Mother’s Day

Let me go ahead and say it, “Happy Mother’s Day!” to all the moms out there. What in the world would we do without you?

Apparently, it’s uncouth to say it or celebrate it in today’s culture because some mothers have failed at being good mothers, or because some children are estranged from their mothers, or because of the grief and pain that comes in having lost a mother or a mother having lost children. And, we shouldn’t forget those who always wanted to be mothers and couldn’t, for whatever reason. For all these (and more), Mother’s Day is just too triggering, so we should simply forego the occasion.

Oh! Let’s also not forget that it’s also become such a Hallmark holiday that it should be shunned so as not to make big corporations any richer. Yup! There’s that!

With all the sincerity I can muster, I say to all of those persons–“I’m sorry for your loss, or for your experience. I truly am. I pray that you can find peace on your journey, and that the Lord gives you strength for each day.”

A Tragic Story of Motherhood

At the same time, I’m going to say, “Happy Mother’s Day!” to all those moms who have faithfully served their children and their families. You’ve got the toughest job in the world, and the overwhelming majority of you do it with strength, concern, wisdom and courage.

Strength. Concern. Wisdom. Courage. Four characteristics of faithful mothers that I actually find lived out in the life of a mother that were born of tragic circumstances, and out of those tragic circumstances came the Savior of the world. Yes, I’m thinking about Ruth in the Old Testament.

Tucked away in the Old Testament between Judges and 1 Samuel is the compelling story of Ruth, and her place in the lineage of Jesus. Equally compelling is the story of Ruth’s mother-in-law in surviving tragic events in her life to play her part in setting the stage for the coming of God’s Kingdom. It is to Naomi that I look this morning as I reflect on mothers this Mother’s Day.

Naomi’s story begins in tragedy:

1 In the days when the judges ruled, there was a famine in the land. So a man from Bethlehem in Judah, together with his wife and two sons, went to live for a while in the country of Moab. ²The man’s name was Elimelek, his wife’s name was Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Kilion. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem,Judah. And they went to Moab and lived there. (Ruth 1:1-2 NIV)

Naomi and her family depart Bethlehem (the house of bread) because there is no bread. Worse still, they go to Moab–called “God’s washbasin” by the Psalmist (108:9). Not a great move, but in hard times, you do what you need to do.

Add to the fact this was happening during the period of the Judges, the writer seems to indicate that not only was it a time of literal famine, but also during a time of spiritual famine. Remember what it says in Judges 21:25? “In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as they saw fit.”

But, there is more tragedy revealed in these opening words. Her two sons? Mahlon and Killion? Yeah, their names mean “sickly” and “puny.” Not what you would call model circumstances for the model family.

The tragedy ain’t over, either. They get to Moab and her husband (Elimelech) dies. Naomi, in a strange land and with no support network, loses her husband and is left with her sickly son and her puny son. Can things get any worse?

⁴They married Moabite women, one named Orpah and the other Ruth (Ruth 1:4a NIV).

Yup! They married Moabite women, thus breaking Jewish law. Tragedy on top of tragedy on top of tragedy. But, that’s not all the tragedy:

After they had lived there about ten years, ⁵both Mahlon and Kilion also died, and Naomi was left without her two sons and her husband (Ruth 1:4b-5 NIV).

Now, without her sons, Naomi is left to fend for herself and her two daughters-in-law…in a foreign country, no less. She decides she has no way of supporting herself in a strange land, so she determines to return to Bethlehem. We discover Naomi’s grace in her willingness to release Oprah and Ruth from their obligation to her (Ruth 1:8).

She was doing what mothers do: making the sacrifice for the betterment of her children.

Oprah chose to return to her family of origin, but Ruth chose to stay with Naomi, and in so doing, gives us one of the most moving passages in the Bible:

¹⁶But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. ¹⁷Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me” (Ruth 1: 16-17 NIV).

Naomi and Ruth make their return to Bethlehem, and upon their arrival, Naomi, in true motherly fashion, sums up her life:

²⁰“Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them. “Call me Mara, because the Almightyhas made my life very bitter. ²¹I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me” (Ruth 1:20-21 NIV).

Grace Born in Tragedy

A tragic life borne of tragic circumstances that has brought some bitterness in her life. Yes to all of that, but I see strength and concern and wisdom and courage all along the way.

The author gives no indication that Naomi displays any grief. They only reflect that Naomi bore her pain and went on with life. Isn’t that what good mothers do? They get up and go on, and that takes incredible strength.

A Mother’s Strength

A mother’s strength is a mystery to us. It is such a mystery that the Jewish people have a proverb that says, “God could not be everywhere and therefore He made mothers.”

It took a strong woman to endure the circumstances that life had thrown Naomi’s way, and to encourage her daughters-in-law to return to their people. Our mothers…good and faithful mothers…are strong women–perhaps the strongest.

A Mother’s Concern

I also see a mother’s concern for her children in this unfolding tragedy. Naomi, knowing that she could not care for the spiritual, emotional or physical needs of Orpah and Ruth, was willing to forego her own happiness in favor of theirs. These two young ladies were the only connection she had left to her family, but she was willing to make the sacrifice.

Isn’t that just like a good mother? Always sacrificing her own needs for the needs of her children. That is what good mothers do.

Focus on the Family shared the story of 36-year-old Kara Tippet who was diagnosed with terminal cancer. One doctor told her to spend her remaining days enjoying the beach somewhere, while a second doctor offered to extend her life by a couple of years with some grueling treatments. She chose the treatments, writing these words to her children:

“I’ve chosen to try to survive for you. This has some horrible costs, including pain, loss of my good humor, and moods I won’t be able to control. But I must try this, if only on the outside chance that I might live one minute longer. And that minute could the be one you might need me when no one else will do. For this I intend to struggle, tooth and nail, so help me God.”

Actually, a good godly mother never surrenders her happiness for her children because her happiness comes from seeing the eyes of her child light up when she is there for him or her, no matter the cost to herself. That’s because they are concerned for their children.

A Mother’s Wisdom

A good mother is also so wise, and I see that wisdom reflected in Naomi. Mothers have an uncanny knack for knowing the right thing to say at the right time, or for knowing when to not say anything at all. Naomi’s wisdom is revealed in verse 18: “When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.”

Mom’s always know just what to do in those difficult and confusing situations of life. The Lord has granted most of our moms great wisdom, and for that we celebrate them.

A Mother’s Courage

I also see a mother’s courage reflected in Naomi’s life. What great courage it took for Naomi (which actually means “pleasantness”) to continue on with life even though it had become quite “bitter.” Mothers often appear to be superhuman, but they are not. Mothers have needs, too, but we too often fail to recognize them.

The courage of a mother allows her to hide those needs deep within her own self because she knows the high calling and hard task that God has given her. Can’t we, for just one day a year, take the time to recognize that moms have needs, too? I believe it is certainly okay to do so, even if it is triggering for some. Moms, most moms, are courageous, and for that we celebrate.

Let me close with a quote from Chuck Swindoll on the debt we owe to our mothers. Though it doesn’t apply to all mothers everywhere, it certainly applies to most mothers–the very one who made your life possible.

“Dear Mom:

As I walk through my museum of memories,

I owe you—for your time. Day and night.

I owe you—for your example. Consistent and dependable.

I owe you—for your support. Stimulating and challenging.

I owe you—for your humor. Sparky and quick.

I owe you—for your counsel. Wise and quiet.

I owe you—for your humility. Genuine and gracious.

I owe you—for your hospitality. Smiling and warm.

I owe you—for your insight. Keen and honest.

I owe you—for your flexibility. Patient and joyful.

I owe you—for your sacrifices. Numerous and quickly forgotten.

I owe you—for your faith. Solid and sure.

I owe you—for your hope. Ceaseless and indestructible.

I owe you—for your love. Devoted and deep.”

Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms–especially to Sonda Womack and Vanessa Malone. Your great strength, concern, wisdom and courage are shining examples of faithfulness for all your children.

Until next time, keep looking up…

Happy Mother’s Day! Let me take a few lines on this special day to say “Thank you!” to the mothers in my life, and to all mothers everywhere. None of us (and I mean literally none of us) would be who we are without our mothers (for better or worse).

I say “for better or worse,” because I know not everyone has been blessed with incredible examples of motherhood in their lives, and that is truly unfortunate. I, on the other hand, have been blessed beyond measure with those mothers who are shining examples of what it means to be a mother.

Great is Thy Faithfulness

I tell folks that I was raised at the foot of a Methodist piano. My mother, Sonda Womack, played piano for three Methodist churches in our home area. She rode the circuit just like the circuit rider preacher every Sunday so that those congregations had the benefit of music in worship. Most Sundays, my brothers and I had to make that circuit with her, and there we would sit, often listening to the same sermon three times (talk about insufferable!) just for the opportunity to make it to the “big” church so we could be with all our friends.

I didn’t necessarily enjoy all that time at the foot of a Methodist piano, but her faithfulness in serving the Lord by serving those congregations gave me an early example of what discipleship and servanthood looks like. Being an accompanist for all those years was ministry for her. I know that because she was never paid a salary by any of those churches. Yes, there were frequent love offerings the congregations shared, but she never “charged” for her services. It was a gift of love to the Lord.

Her faithfulness shaped me and my brothers. Of that, I have no doubt. She was, for much of our early years, a single mom. She worked long, hard hours to insure that we had what we needed…not always what we wanted…but always what we needed. I can remember her working three jobs when we were little. She worked at the local bank. She would leave that job and head to the local post office where she was a part-time flexible worker. And, if you think playing piano at three churches on Sunday morning isn’t work (whether you’re paid or not), well you’ve got another think coming.

Even now, into her 80’s, she continues to serve two congregations through her gift of music. Still riding the circuit after all these years!

She was, and is, an example of faith and faithfulness and love for which I am forever grateful. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

The Heart of Our Family

Let me tell you something else. When I married, I married up. I mean I married way up! My wife, Vanessa, is the most amazing mother I know (my own mother notwithstanding). Vanessa has throughout our lives together demonstrated the sacrificial love of Jesus in the most profound of ways. I honestly believe that she was born to be a mother…and grandmother.

I have spent the last forty years watching her nurture our children and grandchildren. I can tell you that she raised our children while I was off going to school and pastoring churches and chasing dreams. Anything good our children have attained or become can be credited to her love and diligence in caring for them.

Raising our children was never a sacrifice for her. It was her gift. She was, for many years, the nurturer, the care-giver, the chauffeur, the cook, the cleaner, the confidant, the disciplinarian, the encourager, the helper and the friend to all four of our children, and she has quickly become that to our grandchildren, too. I might also add, she is all those things to me as a spouse. She is my best friend, and I’m not so sure our children wouldn’t also call her their best friend, either.

She is amazing and beautiful and funny and sacrificial and loving. Try as I might, there really aren’t words to describe what she is to me and to our family. She is the heart and soul of who we are as a family. Happy Mother’s Day, Vanessa!

An Enduring Legacy of Love

The examples of love and sacrifice goes back beyond our present generation. My grandmothers…well…what can I say about them?

My maternal grandmother, Aline Johnson Roberts, demonstrated for me how to serve your spouse. My Papaw lived with rheumatoid arthritis for as long as I have any memory of him. He was bedridden for most of later years of life. Mamaw never left his side.

Everyday, she busied herself waiting on him hand and foot. I never once heard her complain (and mind you, my brothers and I lived with them for several years) about his illness, or the necessity of her caring for him. She did it out of love. She did it out of compassion. And, that was after raising ten children and dealing with 18 (I think) grandchildren (nine of which either lived with them or next door to them).

She remains an example of self-giving love that demonstrates the heart of motherhood. Happy heavenly Mother’s Day, Mamaw!

My paternal grandmother, Kittie Oxford Malone, is a saint if there ever was one. We called her “Mama Kit.” Mama Kit earned her sainthood by putting up with my grandfather, my dad and my uncle. Don’t misunderstand me. I love all three of those men dearly, but they could be…oh, let’s just say…challenging to live with (that’s all I’ll say about that!).

When Vanessa and I married, we moved into her backyard. There we started raising our family. She was there when all our children were born. She was the go-to babysitter for our children. Every afternoon when the kids would arrive home from school, their first stop was usually her house. She generally had cheese toast or cinnamon toast prepared for them when they arrived.

She would spend countless hours reading to our oldest daughter and as she would read she would gently rub our daughter’s back. Our oldest daughter is her namesake, and I honestly think she still misses those back rubs today.

We discovered when ministry called us to Kentucky for seminary, that the worst part was not having Mama Kit to care for us from our backyard. Yes, we missed all our family, but not in the same way we missed Mama Kit. I only wish my grandchildren would have had the opportunity to know Mama Kit.

Mama Kit gave me an example of perseverance in the face of adversity, of commitment to life-long marriage and of selfless love. I am blessed to have her as part of the legacy of faithful motherhood in my live. Happy heavenly Mother’s Day, Mama Kit.

Thank You Mothers!

There are so many more memories and reflections I could share, but this is a long post already. Thank you for indulging me in this overly personal blog. And, thank you to all the mothers that we celebrate on this Mother’s Day.

If your mother is still with you, give thanks to God for her and make sure she knows how much you appreciate her. If your mother is no longer alive, then simply give thanks to God for the memories of love and faithfulness you have.

If you have no good memories of your own mother, can you at least be grateful to God that she gave you life? That is a gift unto itself and you should be grateful.

So, Happy Mother’s Day to all our mothers and grandmothers. May God bless you all on this special day.