives. The episode is entitled “Man in a Hurry,” and it’s about a business man from Raleigh (Mr. Tucker, I think is his name) whose car breaks down on Sunday. Of course, Wally, the owner of the filling station, isn’t available on Sunday, so Mr. Tucker convinces Gomer to try to fix the car. The man finds it imperative to get to Charlotte. No amount of coaxing will encourage the man to rest, relax, take it easy until Monday morning when Wally will be back and willing to fix his car.

He’s a man in a hurry. At one point, Mr. Tucker says, “You people are living in another world. This is the 20th century. Don’t you realize that? The whole world is living in a desperate space age. Men are orbiting the earth. International television has been developed, and here, a whole town is standing still because two old women’s feet fall asleep!” Barney just looks at Andy and asks, “I wonder what causes that?” That desperate need to be on the run was broadcast in 1963—that’s the year I was born, folks. Things have only gotten worse since.

Rest

We need rest, and the Psalmist says that’s exactly what the shepherd offers his sheep. “He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul.” You know how it is, right? Living life with all these balls juggling in the air—you’ve got the work ball, the family ball, the church ball, the society ball. We run frantically around trying to keep all the balls juggling at the same time.

Take a look at one of those balls—the work ball. The average American works 47 hours per week. We can’t wait to get to the weekend, right? But then, we don’t rest because we have to keep the family ball in the air. There’s laundry to be done. The yard needs mowing. The hedges need trimming. The roof needs fixing. The kids have ball games. Juggle, juggle, juggle. Then, on March 17th, all that stopped. We were  forced to stop juggling the balls–to put them down, as it were. And now, we’re stressed about that, too. Ain’t life funny?

If we’re not resting, it might be a good indication we’re not following the Shepherd.  Even when we’ve been given the gift of time to rest, and the rest is stressing us, it’s a good indication we’re not following because the Shepherd makes us lie down in green pastures and leads us beside still waters. HE does it. He does it because rest is part of God’s nature. God worked for six days and He rested. God looked on the seventh day and saw that it was “very good.” The work was complete. And God built that rhythm into life. God didn’t need to rest because He was weary from the work. God rested because the creation was complete. It was whole.

Yeah, we had to go and mess it up. But, we can rest because we are complete in the Shepherd. We find wholeness in our relationship with the shepherd, and I remind us that wholeness is really the definition behind this little thing we call salvation.

Rest comes as a result of contentment. Sheep rest when they are content. Phillip Keller in his great book, A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23, says there are four things that create discontent in sheep: 1) fear, 2) friction, 3) parasites, and 4) hunger. The sheep are able to rest when the shepherd addresses each one of those circumstances.

So, what are we afraid of? We can acknowledge there is much that promotes fear in the pandemic. Let’s name those fears. Where are the places of friction in our lives? All the memes on social media about home-schooling and drunk teachers are funny for a reason. Is it in a relationship? No doubt, the quarantine has caused a number of couples to deal with issues that have long been buried. What are the parasites that are drawing the life out of us? What are we hungry for (besides Mexican food)?  We find meaning, purpose and value in life when we depend on the Shepherd, not when we depend upon ourselves–even in a quarantine.

Finding Stillness

Rest doesn’t come easily or automatically for us. We must cultivate the art. May I offer some suggestions to aid cultivation?

  1. Block out time–even with an abundance on the calendar–to rest. Hopefully, you’ve established a routine even for the quarantine. Include intentional times of disconnect from the routine to stop and connect with the Shepherd.
  2. Don’t take yourself (or others) too seriously. There are things that are serious, but they are far fewer in number than we imagine.
  3. Laugh out loud every day at something. I didn’t say laugh at someone. That can be destructive. But, the wisdom writer of Proverbs says, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine” (Proverbs 17:22).
  4. Embrace the gift God is giving us to change the things in our lives that need changing. God is giving us the opportunity to reassess our priorities by learning what we can live without.

Rest is part of God’s provision for our lives. In the midst of quarantine fatigue, it seems a good time to be reminded that rest is part of the “all I need” the Good Shepherd provides. Perhaps that’s our greatest need. Maybe it’s why that’s where David started his greatest song.

Until next time, keep looking up…

Reflecting on Rest (Three Reasons to take a Vacation)…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

vanessas beach picIt seems a bit self-serving to reflect on reasons to take a vacation (especially while one is on vacation), and it also seems a bit counter-productive to write a blog while on vacation (isn’t writing a blog considered work?). So, you see the bind people find themselves in when they take vacation? Especially in the “helping” professions, the line between work and rest become incredibly blurred.

My lines have not been quite so blurry this week. I’ve managed a decent week on disconnecting. I’ve only checked work emails a couple of times (one way to avoid doing so is un-sync your phone from your work email), and I’ve only responded to a couple of work related emails. I’ve managed to spend some very relaxing days with my toes in the sand. It’s been a pretty good week…if I do say so myself.

Pastors are notorious for not taking enough vacation. That shouldn’t be surprising. It simply means pastors are a lot like other Americans. The Huffington Post reported that 40% of Americans don’t take all their vacation. 40%! That’s a large number. There are probably a lot of reasons that number is so high, not the least of which is that not many people can afford to “go” on vacation. I know I can’t afford (monetarily speaking) to be away from home four weeks a year. I rather think it has more to do with our need to be needed…which is all the more reason to take the vacation.

“All the more reason to take the vacation…” Because I’m on vacation, let me be brief and offer three reasons it’s important to take the vacation time each of us is given.beach view

HUMILITY

As paradoxical as this may be to say, vacation is not ultimately about you. Resting is ultimately about our dependence on our creator. It is an acknowledgement on our part that we are weak and limited. It’s a confession, especially for us pastors, that we’re not the answer to all our church’s issues. Additionally, rest is a great way to break the “works righteousness” mentality. Rest allows us to better understand the theology of grace.

Moreover, rest is as much for those around us. Rest is a gift to our families, especially our spouses. Sure, we might not need a vacation, but our spouse and our children do! Don’t our families deserve as much of us as the world does? Yes, ministry is a calling, but so is being a good spouse and parent.

Taking a vacation is an excellent reminder of our ultimate expendability. That’s really not a fun think to think about, but the reality is that when we’re away, the world keeps right on turning. Tasks get completed without you. Yes, I know. There will be a pile waiting on my desk when I get back…but…they are “waiting.” Nothing earth-shattering happened because you weren’t there to take care of a task.

HEALTH

Vacations lower stress and reduce anxiety (unless you’re one of those rare persons who stresses out because of all the work they’re missing). We need to take a lesson from professional athletes who routinely “recover” between training sessions. We can only push our minds and our bodies so far without them breaking. The tighter the rubber band is wound, the more likely it is to snap. Time off and vacations are some of the healthiest things we can do. And, it’s biblical, too. God built rest into the rhythm of life. There’s a reason He did. (Read more about rest here).

work-vacation-policy-pop_3122Vacations also promote health within the organizations we lead. Vacation by the leader of the organization provides a positive example to staff of the importance of maintaining a proper work/life balance. Additionally, it frees up staff to creatively manage in the leaders absence. In churches, it also empowers the laity to embrace their own gifts for ministry as laity step up to fill roles usually reserved for their clergy leaders. Who knows? A pastor’s vacation may be the very vehicle God uses to allow someone to discern God’s call to ministry in their own life. I’d say that was a pretty healthy thing.

CREATIVITY

Routine tasks stifle creativity. That’s why it’s called “getting in a rut.” When the mind relaxes, it begins to function in a more creative way. Imagine…getting away from work may be the very thing that frees up the creative juices so you can solve that pesky problem that’s been hindering you at work (see…another paradox). I’ve always had a hard time writing sermons or preparing bible studies when in the office. It’s when I’m away from the “routine” of work that creativity is spawned.

Yeah, I know…it’s not a deep reflection…but, hey…I’m on vacation. You can’t really expect me to think too deeply, can you? Maybe you’ll find these three reasons helpful in encouraging you to take your own vacation.

Until next time, keep looking up…

Rest Area Ahead…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
2     He makes me lie down in green pastures;
he leads me beside still waters;
3     he restores my soul.   Psalm 23: 1 – 3 (NRSV)

Psalm 23 is the best-known, best-loved, and not to mention most-memorized of all the Psalms. We read it at funerals to comfort the grieving, at hospital beds to encourage the sick, and to those who have run aground on the discouragements of life. We read it because it is a song of confidence in God. This psalm is called the Shepherds Psalm because it portrays God as a good Shepherd, who cares for his flock. The Psalm is attributed to King David. If anyone was qualified to describe God in this manner, it was David. David had been a shepherd before he became king. So David had a pretty good idea of what a shepherd is like. How often David must have gazed up at the heavens on those star-filled nights while he was out watching over his father’s sheep and pondered the very nature of God! There in the depths of his heart he must have pondered how much God was just like a shepherd. His years of shepherding had taught him a few things, and as he contemplated the shepherd’s work, he found a fitting description of what God does for his people.

rest areaThere are a number of things David notes in this Psalm. The opening sentence really says all that needs to be said: “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” The NIV says, “I shall not be in want,” and the NLT says, “I have everything I need.” Everything that comes after the first sentence is unpacking what the Psalmist means by having everything he needs. We’re already into the summer months, and we’re anticipating time off and vacations and days on the lake or the river, so I believe it’s important to focus on only one aspect of this Psalm today—rest.

We don’t often rest well in this 24/7/365 culture in which we live. Rest is almost a forgotten art, but rest is integral to our human existence. We can’t wind the rubber band tighter and tighter. The tension has to be released, or sooner or later the rubber band will snap. When it snaps it will lead us to a mental failure, a moral failure or severe chronic health conditions. I used to use a lot of Andy Griffith illustrations in my messages. I figured out, however, that younger generations didn’t know who Andy Griffith was. I don’t use them much anymore. Still, there’s one episode of the Andy Griffith Show that illustrates how we live most of our lives. The episode is entitled “Man in a Hurry”

and it’s about a business man whose car breaks down on Sunday. Of course, Wally, the owner of the filling station, isn’t available on Sunday, so Mr. Tucker convinces Gomer to try to fix the car. The man finds it imperative to get to Charlotte. No amount of coaxing will encourage the man to rest, relax, take it easy until Monday morning when Wally will be back and willing to fix his car. He’s a man in a hurry. That desperate need to be on the run was broadcast in 1963—that’s the year I was born, folks. Things have only gotten worse since.

We need rest, and the Psalmist says that’s exactly what the shepherd offers his sheep. “He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul.” You know how it is, right? Living life with all these balls juggling in the air—you’ve got the work ball, the family ball, the church ball, the society ball. We run frantically around trying to keep all the balls juggling at the same time. Let’s take a look at one of those balls—the work ball. The average American works 47 hours per week. We can’t wait to get to the weekend, right? But then, we don’t rest because we have to keep the family ball in the air. There’s laundry to be done. The yard needs mowing. The hedges need trimming. The roof needs fixing. The kids have ball games. Juggle, juggle, juggle.

Seriously, don’t think we’re going to wait until we take a vacation to rest. You’ve seen National Lampoon’s Vacation. That’s the way most vacations go. Run from one place to the next trying to take in all the sights we can because our time is limited and we want to get the most bang for the buck. We have to come home and go back to work to rest—most of the time.  There’s even a new Vacation movie coming out soon. Unfortunately, I’ve seen the trailer, and there’s no way I would link it on this blog (nor recommend you see the film!).

For me, a beach vacation is one exception that comes to mind. It was at the beach I discovered the value in doing nothing, and I discovered that doing nothing is actually doing something. Resting is not about letting all those balls we juggle drop. Resting is taking the balls and setting them down.

If we’re not resting, that might be a pretty good indication we’re not following the Shepherd.  If we go 24/7/365, that’s a pretty good indication we’re not following the Shepherd because the Shepherd makes us lie down in green pastures and leads us beside still waters. HE does it. He does it because rest is part of God’s nature. God worked for six days and he rested. God looked on the seventh day and saw that it was “very good.” The work was complete. And God built that rhythm into life. God didn’t need to rest because he was weary from the work. God rested because the creation was complete. It was whole. Yeah, we had to go and mess it up, but we can rest because we are complete in the Shepherd. We find wholeness in our relationship with the shepherd, and I remind you that wholeness is really the definition behind this little thing we call salvation.

Rest comes as a result of contentment. Sheep rest when they are content. Phillip Keller in his great book, A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23, says there are four things that create discontent in sheep: 1) fear, 2) friction, 3) parasites, and 4) hunger. The sheep are able to rest when the shepherd addresses each one of those circumstances. So, what are we afraid of? Afraid of not getting ahead? Afraid of not keeping up with the Joneses? Afraid of death? Where are the places of friction in our lives? Is it work/family balance? Is it in a relationship? What are the parasites that are drawing the life out of us? What are we hungry for? More possessions? We find meaning, purpose and value in life when we depend on the Shepherd, not when we depend upon ourselves.

Most of us aren’t Andy Griffith, and we don’t live in Mayberry. Resting doesn’t come automatically to us. We have to cultivate the art. Let me offer four suggestions:

  1. Block out time on your calendar to do nothing. It’s not a license to be lazy. It is an intentional disconnect from the distractions, and a time to listen for the Master.
  2. Don’t take yourself (or your job) too seriously. Some things are serious, but far fewer than we think.
  3. Laugh every day, out loud, at something—I didn’t say laugh at someone. That can be destructive. But, the wisdom writer of Proverbs says, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine” (Proverbs 17:22)
  4. When you relax…really relax. Blow it! Enjoy the leisure. Ignore the critics. An unknown alcoholic with AA said, “A relaxed, easy-going person is more attractive than an uptight, rigid person who squeaks when they walk and whines when they talk.” Seriously! Relax!

Rest is part of God’s provision for our lives. As we kick off this summer, it’s a good time to be reminded that rest is part of the “all I need” the Good Shepherd provides. Perhaps that’s our greatest need. Maybe it’s why that’s where David started this greatest song.

Until next time, keep looking up…

R & R…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

I thought I needed to post some random thoughts (more like observations) on a recent rest and recreation trip the wife and I took. Before I begin I need to offer a disclaimer (may I refer you to the name of the website?). I went to a casino. There, I’ve said it. I could insert the phrase “Don’t judge me!” here, but that would be pointless because some of you already have, and the rest of you may before you get to the end of the blog. But, there exists the reality that I could probably use a little judgment in my life (we all could, probably–might be what’s missing in our world today), so I won’t insert that phrase. Go ahead! Judge me! I went to a casino, and it was quite an interesting trip.

casinoThe only time I’ve been to a casino previously was when a church member invited me to a buffet for lunch. He wanted to take me to lunch. That’s where he wanted to eat (something about a military discount). I like food (my favorite food is free food), so I figured if anyone saw the pastor at a casino, at least they’d see me with a church member. I could legitimately call that a ministry opportunity. That trip was a few years ago. This most recent trip was last week.

I should also add that I’m not judging those who choose to go to casinos (hint: when someone says they’re not judging, they probably are). I’ve simply made it a practice throughout my adult life not to waste my money in THAT way. I waste it in a lot of other ways, but I figure why waste money on a losing proposition. I mean, really? Where else does a person walk in the door saying, “I’ve got $20 to lose”? I also need to add that I didn’t gamble while I was at the casino. Seriously, how good would it look if someone saw the preacher sitting at a gaming table (like what they call it?) with cards in front of him? Can you see that picture on Facebook?

So, how did we get to a casino, anyway? Well, I was invited by a couple who attends the church I pastor to officiate their wedding. It was being held in a Gulf Coast community known for its gaming opportunities. It was the week after Easter (always a good time for pastors to take a little R & R), so Vanessa and I thought we’d go down a few days early since it was a community we’d never spent time in before, and it was on the beach (the beach is my happy place). The only accommodations “on the beach” were the casinos. It wasn’t until after we arrived that we discovered “on the beach” does not mean access to the beach (that’s probably the reason the bell hop looked at us funny when we asked him to put our beach chairs on the luggage cart!). I guess management figures if they allowed access to the beach, people might spend more time on the beach, and the whole point is to keep people in the casino. Not only are the casinos the only properties “on the beach,” but they’re also the most elegant properties in town. We wanted nice accommodations “on the beach,” so we figured, let’s stay at a casino (not to mention I got bonus points on my credit card for booking through their travel site at this casino–take that Dave Ramsey!). Now you know how we ended up at a casino.gambling

Here are a few things I noticed while at the casino:

  • First, I thought I was at a Hoveround Scooter convention! I couldn’t believe how many old people were there. Everywhere I looked there were people on scooters, canes and walkers (yes, walkers). I asked one of the staff if there was an old-folks convention (I’m not making fun of old folks–I hope to be one myself someday) at this casino. He answered, “No, it’s this way all the time.” I didn’t know so many old folks went to casinos. Is this what retired people do? And, these old folks came to gamble, too. As I walked around the casino floor watching the action, most of them were pulling the one-armed bandits, but many others were sitting at the table games throwing chips at numbers and making bets. I just scratched my head, wondering “What gives?”
  • On the opposite extreme, I was struck by the number of families there. It was a spring break week, and I never, ever thought of taking my children to a casino for spring break. But, there were children everywhere…even on the casino floor. I didn’t actually see any playing the games, but there was a big arcade at the end of the “retail promenade” (nothing like getting them started early in life). Yeah, there was a nice pool, but there are nice pools in lots of places. I just scratched my head, wondering “What gives?”
  • Apparently, it’s still legal to smoke indoors in public places in this particular town. The lobby of the casino was very pleasant in its atmosphere, and there was an overwhelming scent of perfume. Once leaving the lobby, it quickly became apparent to me why. People were smoking…everywhere…the hallways, the casino floor, the restaurants, the pool, you name it. The only place I didn’t encounter anyone smoking was in the fitness facility. Now, that would have been a paradox. We were worried about packing up our dirty clothes in the suitcase. We didn’t want our suitcase to end up smelling like smoke. I just scratched my head, wondering “What gives?”
  • Take your wallet to the casino! I guess that’s the whole point, though. The only thing they gave away at the casino was air to breath (smoke-filled as it was), and water by the pool. Everything else carried a charge, and that was in addition to the $10.70/day resort fee (what is that for anyway?) that was charged in addition to the rate paid for the hotel room. Not even in-room coffee was complimentary. Really? I can get in-room coffee at Super 8 for a whole lot less money, though I’ll say nothing about the quality of the coffee I might get at Super 8. I’ve rarely spent so much money to spend three days at the beach, and we didn’t really spend a lot of time on the beach! I just scratched my head, wondering “What gives?”

As I’ve re-read what I’ve been writing, I’m wondering why I’m even writing this blog. Perhaps it is to assuage some guilt I’m feeling for having gone to a casino. I’m sure I’m not the first pastor who ever went to a casino, and I’m certain I won’t be the last. I hope when I get to the pearly gates, the Lord doesn’t ask me why I went to that casino. If he does, I’m sunk! I don’t think “because I wanted to be ‘on the beach'” will be an acceptable answer. (No! He probably won’t ask me that question.)

I find myself wondering if anyone who knew me saw me there, would my presence become a stumbling block to them in their faith, and I also wonder if my writing about it might become a stumbling block, too. Perhaps I’m over-thinking it (Vanessa says I do that), and I should just chalk it up to another experience lived. Who knows? It could even be that I’m hoping to stave off the potential problems that will arise should a picture of me surface on Facebook at some time in the future. I’ll say, “Sure, I wrote a blog about it.” Of course, I could simply say, “I was trying to experience life as my congregation experiences it.” After all, I hear my congregation members saying all the time they went to the casino. I’m just simply trying to share their faith journey. I’m almost certain if Jesus were around today, he’d probably spend time at a casino. There is a lot of brokenness in places like that, you know?

I’m sure I’ll get some negative feedback for writing this blog post. I’ll get some folks who’ll say what a bad witness it is for a pastor to be in a casino, and that I should be ashamed of myself for going to such a place. I know all the arguments against gambling, and as a pastor, should my community ever reconsider the possibility of legalized gambling (I’m sorry–gaming), I’ll stand in opposition to it. At least, now, I’ll have some frame of reference from which to legitimately speak.

There’s really no judgment or condemnation intended toward anyone who chooses to spend their time and money in a casino. If judgment or condemnation is to come, I’ll save that for the Lord to do at the appropriate time. I can honestly say now that I’ve had the experience (no, I didn’t buy the T-shirt), it’s not likely I’ll ever go back again. I’ll not say “never” because I’ve learned to never say never, but as of now, I don’t plan to return to a casino any time soon. It was an interesting experience. It was an enlightening experience. And, it was a challenging experience. If you’ve never had that experience, there’s nothing about mine that would encourage me to encourage you to go to a casino. You’ll be wasting your time and your money. But, hey! It’s your time and your money, so…I’ll just scratch my head and wonder, “What gives?”

Until next time, keep looking up…