Getting old

Suffering Fools…(and other advice for people my age)

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

I haven’t written much lately. I’ve just been too busy. If I’d known that at age 62 I’d be working seven days a week, I might have rethought some things or done some better planning. This is the time of life that one is supposed to be winding down, not ramping up, but ramp up I have, so…

Honestly, what I’ve been reflecting on over the last several weeks is my own mortality. I suppose that’s what we old people do. I don’t really know. I’ve never been old before. It’s kinda’ funny because I don’t really feel old, well except in the morning when I get up, and at night when I go to bed, and the three times during the night (sorry, too much information!)…

I get a lot of windshield time every week (it’s an 80-mile round trip to work). That windshield time is when I do a lot of praying and a lot of thinking. As I’ve been praying and thinking lately, I’ve hit upon several things that I’ve decided I’m not going to do anymore. It simply, at age 62, doesn’t make sense to me to do these things. I thought I’d share them with you, so here goes…

The Five Things I’m Not Going to Do Anymore at My Age

1. Suffer Fools

Yes, I know the Apostle Paul says that we are to “suffer fools gladly” (2 Cor. 11:19), but I also think it was in one of his sarcastic moments that he said it.

The reality is at this age, time is too precious to waste on foolish people. You know the ones I’m talking about–the ones that always only talk about themselves, that think they are the center of the world, that think they’re always right (or that you are always wrong), that are always argumentative, that are always demanding something of others that they don’t offer themselves.

I’m not going to be confrontational. I’m simply going to step away. Peace these days is more important than winning an argument or proving someone wrong, or even calling out foolishness. Honestly, there will have to be a strong urging on the part of the Holy Spirit for me to engage past the surface level of pleasantries before moving on.

2. Care What Other People Think

Okay, so confession time. I spent a lot of time in my past caring what other people thought of me. Perhaps it’s the middle child syndrome that captured me, but I used to cultivate a certain appearance because I thought it was what people expected of me. One of my most important characteristics was trying to meet others expectations, and it all had to do with what they might think about me otherwise.

Yeah, well now that I’m in my 60’s, I’m done with that. Why? Honestly? Because they’re NOT thinking about me! They’re too busy focused on their own lives and worried about their own problems to be worried about me. I suppose it took me all these years to figure that out.

Two passages of scripture come to mind: First is Proverbs 29:25–“It is dangerous to be concerned with what other people think of you, but if you trust in the Lord, you are safe.” And, the Apostle Paul warns the Galatian Christians, “For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10).

I only care what Christ thinks of me. Will he find me faithful? Oh! And, Vanessa. I care what she thinks of me. Everyone else? Eh!

3. Compare Myself to Others

This third “not-going-to-do” thing is closely related to the second one, but I do believe it stands on its own. I used to compare myself to other preachers. I used to compare my church to other churches. I used to measure my success by the success of others.

Dang! This is more confessional than I thought it would be when I started writing this list down.

Now that I’m in my 60’s, the race is about over. Life is not a competition that I need to win. Hey? If I haven’t won by now, I’m not likely to this late in the game. Of course, it all depends on how one defines winning.

There will always be someone who is better, richer, stronger, younger, better looking (well, maybe not!) than I am. But, I have no way of knowing what is going on in their lives. Their lives could all be a facade. Besides, some wise sage once said, “Comparison destroys contentment.” That sage was correct.

As I think about winning the race, I am reminded of what the writer to the Hebrews wrote to the Church: “let us run with endurance the race God has set before us” (Hebrews 12:1b). Life is not a race that we are in to win. Life is a race we are in simply to finish, and Christ calls us to run with patient endurance all the way to the end.

How do we do that? The writer to the Hebrews tells us that, too: “We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith” (Hebrews 12:2a). At this age, I just want to be more like Jesus. He’s the only one I’m going to compare myself to because the goal of every believer’s life is to be Christ-like. How do I measure up in that regard?

4. Chase Old Goals

This one is tricky, but let me try to explain it. It used to be that I was extremely goal-oriented, chasing the great job, the big church, moving up the corporate ladder (yes, the church has one of those). For the most part, I achieved all those goals.

The Lord, for some strange reason, chose to bless us beyond measure (He still does, too), and ministry was very good to us. I only hope the ministry He entrusted to me was fruitful, and that all the chasing of those goals was not at the expense of faithfulness.

Now that I’m 62, I can say, “Been there, done that!” And, though I found meaning in the moment, looking back over my life, they just don’t seem that important. What are my new goals? Faithfulness to Jesus and a legacy for my family. Everything I do will be oriented to one of those ends.

I don’t want to come to the end of the race only to hear my Savior say, “Depart from me, you who practice iniquity, for I never knew you” (Matt. 7:23). The longing of my heart is to enter His presence and hear “‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord’” (Matt. 25:23).

Yup! That should have been my goal all along. It’s a pity it took me getting to be an old man to figure it out. Praise God I did!

5. Ignore My Health

Man! This one has really hit home over the past year. I went 61 years of my life without medication other than the occasional antibiotic or over-the-counter cold medicine. Now, I’m making regular trips to the pharmacy to keep the medicine cabinet full.

I think most of the issues I’m dealing with are hereditary, but let’s just say I’ve not always been the healthiest guy in the world. Yes, back in 2008 – 2009, I went through a period of weight-loss and health improvement, but it was done with chasing those goals I mentioned earlier in mind. I wanted to look better and feel better so I would have a better chance of hitting those goals.

Now, the goal is to be healthy so I can live longer. I know! None of us are going to live forever, but I would like to at least outlive my dad (who died at 63!). There are still some health-related things I need to deal with, but one thing I have done is take off 25 of the pounds I put back on post-2009. Now, I’ve got a closet full of clothes that are too big! Do not take that as a complaint.

My goal is to have the energy to do the things Vanessa and I should be doing now that we’re at this age. A little travel and a lot of family takes a lot of energy. Healthy lives lend themselves to quality lives. I won’t be ignoring my health nor taking it for granted anymore.

Conclusion

So, there you have the five things I’m not going to do anymore. Perhaps I should have cast them in a more positive light and said “The Five Things I’ve Started Doing at My Age,” but I’m a glass half empty kind of guy (which I should probably stop being at this age), so what ya’ gonna’ do? There may be a few tricks old dogs really can’t learn.

I do, however, believe that I don’t have to suffer fools, nor do I have to care what other people think, nor compare myself to others, nor chase all the old goals I set in life. I also believe that I can no longer ignore my health if I want to have fruitful years ahead.

How about you? Are there any things you’re not doing now that you’re older? Or if you’re one of those “younger” folks still out there chasing dreams, is there anything on this list that struck a nerve? I’d love to hear back from any of you. Leave your comments below.

Until next time (whenever that might be), keep looking up…

No Longer a Fan…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

I know. I’m old! I’m not sure how I got so old so fast, but here I am and there’s nothing I can do about it. One of the things that’s happened to me as I’ve gotten older is that my likes and dislikes have changed.

Example: I used to love football…and the New Orleans Saints in particular. Yes, La. Tech and LSU were close seconds, but man, those Saints. Even back in the day I would wear the paper bag and yet it didn’t deter me from my love for the black and gold. I lived in constant expectation of “next year.”

Back in the day, Vanessa would leave me home alone on Sunday afternoon if the Saints were playing. She didn’t want to listen to me whoop, holler and shout. I’d whoop, holler and shout if things went well and I’d moan, whine and complain when things didn’t go well (if you’re a Saints fan, you know that was most of the time). It really could be a spectacle at times.

Then, Facebook came along. I soon discovered that Facebook was the new way to watch football with friends. I’d share my comments about the game in real-time and friends would respond and it added to the fun of football, both professional and college.

Now, I really couldn’t care less. It’s just not fun anymore. My love for professional football in general and the Saints in particular really begin its decline after 2020 with BLM and Covid. Sports (not just football) became too political (which is really strange since I’m kind of a political junkie).

I suppose sports was one of the few places a person could go to get away from all the politics, where Democrats, Republicans and Independents could share the joys (or travails) of their favorite team for three hours on a Sunday afternoon. For three hours on a Sunday afternoon, we were united. Yeah, well that changed, and I think it changed me a little, too.

But, it’s probably just because I’m old now. I used to laugh at the old men who sat around the gas stove at Malone’s Hardware complaining about the state of the world. I no longer laugh now because I’ve become one of those old men and I now know why they complained so much and spoke as they did.

I am them and I think it has affected my love for football. Of course, it could be that sports have changed so dramatically in recent years, too. I’d prefer to say it’s that, but I suspect it’s really just that I’m old.

How has it changed? Well, for starters, there’s the money thing. I mean, really, a fan can’t afford to go to a professional game anymore (yeah, people do, but can they really afford it?). I wanted to take my sons, son-in-law and grandsons to see the Saints and the Cowboys. It was going to cost me over $1,000, and that was for standing room only and DID NOT include parking or food! We didn’t go!

Full disclosure: I did purchase four tickets (and no, I didn’t spend $1,000), but as the day approached I just didn’t feel like driving to Dallas, standing through a three hour game and then driving back home. That’s because I’m old! My two oldest grandsons utilized the tickets, so it wasn’t a total loss.

It’s the same with college sports, too. I suppose it really changed for me when NIL became a thing. Now, for the players, it’s all about the Benjamins. I don’t blame them. Get it while you can, I guess, but there’s no loyalty anymore. You never know who is going to be on the team anymore. The teams with the richest alumni can stock their teams with the finest players and claim the championships. These days there are 25 year-olds who have “eligibility” playing college football. Go figure!

I guess I’m just old and I don’t really care anymore. Seriously, I didn’t even watch all of the LSU game last night. I’d rather go to sleep. Besides, I’ve discovered (because things have changed) that I can watch a three hour game in 20 minutes on YouTube the next day. No big deal last night, though. LSU got spanked. You know what that means? It means I didn’t stay up late for nothing and I didn’t go to sleep frustrated, so there’s that.

Yeah, I still watch football, but only when I don’t have anything else I’d rather be doing (like sleeping). Yes, I’ll occasionally comment something on Facebook but I do so only to see if I can wrinkle a few feathers of fan friends. The reality is, though, if I never watched another game, I’d probably be okay with it.

The games I want to see these days? The ones my grandchildren are playing in, and only because my grandchildren are playing in them. I LOVE to see my grandchildren do anything. Because I’m old, I now know why they call them GRANDchildren. Everything about them is grand. I’ve told my children that if I had known grandchildren were this much fun, I would have skipped them and went straight to the grandchildren. You know what? You have to be old to realize that.

So, I’m grateful for getting old even if I don’t like some of the changes that happen when we get old. When I was young, we were told in ministry that we needed to keep working on our “growing edges.” Well, now that I’m older, I have to keep working on those “growing edges.” Those growing edges are just different now.

Let’s face it. The Lord still has a lot of work to do on me and in me, it’s just in different places these days. Will He ever be finished? One day, perhaps He will. After all, I’m a Wesleyan and I believe in the process of sanctification. It is a life-long endeavor. But, you have to get old to realize that.

Thank God for getting old!

Until next time, keep looking up…