Life

Suffering Fools…(and other advice for people my age)

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

I haven’t written much lately. I’ve just been too busy. If I’d known that at age 62 I’d be working seven days a week, I might have rethought some things or done some better planning. This is the time of life that one is supposed to be winding down, not ramping up, but ramp up I have, so…

Honestly, what I’ve been reflecting on over the last several weeks is my own mortality. I suppose that’s what we old people do. I don’t really know. I’ve never been old before. It’s kinda’ funny because I don’t really feel old, well except in the morning when I get up, and at night when I go to bed, and the three times during the night (sorry, too much information!)…

I get a lot of windshield time every week (it’s an 80-mile round trip to work). That windshield time is when I do a lot of praying and a lot of thinking. As I’ve been praying and thinking lately, I’ve hit upon several things that I’ve decided I’m not going to do anymore. It simply, at age 62, doesn’t make sense to me to do these things. I thought I’d share them with you, so here goes…

The Five Things I’m Not Going to Do Anymore at My Age

1. Suffer Fools

Yes, I know the Apostle Paul says that we are to “suffer fools gladly” (2 Cor. 11:19), but I also think it was in one of his sarcastic moments that he said it.

The reality is at this age, time is too precious to waste on foolish people. You know the ones I’m talking about–the ones that always only talk about themselves, that think they are the center of the world, that think they’re always right (or that you are always wrong), that are always argumentative, that are always demanding something of others that they don’t offer themselves.

I’m not going to be confrontational. I’m simply going to step away. Peace these days is more important than winning an argument or proving someone wrong, or even calling out foolishness. Honestly, there will have to be a strong urging on the part of the Holy Spirit for me to engage past the surface level of pleasantries before moving on.

2. Care What Other People Think

Okay, so confession time. I spent a lot of time in my past caring what other people thought of me. Perhaps it’s the middle child syndrome that captured me, but I used to cultivate a certain appearance because I thought it was what people expected of me. One of my most important characteristics was trying to meet others expectations, and it all had to do with what they might think about me otherwise.

Yeah, well now that I’m in my 60’s, I’m done with that. Why? Honestly? Because they’re NOT thinking about me! They’re too busy focused on their own lives and worried about their own problems to be worried about me. I suppose it took me all these years to figure that out.

Two passages of scripture come to mind: First is Proverbs 29:25–“It is dangerous to be concerned with what other people think of you, but if you trust in the Lord, you are safe.” And, the Apostle Paul warns the Galatian Christians, “For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10).

I only care what Christ thinks of me. Will he find me faithful? Oh! And, Vanessa. I care what she thinks of me. Everyone else? Eh!

3. Compare Myself to Others

This third “not-going-to-do” thing is closely related to the second one, but I do believe it stands on its own. I used to compare myself to other preachers. I used to compare my church to other churches. I used to measure my success by the success of others.

Dang! This is more confessional than I thought it would be when I started writing this list down.

Now that I’m in my 60’s, the race is about over. Life is not a competition that I need to win. Hey? If I haven’t won by now, I’m not likely to this late in the game. Of course, it all depends on how one defines winning.

There will always be someone who is better, richer, stronger, younger, better looking (well, maybe not!) than I am. But, I have no way of knowing what is going on in their lives. Their lives could all be a facade. Besides, some wise sage once said, “Comparison destroys contentment.” That sage was correct.

As I think about winning the race, I am reminded of what the writer to the Hebrews wrote to the Church: “let us run with endurance the race God has set before us” (Hebrews 12:1b). Life is not a race that we are in to win. Life is a race we are in simply to finish, and Christ calls us to run with patient endurance all the way to the end.

How do we do that? The writer to the Hebrews tells us that, too: “We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith” (Hebrews 12:2a). At this age, I just want to be more like Jesus. He’s the only one I’m going to compare myself to because the goal of every believer’s life is to be Christ-like. How do I measure up in that regard?

4. Chase Old Goals

This one is tricky, but let me try to explain it. It used to be that I was extremely goal-oriented, chasing the great job, the big church, moving up the corporate ladder (yes, the church has one of those). For the most part, I achieved all those goals.

The Lord, for some strange reason, chose to bless us beyond measure (He still does, too), and ministry was very good to us. I only hope the ministry He entrusted to me was fruitful, and that all the chasing of those goals was not at the expense of faithfulness.

Now that I’m 62, I can say, “Been there, done that!” And, though I found meaning in the moment, looking back over my life, they just don’t seem that important. What are my new goals? Faithfulness to Jesus and a legacy for my family. Everything I do will be oriented to one of those ends.

I don’t want to come to the end of the race only to hear my Savior say, “Depart from me, you who practice iniquity, for I never knew you” (Matt. 7:23). The longing of my heart is to enter His presence and hear “‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord’” (Matt. 25:23).

Yup! That should have been my goal all along. It’s a pity it took me getting to be an old man to figure it out. Praise God I did!

5. Ignore My Health

Man! This one has really hit home over the past year. I went 61 years of my life without medication other than the occasional antibiotic or over-the-counter cold medicine. Now, I’m making regular trips to the pharmacy to keep the medicine cabinet full.

I think most of the issues I’m dealing with are hereditary, but let’s just say I’ve not always been the healthiest guy in the world. Yes, back in 2008 – 2009, I went through a period of weight-loss and health improvement, but it was done with chasing those goals I mentioned earlier in mind. I wanted to look better and feel better so I would have a better chance of hitting those goals.

Now, the goal is to be healthy so I can live longer. I know! None of us are going to live forever, but I would like to at least outlive my dad (who died at 63!). There are still some health-related things I need to deal with, but one thing I have done is take off 25 of the pounds I put back on post-2009. Now, I’ve got a closet full of clothes that are too big! Do not take that as a complaint.

My goal is to have the energy to do the things Vanessa and I should be doing now that we’re at this age. A little travel and a lot of family takes a lot of energy. Healthy lives lend themselves to quality lives. I won’t be ignoring my health nor taking it for granted anymore.

Conclusion

So, there you have the five things I’m not going to do anymore. Perhaps I should have cast them in a more positive light and said “The Five Things I’ve Started Doing at My Age,” but I’m a glass half empty kind of guy (which I should probably stop being at this age), so what ya’ gonna’ do? There may be a few tricks old dogs really can’t learn.

I do, however, believe that I don’t have to suffer fools, nor do I have to care what other people think, nor compare myself to others, nor chase all the old goals I set in life. I also believe that I can no longer ignore my health if I want to have fruitful years ahead.

How about you? Are there any things you’re not doing now that you’re older? Or if you’re one of those “younger” folks still out there chasing dreams, is there anything on this list that struck a nerve? I’d love to hear back from any of you. Leave your comments below.

Until next time (whenever that might be), keep looking up…

Just More Bad News…

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Did the title get your attention? Well, that’s exactly what I wanted it to do. You probably clicked on the link because you thought, “Oh! Let me see what the bad news is!”

Well, the bad news is that your/our social media is leading us to more and more bad news. It really doesn’t matter the platform, either. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, X (Twitter)–the algorithms are all pointing us to bad news. And, we keep clicking and keep scrolling. We get caught in a “doom loop,” and that makes the situation worse.

Positively Negative

The reality is we like bad news. Many years ago, I had a radio executive in one of the congregations I served. I dabbled in radio as a younger guy, so I thought “Maybe it’s time to get back into radio.” I had a conversation with the executive to pitch my idea for a local radio talk show. After a couple of back and forth conversations discussing the idea he eventually said, “Lynn, to be successful in talk radio, you have to be negative. I don’t think you really want to be negative.” That same attention-grabbing negativity that drives talk radio also drives our social media algorithms.

No, I didn’t want to be negative then, and I don’t want to be negative now, but heaven help me, I find myself being more and more negative in my online engagement, and that’s leading me to be more negative in my face-to-face engagements. I don’t like the person I’m becoming as a result of all the “bad news” in my life. It’s messing with my sanctification!

It would be real easy to say, “It’s not my fault!” That’s the easy out. I could blame it on “algorithmic negativity bias” (it’s a real thing–look it up). Look, social media is designed to keep us scrolling. The algorithm learns which posts get our attention–that make us stop, linger or click. Unfortunately, bad news gets our attention more than good news. If we stop and linger on a “bad news” headline, we get more bad news headlines in our feed.

We humans have a survival mode bred into us that means our brains are wired to pay more attention to threats and danger (think “fight or flight” here). So, when we see a negative headline, we naturally pause.

Traditional media understood this long before the brainiacs developed algorithms for social media. Traditional media was driven by two statements: “If it bleeds, it leads,” and “Sex sells!” Social media has simply perfected these mentalities, and we’ve (meaning “me”) fallen for it in a big way.

What really makes me stop on the bad news headline? It’s just my old sinful nature at work, and the Enemy is utilizing social media to draw me away from the holiness to which Christ calls me. Let me say it this way, “Sin has a hold of me and it won’t let go, and now social media is helping it keep its hold.”

Turning Off the Doom Loop

So, the Holy Spirit and I have a little work to do. Yeah, I know the simple answer is to get off social media, but I ask, “This day and age is getting off social media a realistic possibility?” Social media is simply a tool. It is amoral. It is what we do with it that determines its morality.

The first thing I must do to turn off the doom loop is repent. All significant spiritual change begins with repentance. I repent of my own negativity and I’m sorry for all the negative posts I’ve made on social media (and there have been a few more than I care to admit). My prayer is “Change my heart, O God!”

The Lord really does want to change my heart, and as much as I would like a supernatural transformation, He’s asking me to do a little of the work myself. What is He asking me to do?

One, He’s telling me to limit my time on social media. Set a timer if I need to in order to remind myself how long I’ve been online. I need to spend less time online and more time “touching grass,” as they say–more time in face-to-face interactions. It’s a whole lot easier to say mean things online than it is in person.

Two, I need to actively engage with positive content online in order to reprogram the algorithm. That means I have to mute or block or snooze the negativity in my social media feed. When I find positive content I need to share it with others. Simply don’t click on negative headlines. Stop falling into the trap.

Three, I need to get back into God’s Word. I need to spend more time reading and reflecting on God’s Word than scrolling negative headlines on social media.

Yeah, I’ve got a lot of work to do, but with the Holy Spirit’s help, perhaps I’ll come out on the other side a better person. Perhaps the holiness I desire will make its way out in the interactions I have online and in person. That’s my prayer, anyway…

Because I’m just tired of all the bad news…

Until next time, keep looking up…

Reflections, Course-Corrections and Deep Gratitude…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

It is early Sunday morning. I love the early morning hours. They are the best time for me to pray, reflect, read and give thanks. Sometimes I write. Sometimes I don’t. Trust me. Coffee is better at 4:00 a.m., than at 8:00 a.m.

This morning is different than most mornings. It is different, first, because I’m breathing different air than usual. Vanessa and I were able to slip away to Hot Springs, AR for a little R & R over the holiday weekend.

I’m drinking coffee in a rented house. I tell you, this Vrbo thing is nice. You can actually rent someone’s home when you’re on vacation! As nice as it is, I’m not sure I could rent my home to perfect strangers. Seriously, someone you don’t know poking around in your personal space? A bit frightening to me, but here I am doing it in someone else’s home. Go figure?

As I reflect this Sunday morning, I am reflecting again on how fleeting life is. Even these moments of reflection seem to be fleeting, too.

It is different, secondly, because I am holding a tension between sorrow and joy this morning. Not that there isn’t always some sorrow and some joy resident in our lives, but this morning the contrast is particularly striking.

The Paradox of Life and Death

The news is filled with reports from the hill country of Texas and the flash flooding from the Guadalupe River. The sudden loss of life. The tragedy of families searching for loved ones. The tales of heroism. The heart-break to hear of little girls missing in the midst of it all. My heart is broken for those little girls and their families, and also for the Camp Mystic staff who was responsible for their safety. These past two mornings have beef filled with prayer for all of them. Those prayers continue this morning.

In the midst of the deep sorrow, I am also experiencing deep joy at having a few hours to connect (re-connect) with our daughters. Kelsey and her husband, Matt, spent a couple of nights with us here in Hot Springs, and Brittney and our grandson, Lincoln spent yesterday and last night with us. They are our little girls, and I am grateful (eternally so) that we’ve not experienced the horror of losing one of them. While my heart sinks at what I sense those families in Texas are experiencing, I give thanks to the good Lord for our children and the blessings He has poured out on our family.

The devil wants to make me feel guilty for being so grateful, but I refuse to succumb to his tactics. We hold life and death in tension constantly, and this morning is no different. As the Book of Common Prayer (and the Methodist funeral liturgy) reminds us:

In the midst of life, we are in death; From whom can we seek our help?

The answer, of course, is that we find our help in the name of the Lord. As challenging as it sometimes is to do, I hold the tension between life and death by grace and with gratitude, trusting that the Lord will give us strength to face whatever life brings our way.

Missing Annual Conference

I’m also reflecting this morning on Annual Conference. Yeah, I know right? But I must be missing Annual Conference. I’ve had two dreams this week that I was Annual Conference. It’s probably because my Facebook newsfeed has been filled with former colleagues who were attending Annual Conference, and who have been sharing their “new appointments” on their Facebook pages. That reality has brought both good and bad memories. Again, with the paradox (irony?) that is life.

I must say that I haven’t missed Annual Conference very much since I surrendered my credentials in the United Methodist Church. I’ll admit that first June in 2020 was different, but it would have been different anyway because of a little thing called Covid. Beginning in 2021, though, I connected with the Evangelical Methodist Church, and have attended their iteration of Annual Conference since then…until this year.

Due to circumstances beyond my control (that whole life and death thing again), I was unable to attend this year’s “Journey” session. I missed Annual Conference, literally. I suppose, through my subconscious, I’m missing it figuratively, too.

What do I miss? I miss the collegiality. I miss the friendships. I miss the fellowship. I miss the laughter over meals shared. I miss the worship. I miss the singing. I miss the work of Annual Conference. I miss the slipping away to the book store (or to the mall, or the coffee shop, or the golf course, or wherever) when there was a boring report session. Yes, there is much I miss about Annual Conference. The quiet mornings of this weekend have been moments of reflection on that loss.

The quiet mornings of this weekend have also brought me joy as I’ve reflected on the goodness of God since I left the United Methodist Church in 2019. It was a pain-staking decision to surrender my credentials that year, but let’s just say there are many actions the denomination has taken since that time that have affirmed our decision.

There were other options open to me in 2019, one of which was the path of “retirement.” Honestly, if I’m asked by someone now about my situation, and I don’t want to get involved in a whole conversation, I will simply say, “I retired.” It’s easier than having to go through a long explanation about “surrendering orders,” and all that.

Choosing to Quit

Yup! I quit! Call me a quitter if you want, but the reality is I didn’t quit ministry. I simply quit the United Methodist Church. (If we’re being honest, the UMC left me long before I left it.) I had no idea if it was the right decision then, but time has proven that it was a course-correction in my faith journey, and for that course-correction, I give thanks.

Had I chosen to “retire” in the UMC, I would now be limited by the same Annual Conference (that I loved so dearly) as to where I could preach the Gospel, or even attend as a worshipper. If a family member passed away, and that person’s funeral was in a congregation that disaffiliated from the UMC, I couldn’t (with integrity) participate in their funeral without fear of punishment (financially held hostage would be a better characterization). I’m not always sure what Jesus would do, but in that case, I’m pretty sure.

Yeah, I know…sour grapes and all that. I shouldn’t be chewing gum that I’ve chewed before, but the reflections of this weekend have been a reminder of the tensions in life. I’ve been both filled with sorrow and filled with joy…filled with grief and filled with anticipation…filled with heartache and filled with gratitude. In the midst of it all, there is grace–God’s grace. It is only by His grace that the tension is bearable.

So, I’m just going to hold on to Him. Won’t you join me?

Until next time, keep looking up…

A Both/And Sort of Life…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

My daughter gave me a most unique gift for Christmas last year. It’s called Storyworth. It’s a writing prompt. They send you a weekly question. You answer the question and after a year they compile the answers as a book. It’s designed to capture family stories and family history for your children and future generations.

I was challenged by the question posed this week: “How is your life different than you imagined?” I thought I’d share the answer with you, too.

My life is, at one and the same time, both different than what I imagined and not different than what I imagined.

It is different in that I never imagined spending years in full-time vocational ministry. That was never anything that was on my radar, but it is what was on the Lord’s radar for 28 years.

Filling in the Blank

What did I imagine? Maybe too many things to list. I was always a dreamer (day-dreamer). I would sit around and imagine what life would be like if I did __________. I would fill in the blank and that would be a day-dreaming topic.

There were actually a few things I filled in the blanks with that actually had an opportunity to become reality. First, was my desire to be Bob Barker. Not literally Bob Barker, but on television and in radio. I took steps in that direction. I went to work at KTOC- AM & FM radio is Jonesboro, LA. I thought that was the way to get started. I did that for a year and moved to KXKZ-FM in Ruston, LA. I only worked there a few months when Vanessa and I started dating. Working got in the way of dating, so I quite that job and went back to the grocery/hardware business of my grandfather’s, where the options for dating were more flexible.

I also pursued an education while in high school in the communications field. The Vo-Tech school offered classes in Radio-Television Technology. I spent my high school week-day afternoons as a student of that program.

Those classes opened the door to many opportunities in the radio/television field. It eventually led to a job opportunity in Lake Charles, LA with a local TV station there. The News Director from KNOE-TV in Monroe had recently transferred to Lake Charles. He knew me from my time hanging around KNOE as part of the Vo-Tech classes. He called and offered me a job as a cameraman/videographer (that was the real entry level job in television in those days). I was young. Vanessa and I were planning to get married, so I declined the opportunity. Honestly, I was just scared. I didn’t want to leave Chatham, LA. Ironic that I did leave Chatham some years later pursuing a path that I had never imagined.

Another time the blank was filled in was in pursuing a career in the military. I was a recently married young man and my childhood experiences of visiting Barksdale Air Force Base on yearly trips to the air show fueled my love for the military (well, the Air Force, actually). One day, Vanessa and I were in Monroe and we just stopped by the Air Force recruiting office. I walked in and told them I wanted to join. They started the process right then and there. I guess they didn’t want to let a live one get away.

I took their battery of tests. I actually aced their ASVAB test. The recruiter said he’d never had a recruit to ace that test. He seemed really excited to have me joining up. We then moved to the physical aspect of their requirements. They took me in a back room, measured me and weighed me, and determined that I was 22 pounds overweight for the Air Force.

He said I had two options: one, go over to the Army recruiter. The Army would take me in my overweight condition. Or two, go home and go on a diet and come back in a couple of months. I chose the second option primarily because I never imagined life in the Army. I didn’t want to go in the Army. I wanted to go in the Air Force and learn how to fly jets. I came home and thought about trying to lose the weight, but I really think the fear of leaving Chatham kept me from pursuing the weight loss whole-heartedly, so I never went back to the recruiter.

I’ve often wondered how life would have been different if I had joined the Air Force that day. I suppose we’ll never know.

A New Twist

After the Air Force debacle, I had resigned myself to spending a life-time in the hardware business. I had worked for my grandfather throughout high school and had continued on after marriage. It was a comfortable life. It had afforded my grandfather and grandmother a comfortable living, and I didn’t see much else on the horizon. I imagined that I would eventually take over the hardware business when my grandfather passed away, but alas, that was never to be.

It wasn’t too long before my uncle came to work at the hardware store. My grandfather, who had been in the grocery business for 40 years, built a new building to house the grocery business. When he built it, he brought my uncle and my dad into the family business and gave them an ownership interest in the grocery store. He kept the hardware business in the old grocery store and kept it as a separate company with himself as sole owner.

Well, my dad and my uncle couldn’t work together. They didn’t get along, so my dad chose to leave the business to pursue other interests. My uncle ended up the sole operator of the grocery business. It wasn’t too long until he found himself going through a divorce. Long story short, the grocery business was eventually sold and my uncle was working in the hardware business. It soon became apparent to me that I would not be the inheritor of the hardware store. I thought it best to pursue other opportunities for the good of my family.

My experience working in that business did give me the dream of owning my own business. Even as a young 19 – 20 year-old, I would read Inc. magazine, peruse the classified ads that were found in the back, and look for franchises that I might buy into and open in or around Chatham, LA. Funny thing is, I had no money and getting financing as a guy in his late-teens, early twenties wasn’t likely to happen (or I was too dumb to know how to make it happen), so they remained only dreams.

I eventually was offered an opportunity to go to work for the local sheriff as a deputy. I never imagined that in all my imagining, so I suppose there is some irony in that, as well. The position offered health insurance and retirement and we were pregnant with our first, so we decided it was the right step for us. I went to work for the sheriff in February of 1983.

Working for the local sheriff gave me an itching to go into politics. I thought I might parlay that job into an elected position within Jackson Parish, and I somewhat began working toward that end. 

A New Calling

Let me try to make a long story short. It was 1989, and a young, charismatic pastor was appointed to our church. I had (sort of) drifted away from church attendance at that point. After all, I worked most Sundays, and attendance was not a priority on the Sundays I was off, but this new young pastor started visiting me, and riding around with me when I was on patrol.

We spent a lot of time talking about life and church and meaning and purpose. I became more active, even attending revivals. The pastor held a tent revival on the back lot of the church parsonage, and there I was in attendance. It was at that revival that I first began to sense a call to ministry…probably as a result of all the conversations the pastor and I had on those long, late-night rides around the country-side.

That eventually led to my solo late-night experience in September of 1990 along May Road at Hickory Springs Church when I heard the audible voice of the Lord say, “Lynn, I’ve more than this for you.”

When I arrived home that evening (around 1 a.m.), trying to reflect on what happened, I turned on the TV thinking that would take my mind off of it. There were only three channels in those days (well, only three channels you could pick up on the TV in the country without cable). The ONLY channel that was still airing programming at 1 a.m., had on a TV evangelist (Robert Tilton). He looked straight into the camera and said, “There is someone listening to the this program right now, and the Lord has called you to ministry. You need to accept that calling.” True story

The next day, I was visiting with my pastor informing him that I thought God was calling me to ministry. Before I knew what happened, I was sitting in the District Superintendent’s office answering questions and beginning a journey towards vocational ministry. The rest, as they say, is history. There are a lot of good stories along the way, but suffice it to say, this was never anything I ever imagined. I guess God is funny that way.

After leaving vocational ministry, Vanessa and I eventually become small-business owners. I don’t know if that is life coming full circle and me ending up where I used to dream about ending up, or if the Lord was being gracious after 28 years of service in ministry.

All I know is that being a business owner was once a dream. Now it’s a reality. When I tell people that I’m living the dream, I actually mean it. Some days, though, that dream is a nightmare! Most days, it’s blessing, so I’ll try to be as grateful as possible.

So, I suppose that explains the answer to the question, “How has your life been different than you imagined?” can be answered in a both/and sort of way.

Until next time, keep looking up…

“Move over Moron!” and Other Random Thoughts…

/ pastorlynnmalone / 2 Comments

So, I did a Facebook post that probably needs a little context. I posted the following on Wednesday:

“Well, honestly if you told me when I woke up this morning that I would have two old ladies in my shop talking about selling vintage pornography on the internet, I would have called the white coats for you. I would have been wrong! 😳😲 Interesting what you can over hear when you’re working.”

Here’s the context for that post. Most of you know I run an oil change shop (click here for coupons). I tell folks I run an oil change shop to support my pastoring habit. I don’t currently have a cashier, so that means much of my time is spent acting as the cashier.

One of those times was Wednesday morning. A customer needed brakes on her vehicle. She is a regular customer (thank the Lord for those!) who runs a resale shop in Ruston. Not long after, another lady came in for an oil change and sat in the lobby while the service was performed.

It was obvious the two ladies knew each other. They exchanged pleasantries and began talking about their businesses. The second customer, I discovered in overhearing their conversation, frequents estate sales and yard sales and sells her discoveries on her eBay store.

As the conversation progressed, the first customer shared about her recent purchase of an estate from a man who had passed away who had old Playboy and Penthouse (no, I’m not linking that information on my blog!) magazines going back to the first copies. The other customer chimed in that she had, in fact, sold numerous vintage pornographic magazines on her eBay store, and that they were quite profitable.

The conversation continued for several minutes until I finally interjected, “I’m sorry, ladies, but not in a million years would I have thought that I would overhear two ladies discussing vintage pornography in my shop today.” They just laughed.

The disconcerting part is after laughing, they just continued their conversation. Apparently, one of them had received $150 for a particular copy of an old Playboy. For them, it was strictly business.

No, I didn’t reveal to the ladies that I am a pastor. Why should that even matter? Our language and conversation should always be such as to be pleasing and appropriate. I’m reminded of the Apostle Paul’s counsel to the Colossians and the Ephesians:

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer each person.” (Colossians 4:6); and

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).

Hey? If I wouldn’t talk about it in front of a pastor, I shouldn’t be talking about it all! That should be the standard for anyone seeking to be a faithful disciple of Jesus Christ.

I’m not begrudging the ladies for their conversation, nor is this a judgement upon them. They were conducting business. It was a purely transactional conversation. The broader conversation I should have introduced was one of faithful discipleship.

I should have asked if they were followers of Jesus. Failure number one! I should have asked if they thought selling pornography on the internet (vintage or otherwise) was an appropriate way for disciples to make a living? Failure number two! Failure number three is the one that really got to me, though.

What was failure number three? You had to ask, didn’t you?

I’m going to say it’s the construction’s fault (couldn’t be mine, right?). There is construction on I-20 between my shop and my home and I have to traverse it daily.

The construction company, as always, gives motorists plenty of opportunity to merge to one lane, but as is usually the case, there are morons who choose to pass a mile-long line of traffic and rush up to the merge point–thus causing the mile-long line of traffic to come to a complete stop just so they can merge into the line.

I hate it! Seriously, are you so important that a mile-long line of already slowly moving traffic has to stop so you can be a mile further down the road? How self-centered! How narcissistic! How moronic!

On Wednesday afternoon, after a long and tiring day, I’m stuck in the traffic. I look in my sideview mirror and here comes another moron buzzing past the line. I literally roll my window down and yell, “Move over, moron!” out the window.

No, the driver didn’t hear me (he was moving much too fast), but that’s not the point. The point is my speech and thought pattern were completely inappropriate to the occasion. I was convicted of James’ words in his letter to the church:

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless” (James 1:26).

So, here on the very same day that I’m questioning the conversation of two ladies, I find myself convicted of the same issue. Major fail!

Some pastor I turned out to be–of course, I’ve told you before there is a reason I named my blog nottheperfectpastor.com.

Yes, I’ve repented–for failing to have a deeper conversation with the ladies, for not watching my tongue (even if no one hears me) and for calling (or even thinking) anyone a moron.

I’m eternally grateful for the forgiveness of our sin through the precious shed blood of Jesus Christ. I’m grateful that He extends each of us grace in our failure, and provides us another chance (and another and another and another) to grow in our discipleship. He knows I’ve got a lot more growing to do. He knows because I’m not the perfect pastor. I’m not the perfect pastor because I’m not a perfect person.

Praise the Lord for grace!

Until next time, keep looking up…

Made for Work…

/ pastorlynnmalone / 1 Comment

I admit. I have a lazy streak. In my defense, I’m only lazy after I’ve been working. I’m like the lady that used to work for my grandmother who said, “When I work, I work hard. When I play, I play hard. When I sit, I go to sleep!”

Working is on my mind this morning because of the past few weeks I’ve had. Now that I’m pastoring a church again and running a business, my time off has been scarce. Vanessa and I took a few days away before beginning our new adventure in pastoring, but yesterday was my first day off in 20 days (but was it really a day off since I spent part of the day working on a sermon?).

The purpose of my writing is not to elicit your sympathy. It really is my way of trying to process my inability to find workers for my business. It makes me ask: “What has happened to the work ethic in our culture?”

Lessons in Futility

So, here’s a snapshot of my past month. I’ve been trying to fill a position in my shop for a couple of months now. I advertised for the position. Received a couple dozen applications (that’s a good thing). Spent some time processing those applications. Made a few decisions and began the process of interviewing people.

Called a guy in for a face-to-face interview. Went well. Checked his references. Again, went well. Called to make him an offer. Crickets!!! That’s right! Never returned my call. Emailed him. Crickets! No response. Time to move on…

Called another guy. Came for the interview. Went well. Checked references. Again, went well. Called and made an offer. Accepts offer. Start work on Monday. Monday comes. He’s a no-show! Make a call. Crickets. Email sent asking about the situation. Late on Monday I receive an email back that he’s sick and cant’ make it (he’ll start when he’s better–yeah, when will that be?). Okay, he can’t help it because he’s sick, but dude, you have a phone. Call somebody!

Schedule him to start the following Monday (surely he’ll be better by then). Monday comes and he shows up early. Hey! This is a good sign. Works Monday. Asks to take off early to finish a project he started before he took the job. Okay, sure. Tuesday comes. He’s a no-show! Calls that his truck is broke down. Okay, so he can’t help that, right?

Wednesday comes and he shows up–early again. Points earned. Works the morning. Goes to lunch. Never returns! Haven’t heard a word from him. No call. No email. Crickets. Odd thing is I owe him money for the day and a half he worked. Go figure.

Call another guy in for an interview. 10:00 a.m., Friday? Great! See you then. Friday comes. No guy.

Call another guy. 10:00 a.m., Friday (yes, another Friday)? Great! See you then. Friday comes. No guy.

I’m starting to develop a complex. Is it me? Am I not doing something right? It must be me, right?

Then, I think, “It’s really not me, it’s the world in which we live these days.”

I say that because I’ve got another job posting, as well. I’ve received a couple of dozen applications for that position, too.

I provide a link to every applicant who submits an application on-line to a personality assessment. For every person who actually takes the time to complete the assessment, I set up a phone screen interview. I did that for three applicants who completed the assessment. I call. No response. Three different people, three no answers. I leave messages. Still…I’ve never heard back from a single person.

Bummer! And, I’m still two people short on staff.

Lessons for My Life

I don’t know. Perhaps they’ve found other employment and don’t have the courtesy to call and withdraw their name from consideration. Perhaps they’re just checking boxes on a form so they can continue drawing their unemployment. Perhaps they just reconsidered and decided a job in the quick lube industry isn’t for them.

Okay! No problem. How about a little consideration. Have we lost that with our work ethic, too? Do I blame it on Covid? Or, have I just been walking around all my life with blinders on and didn’t realize that’s how it goes with the job market because I’ve never been in business for myself before now?

Whatever it is, it’s very frustrating…and I guess I’m taking my frustration via this blog. I am, however, reminded of Genesis 2:15–

“The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.“

The good Lord created us for work. Our work is meant to be an offering of worship to the Lord. I’m wondering if our world might be so upside down because no one wants to work anymore. And, don’t get me started on the government and give-aways. Lord, have mercy…

I’m also reminded of this little passage in the Apostle Paul’s second letter to the Thessalonians:

9 We certainly had the right to ask you to feed us, but we wanted to give you an example to follow. 10 Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: “Those unwilling to work will not get to eat.” 11 Yet we hear that some of you are living idle lives, refusing to work and meddling in other people’s business. 12 We command such people and urge them in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and work to earn their own living. 13 As for the rest of you, dear brothers and sisters, never get tired of doing good.

So, I’m finding some solace in the fact that it’s not actually a new problem. I guess it’s as old as we humans are.

I could launch into an entire diatribe on the benefits of work, but the blog is long enough already and I’ve got to get ready for work. But, work today is worship (and to lead worship). Then again, work is meant to be worship everyday, but I’ve already been down that road this morning.

So, get up and go to work. It is what we’re made for.

Until next time, keep looking up…

It’s Harvest Time (or, Starting with “Why?”, Part 4)…

/ pastorlynnmalone / 5 Comments

Let’s be frank. House church (organic church, simple church) is countercultural for us folks in the United States (most of the west, really). I’m okay with that, though, because if there was ever a time the Church needed to be countercultural, it is now.

Since I’m being frank, let me also say that if you should attend a house church, you’re not likely to find the music to be excellent (although if you come to the House Church Movement, you’ll find my daughter leading us with excellence), the preaching and/or teaching may not be as polished as one is accustomed to, and the youth/children’s program will be unspectacular.

These reasons (and probably a few more) are why there isn’t more house church focused church planting movements in the west. We like our high-energy music, our polished preaching and those youth/children’s ministries that are going to do for children what parents are so unwilling (or unable) to do for themselves. House church for too many people will lack the glitz and glamour that will reach a consumer culture.

That fact notwithstanding, I believe the house church model of church planting is perfectly poised to reach new fields that are ripe for harvest. The house church planting model is designed to be “close to the ground,” as in, rooted in relationships with neighbors and co-workers, high on interpersonal relationships, ingrained in the rhythm of the community, not restricted by money or funding and is simple in its administration.

Additionally, Covid-19 has changed the landscape of traditional church. By all accounts, most traditional churches are averaging 30 – 50% of pre-Covid attendance. Those churches that see a higher percentage are outliers. Based on what I’ve read, and conversations I’ve had with pastors, those percentages are not likely to change drastically for the foreseeable future. That’s because half the people believe the church shouldn’t be meeting yet, and the other half of the people believe the church should have never stopped.

The opportunity that exists for the house church in this environment is that the church can be where the people are. The new context is simply more conducive to the house church. The house church can meet in closed communities. The house church can meet in large apartment complexes. The house church can meet in dense urban areas where the cost of living (and the cost of property) is expensive. The house church can meet in college dorms. The house church can meet in places where the government has restricted public worship gatherings (it sure feels strange to write that sentence as I sit in the United States!). The house church can meet wherever there is a home and a facilitator.

For all these reasons, the house church model can revive an evangelistic zeal in the Kingdom of God for the west. Consider for a moment the rapid growth of the early church. Between Pentecost and 70 AD the church experienced the most phenomenal growth in its history, spreading from a mere handful of believers in Judea throughout the Mediterranean world. Most scholars agree that this growth was accomplished using private homes as the primary meeting place.

Consider, also, the following mathematical potential for a ministry such as The House Church Movement. Beginning with a single home congregation with an average membership of twelve people, allow for that one group to reproduce itself in the form of a second group after two years. Then, allow for each of those groups to reproduce during the next two years—and so on. Allowing for growth and loss within each group, yet maintaining the group average of only twelve members (a conservative estimate of group size), after 6 years, The House Church Movement would have 96 members. After 12 years, The Movement would have 768 members. After 15 years, it would consist of 2,304 members. After 18 years, 6,912 members. After 20 years, the overall membership of The House Church Movement would be 13,824!

Please understand, I hold no illusion that The House Church Movement will ever boast a membership of nearly 14,000 people. I simply offer these projections as a way of showing that this philosophy of ministry and evangelism has potential equal to, if not greater than more traditional models.

Please don’t think I’m trying to sell everyone on the house church model or The House Church Movement. I’ll admit that it’s even hard for me to move away from the traditional church model of ministry, but I feel called to this model and to this Movement because I believe that house churches take place where harvest happens–in the neighborhoods, in the work places and in the homes of both those who believe and those who do not.

Until next time, keep looking up…

The Controllables…

/ pastorlynnmalone / 1 Comment

nintendo controlLooks like we’re in this thing for the long haul (or at least until April 30th) so I suppose we just have to settle in and adjust to the “new normal.” I’ve heard and read that phrase many times since March 13th when President Trump issued the national emergency in light of the Coronavirus. I must say that I don’t like that phrase because there is nothing normal about the situation in our nation and in the world. I think it is an acquiescence to the fear that is in us to accept this “new” normal. What we are living in is abnormal, and I, for one, will be fighting with all that is in me to get things back to normal when we finally “flatten the curve” on this virus.

But, what do we do in the meantime? For as many times as I’ve heard or read “new normal,” I’ve also heard or read some pundit or article giving advice about living in the meantime. If there’s one thing I’ve discovered during this pandemic, it’s that everyone fancies him/herself an expert. I’ve seen or read a lot of non-medical personnel offering “expert” advice on medical issues. I’ve seen or heard a lot of non-financial folks giving financial advice. I’ve gotten a ton of emails and seen a boatload of promoted posts on social media from “life coaches” trolling for new clients offering their services in the face of the pandemic–they’re all experts, too!

Well, I figured that I’m an expert in my opinion, so that should qualify me as an expert. With that in mind, let me offer my expert opinion on how we live in the meantime. It’s really simple advice, but I’ve found it incredibly helpful to me personally. The advice is simply this–focus on the things you can control.

There are so many things that are out of our control during this time. Rather than spend time focusing on those things, why not focus on that which we can control? Just makes sense to me. It was best expressed in a meme I saw on Facebook:Important Control

I’ve decided that I’m focusing my time and effort on the important things that I can control, and as the meme points out, that’s a rather small area. So, what are those important things that I can control?

Control My Inputs

First, I can control my inputs. One thing we can’t control is the amount of time we have to spend at home. What I can control is how much time I spend in front of the television streaming Netflix or Amazon Prime. Certainly, streaming services have changed the way we watch television, but there’s no mandate that we have to sit and binge watch the entire series of Tiger King, Ozark or Narcos Mexico. After watching the entire season 2 of Narcos Mexico in the first week of the “stay-at-home” order, I discovered my mind becoming mush.

I can also control how much news I watch. Let’s not forget, folks, that CNN, MSNBC and Fox News are more opinion than news these days, and each has its own pundits who are driven more by agendas than basic facts. They’re also driven by advertising dollars, and they’ll do whatever they can to gain viewers. Fear sells, friends, and I can’t help but wonder if we’re buying too much of what they are selling, and it’s destroying us from the inside out. Rather than spending six hours watching news channels, why not watch President Trump’s press conference, your governor’s press conference and your local news, then make up your own mind about the facts?

Control My Attitude

Second, I can control my attitude. I can’t control the fact that “experts” base their models on “worst case” scenarios, and those scenarios are what get reported (see fear selling above) in the media, but I don’t have to succumb to the fear those reports often generate. I can choose to be fearful, or I can choose to be hopeful. After all, aren’t we who follow Jesus Christ, supposed to be the most hopeful of people? What does it say to a fearful world when the world see us reflecting the same fear?

I can choose anxiety, or I can choose peace. Part of my family was gathered last Sunday (we had already been around each other, so don’t judge!), and in our time together I shared a passage from John’s Gospel:

32 “A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.

33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16: 32- 33 (NIV)

I wanted my family to know that though we may be separated for a time that we are never alone, and that should bring us peace. So, I’ll choose peace because I can control that choice.

Control My Actions

Finally, I can control my actions. I can’t control when someone treats me rudely in the grocery store for getting too close to them, but I can control how I respond when they do act rudely. Of course, it helps to remind myself that when someone lashes out because I violated the six foot rule or didn’t wear a mask, that they are reacting in fear, and that their actions are a reflection of their character, not mine. What I can control is whether I respond rudely or with an apology. I pray my character would lead me to respond with an apology, and to be more aware of others around me.

I also can’t control what someone posts on social media, but I’ve come to learn that I don’t have to respond to every idiot on social media. It breaks my heart that followers of Jesus are often so blatant in calling one another out on social media. Have a different opinion than another sister or brother in Christ? Fine. Rather than offer your alternative opinion in an often condescending way, why not simply post your own thoughts in a separate post without mentioning names? And, if the disagreement is sufficiently pronounced, why not message the person directly, or better yet, pick up the phone and call them. It is not a helpful witness to the world for them to see us fighting among ourselves.

So, I’m just going to focus on the controllables in my life. I don’t think “controllables” is a word, but it sounds good to me. I can control my inputs, my attitude and my actions. They’re all incredibly important, and can make the difference in how I endure the uncontrollable nature of the coronavirus.

Until next time, keep looking up…

This Fruit is Always in Season…

/ pastorlynnmalone / 2 Comments

I’ve been teaching from A Firm Foundation: Hope and Vision for a New Methodist Future on Wednesday evenings. The book is a collection of essays designed to cast a compelling vision for a renewed Methodist movement, specifically in light of the current debate within the United Methodist Church.

I bring the book up only because of the chapter I read/taught last week–“When the Holy Spirit Comes with Fire.” I won’t unpack the chapter here for you, but reading the chapter and preparing to lead the Wednesday night group caused me to dig deeper on the Holy Spirit. My digging reminded me of much I had forgotten (okay, not forgotten, but taken for granted) about the work and power of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

My digging deeper took me specifically to the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Galatian Christians. In Galatians 5, Paul instructs the Galatians on living the Spirit-filled life (read the whole chapter here), and in that context he offers his list of he calls the “fruit of the Spirit.” You know the list, right?

22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

I’ll confess my own conviction as I read that list again (I’ve probably read it one thousand times before). I was convicted because there was one noticeable fruit that I can acknowledge has been absent from my life, and I believe the fact that I’ve been consumed with General Conference 2019 has put me in this place. The missing fruit, you ask? Joy!

We are, by the presence of the Holy Spirit, supposed to be joy-filled people.  One of my favorite stories about a person with a grumpy personality begins with a man going into the doctor’s office.  As he walked in, he was met by the receptionist.  He told her that he had a sore on his chin that he wanted the doctor to examine.

She said to him, “Down the hall, first door to the right, and take off your clothes.”

“But ma’am,” he said, “it’s just a sore on my chin. I don’t think all that is necessary.”

She repeated, “Down the hall, first door to the right, and take off your clothes.”

“But ma’am,” he said.

“Down the hall, first door to the right, and take off your clothes.”

So he went down the hall, took the first door to the right, walked in and saw another man already sitting there in his boxer shorts, shivering. He said to him, “Boy, that receptionist is really something, isn’t she? I just have a little sore on my chin and she told me to come down here, go through this door and take off my clothes.”

The man in the boxer shorts said, “You think that’s bad? I’m the UPS delivery man.”

There a lot of days recently that I felt like that nurse. But, joy is supposed to be one of the fruits that is always in season in the Christian.

What is this fruit of joy? The Greek word is chara, meaning “cheerfulness, calm delight.”  Unfortunately, I confuse joy with happiness. If I’m happy, then I am joy-filled, and if I’m joy-filled then I’m happy. That is incorrect. Joy is not happiness, and happiness is not joy. Actually, I can be happy and full of joy, but I can be unhappy and still be full of joy. Happiness is external. Joy, in the biblical sense, is internal. Happiness is based on chance. Joy is based on choice. Happiness is based on circumstances. Joy is based on Christ. Happiness is too often conditioned on what is “happening” to me. If people treat me well, and things are going good around me, then I am happy, but if things go wrong then my happiness is likely to be as fleeting as my circumstances.

Joy, however, goes beyond my circumstances. Joy throbs throughout Scripture as a profound, compelling quality of life that transcends the events and disasters which may dog God’s people. Joy is a divine dimension of living that is not shackled by circumstances. The Hebrew word means, “to leap or spin around with pleasure.”  Listen to the Psalmist:

16 But as for me, I will sing about your power.
    Each morning I will sing with joy about your unfailing love.
For you have been my refuge,
    a place of safety when I am in distress. Psalm 59: 16

The Apostle Paul understood this, too. He wrote to the Corinthian Christians: Our hearts ache, but we always have joy (2 Cor. 6:10). Joy should never be dependent on what is happening around us. Too often, unsatisfied expectations, unresolved conflict (like we have in the UMC right now), or unconfessed sin can serve to steal our joy from life. These are just three reasons that joy seems such an elusive fruit.

But there’s hope!  And that hope is spelled J-O-Y! I was reminded of this pattern on a church sign not far from my house. I think it’s really what solidified the message I’ve reflected on over the past couple of weeks. It is Jesus, Others, and You. Joy starts with a relationship with Jesus Christ. Jesus is the source of our joy, and Jesus is the example of our joy. If we don’t know Jesus, we don’t know joy. If we know Jesus, we should know joy.

Then, others. If we’re serious about desiring to bear the fruit of joy, we must make sure we are doing OK on the horizontal dimension of life by living in biblical community with others. We will never know joy apart from others.

Finally, you. You have the challenge, and here it is: Go to church, get connected to Jesus and serve others. You’ll find joy in great abundance, and you’ll discover that the  fruit of joy is always in season.

Until next time, keep looking up…

The Lost Grace…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

CHRISTIAN CONFERENCE

John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist movement, in his writings and teachings noted what he called the “means of grace.” By “means of grace,” Wesley meant those practices whereby the disciple of Jesus Christ could experience the grace of God in life-transforming ways. Wesley would say, “Do these practices on a regular basis, and watch the work of the Holy Spirit change you.” That’s the popular Lynn Malone paraphrase but you get the idea. Wesley would distinguish between what he termed the “instituted” means and the “ordinary” means by allowing that the “instituted” means were those given to the body of Christ directly by Jesus himself. Among those “instituted” means of grace were prayer, fasting, searching the Scriptures (we’d call that Bible study) and the Lord’s Supper (Holy Communion), but he also lists a fifth that we’ve lost sight of in the 21st century. He called it “Christian conference.”

We hear “Christian conference,” and we think about going to a big gathering of Christians to hear preaching and teaching, worship and the like—think Promise Keeper’s or Women of Faith. Or, if we’re a good Methodist, we think about going to Annual Conference, which is the yearly gathering of Methodists from across the state where we worship and fellowship and conduct the business of the “Annual Conference,” which (for those of you not familiar with the Methodist tradition) is an institution in and of itself. None of those thoughts were on Wesley’s mind as he taught the practice of “Christian conference.” For Wesley, Christian Conference was honest, direct, piercing conversation with other Christians that was intended to help the participants grow in holiness.

GRACE LOST

Why don’t we practice this habit more often, or at all? One reason is that we desire comfort and seek to avoid conflict. Confrontation is awkward, messy, and hard, so few do it. Additionally, churches and spiritual communities are intentional about creating a sense of peace, encouragement, happiness, and joy even if it’s a façade. Identifying sin, exposing immorality, admitting the truth, uncovering corruption, and acknowledging failure contradict the image many churches are trying to portray. Following Jesus was never meant to be comfortable or easy. To live a holy life requires accountability.

In a society obsessed with self-gratification, pleasure, and comfort, churches too easily succumb to an attitude of appeasement instead of responsibility and intervention. Unchecked sin causes havoc and devastation. And while accountability can be misused, not using it at all can cause widespread harm. Accountability goes both ways and isn’t exclusively meant for pastors or those in leadership to punish those “beneath” them. Everyone is responsible. Often it’s those in leadership who need accountability the most.

Another reason we don’t develop the habit of accountability is because we live in a culture of unlimited options and choices. The next sentence is going to hurt me more than it hurts you, but it is going to hurt, so prepare yourself. Churches (and pastors) emphasize comfort because discomfort causes people to leave congregations. There, I said it! In a world inundated with options, where endless venues vie to satisfy our every need, churches are no different, and if Christians become uncomfortable, upset or discouraged, they can simply pack up and go someplace else, and many of them do. It’s easier for a church to make everyone feel good, but it often comes at the cost of spiritual maturity.

Jesus faced the same problem, too. John’s Gospel records an incident in chapter six. Jesus had fed five thousand and walked on water. The next day, the crowds clamored to be around him. Jesus figured it was time for a little accountability, so he told them, “You just wanted me for what I could do for you. Don’t worry so much about what I can provide for you, but focus on the eternal matters of life” (John 6: 26 – 27). It turned out to be one of the most difficult conversations Jesus had with those who followed him as he tried to explain that He was the bread of life. The people began arguing among themselves, and when all was said and done, we find a revealing little passage in John 6:66—“At this point, many of his disciples turned away and deserted him.” Difficult conversations cause discomfort, and with so many options, we choose not to be uncomfortable.

There is a danger in developing the habit of accountability, though, and that danger is another reason we don’t practice it much anymore. The danger is legalism. Sadly, many churches, both past and present, have wrongly implemented “accountability” to serve their own agendas. There are numerous accounts of using guilt, shame, fear, embarrassment, and terror to manipulate, abuse, control, hurt, and destroy the lives of countless victims. Church history has been stained by varying degrees of legalism, and today’s churches will do anything to avoid such labels, even if it means abandoning the practice of accountability altogether. It is sad that we throw the baby out with the bathwater.

REDISCOVERING GRACE

The Apostle Paul encouraged the Galatian church to hold each other accountable, and reminded them of how to do it. Paul said that we should “gently” help a fellow traveler back on the path so that we don’t fall into the same ditch. The loss of accountability can lead to believers who are susceptible to self-righteousness and spiritual immaturity. Ironically, it can also result in Christians who are more judgmental towards those outside the faith. Instead of holding ourselves accountable, it’s much easier to point the finger at the rest of society, and to be the accuser instead of the accused. To avoid our own sins, we often distract ourselves by focusing on the sins of others.

Our challenge is to responsibly develop the habit of accountability without abusing it, to gracefully and lovingly help people grow in their faith without being legalistic or abusive or accusatory, to challenge and inspire people through relational support and encouragement instead of abandoning and isolating them. The grace of accountability is about building up, not tearing down. The grace in accountability is about encouragement, not discouragement. The grace in accountability is for prayer together and prayer for one another—it is, as Paul reminds the Galatians, about bearing one another’s burdens.

John Wesley would agree. In what are called Wesley’s “Large Minutes,” he writes in reference to Christian Conference: “Are we convinced how important and how difficult it is to order our conversation right? It is always in grace? Seasoned with salt? Meet to minister grace to the hearers?” For Wesley, it was always about building up the body—to help each other live holy lives.

Living holy lives is the end game. It’s not about church growth, it’s about spiritual growth. The church is the place we learn to practice the habits that promote spiritual growth that we can then take back to work, to school, home and to our communities so that God’s transformation takes place, not only in us, but in the world around us.

How do I begin to develop this habit, and discover its grace? It’s all about relationship! Transformation takes place in relationship—a relationship with Jesus Christ and a relationship with others who walk the journey. The imagery Paul uses in Galatians 6 of another believer being “overcome” by some sin, the language literally is of one who has slipped—like on an icy sidewalk, or on an uneven path. No one plans to slip on an icy sidewalk. No one plans a misstep on that path, but it happens, even when we’re being careful. Yes, we can many times pick ourselves up, but when someone else is there to help us, it makes it easier. Yes, it’s embarrassing to slip on that icy patch. We look around to see if anyone saw us, and we even try to resist the efforts of others who come along to help us. Paul’s point is we need someone to help us when we stumble over sin in our lives.

Wesley’s genius was his organization of converts into societies, classes and bands. Think congregation, small group, smaller group here. For early Methodists, these accountable relationships happened in the class meetings. Classes were groups of 10-12 persons who met weekly and focused on the details of individual’s lives, where they were experiencing God and growing in faith and holiness, and where they were not experiencing God or failing to grow in faith and holiness. They asked one simple question: “How is your life in God?” It was, in all its facets, a means of developing the habit of accountability, and for Wesley, it was grace.

Accountability can be grace to us, too, when we find a group, or even a person where we can ask and be asked the question, “How is your life in God?”

Don’t have a group? Ask your pastor. Or, ask me. I’ll be glad to help.

Until next time, keep looking up…