Call to Ministry

Answer the Call…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

Here I sit in the cold. The ice is covering the ground. My truck is iced in and the roads are impassable. There will be no gathering of the body of Christ at Haughton Methodist Church because no one can get there. Even so, we will worship. Worship is not limited to the gathering of the body of Christ, though it is best when the body is gathered.

I thank the Lord that I still have electricity. There are many in the region who are not as blessed. That will be my starting place for worship this morning. That I still have electricity makes it possible for me to post a blog this morning. I suppose writing is a mode of worship, as well.

I’m reflecting this morning on the lectionary passage for the third Sunday after the Epiphany (that’s today!) as part of my worship.

12 When Jesus heard that John had been put in prison, he withdrew to Galilee.13 Leaving Nazareth, he went and lived in Capernaum, which was by the lake in the area of Zebulun and Naphtali— 14 to fulfill what was said through the prophet Isaiah:

15 “Land of Zebulun and land of Naphtali,
    the Way of the Sea, beyond the Jordan,
    Galilee of the Gentiles—
16 the people living in darkness
    have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
    a light has dawned.”

17 From that time on Jesus began to preach, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.”

18 As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 19 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.”20 At once they left their nets and followed him.

21 Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, 22 and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.

23 Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people. (Matthew 4:12-23 NIV)

Rich stuff, right there! Prophecy. Healings and miracles. Repentance. Wow! What grabs my attention most this morning is “calling.” I see three distinct callings in this passage: the call to faith, the call to discipleship, and the call to ministry.

The Call to Faith    

By Matthew’s account, this is the beginning of Jesus’ ministry. He’s been baptized by John and led into the wilderness to be tempted for forty days by Satan. He gets the news that John the Baptist has been arrested, so he heads back to civilization to begin his ministry. It is as Jesus begins his ministry that I find the first calling on a person’s life—the call to faith.

The call to faith is the call to change our mind, and it is the call that all of us, at some point, must answer. Literally, Jesus’ first word in ministry in verse 17 is “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.”

The New Living Translation says, “Turn from your sin and turn to God.”  That is the translator’s interpretation of the meaning of repent. The word means “to change your mind,” and Jesus begins ministry with the call for everyone who hears his voice to change his/her mind. It is a call to turn from sin. It is a call to turn from unbelief to belief. It is a call to turn from death to life.

It’s not vogue to talk about sin. After all, we’re all sinners, and we’re not supposed to judge, and if we talk about sin, we might get too close to judging and we’re good Methodists, so we don’t want to do that. Of course, the alternative is also a possibility. We don’t really think we’re sinners. Culture and modern psychology teach us that we’re good people. It’s the “I’m okay, you’re okay” mentality that makes us say we don’t need to repent…we don’t need faith. Or, we think we’re not as bad a sinner as someone else.

When we think of sin, we think of the Big 10—murder, stealing, lying, adultery, covetousness, those types of things. Or, we think rape, or child abuse, or some other crime that’s easy to acknowledge is wrong. Mass shooters and child rapists? Yup, they are sinners. Me? Naw, I’m not a sinner. I’m a (wait for it…) good person!

Sin, though, as the Bible defines it is anything that misses the mark. That’s what the word means—missing the mark. That image should never diminish the seriousness of sin because the reality is there was a mark and we missed it. We miss the mark in so many areas of our everyday life. Surely, we’re not murdering, or stealing, or lying (at least I hope we’re not), but what about the small things that also reflect on our character?

I think about what our Catholic brothers and sisters have called the seven deadly sins—greed, gluttony, pride, anger, lust, sloth, and envy. The belief is that at the heart of all sin lies one of these. I can think of the times in my life I’ve been greedy, and let’s not even get into gluttony knowing how much I love to eat. I could do my own bullet list for each of these, and I come to realize that even still, I’m one who needs to repent as a matter of faith.

Repentance opens us to grace that God desires to pour into our lives. Repentance is our acknowledgement that something is wrong, that something needs to change. I don’t believe any of us can watch the situation in Minneapolis without thinking there must be something wrong with the world–I don’t care what side of the political aisle you’re on.

We must all answer the call of Jesus to turn from our selfish, sinful ways, to consider the claims that Christ makes, and determine whether we will believe, or continue to go down a path that is ultimately destructive to us and those around us. It’s a call everyone must answer.

Just an FYI…refusing to answer is an answer.

The Call to Discipleship

I see a deeper call in this passage this morning. It is the call Jesus gave to Simon, Andrew, James and John in verse 19. Jesus tells them, “Come, follow me…” This is the call to discipleship.

There are a lot of people who answer the call to faith. They consider the claims of Jesus and find them valid, but then just sort of leave the information there and never go deeper in the life of faith. Jesus’ call to these fishermen was a call to a deeper life, a changed life. We might say that if the call to faith is the call to change our minds, then the call to discipleship is the call to change our lives.

If we read John’s Gospel (which doesn’t record this particular episode) it’s possible that Jesus has already encountered Andrew and Simon, and perhaps even John, as well. Andrew was a disciple of John the Baptist. One day, Jesus walked by and John the Baptist said, “Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.” John the Baptist was saying, “This is the guy I’ve been telling you about.”

Andrew and another disciple scholars believe was John, the son of Zebedee, followed after Jesus. Jesus asked them why they were following him. Let me make a long story short. They hung out with Jesus for a while, then Andrew went and found his brother, Simon, and told him, “We’ve found the Messiah,” and Peter went to meet Jesus. That’s when Jesus told Simon his name would be Peter. Yes, it’s likely they knew Jesus, and more importantly, Jesus knew them, and he called them to a deeper life—to be disciples.

The call to be a disciple is a more challenging call than the call of faith. Jesus said, “Follow me.” It was Jesus’ way of saying, “Do what I do. Walk the way I walk. Imitate me.” The way Jesus was walking was the way of selflessness and sacrifice. Jesus would take the basin at the end of his days, wrap a towel around himself and wash the disciples’ feet, and then go to the cross. 

It was not an easy life to which Jesus was calling these men. Discipleship is costly. Discipleship is about making the kingdom of God the priority of our lives. It is a leaving the old life and beginning a new life of faith, hope and love.

There are a lot of people who hear, and even answer, the call to faith, but fewer are the people who hear and answer the call to discipleship, though the call goes out to everyone who answers the call to faith.

Jesus called ordinary, common, hard-working fishermen. Commercial fishing was hard, dangerous work (still is), and the men who did it were simple, not highly educated, hard-working men who only sought to make a living for their families.

It is a reminder to me that Jesus isn’t necessarily looking for well-educated, well-qualified persons to be disciples. Jesus is looking for willing persons, persons who are willing to hear the call to faith and the claims of Jesus, and then be willing to join him in transforming the world. That’s the call to discipleship, and he’s calling all of us to be his disciples.

The Call to Ministry

I see one more deeper call still as I reflect this morning: the call to ministry. I’m not thinking about vocational ministry, but of service in the kingdom of God. Every person who answers the call to be a disciple is called to ministry. Jesus, after inviting these men to “follow” him, adds that he will “show them how to fish for people.” He gave them a job to do. That job? To tell others the Good News. 

If the call to faith is a call to change our minds, and the call to discipleship is the call to change our lives, then the call to ministry is the call to change the world by telling others about Jesus. Don’t you think if Jesus could call a few common fishermen to change the world, he could call you and me, as common, ordinary and unprepared as we are? Jesus doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called. Will we answer the call?

Jesus needs Christian businessmen and women who can reach non-Christian businessmen and women. Jesus needs Christian law enforcement officers who can reach non-Christian law enforcement officers. Jesus needs students, and grocery clerks and doctors and nurses and teachers who will go into the places of their lives and witness to His saving grace. Jesus called these hard-working fishermen to reach their community. He’s calling us to reach our community.

Some of you may be afraid that Jesus’ call means you’ll have to pack up and leave your job and family, so you resist. It may mean that for some of us, but the more likely proposition is that he’ll use us right where we are. If we look at the later life of these fishermen, we find after the crucifixion and resurrection they are back mending their nets and fishing. Most of them never ventured far from home, nor gave up their trades. They did, however, make a difference in the Kingdom because the Kingdom became their priority. Telling others, serving others, sharing the Good News became their priority.

Answer the Call

Jesus is calling us to faith, to discipleship and to ministry. He’s calling us to change our minds, to change our lives, and to change the world. Maybe you’ve already answered the call to faith. But, just in case you haven’t, Jesus is calling you to faith today. Answer the call!

Perhaps you haven’t answered the call to discipleship. You know he wants you to go deeper, but you’ve been afraid of the cost of going deeper so you’ve resisted. Answer the call!

Others of you may have gone deeper and fell in love following Jesus, but have resisted serving because you felt you weren’t capable. You are. I can only offer this advice: Answer the call! It will change your life. It will change the world.

Until next time, keep looking up…

Reflection and Realignment, Part 2: The Advantages of Bi-vocational Ministry

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

I shared in last week’s blog the challenges I’ve faced after a year in this new season of bi-vocational ministry. Lest you think the past year has been nothing but challenges, I will share some positive aspects I’ve experienced as a bi-vocational pastor.

There are some personal advantages I’ve noted, but also some advantages for the congregation (or at least I see them as advantages). As I started writing my list, I thought I might divide them into personal and congregational, but I discovered they really work in tandem, so I’ll just make one list.

Many years ago, while I was serving as a District Superintendent with the United Methodist Church, I wrote a blog praising the efforts of bi-vocational pastors (read it here). Having now served a year in that same capacity, little did I know just what a sacrifice those guys and girls were making. That’s not to pat myself on the back, but to acknowledge my own failure to give proper respect and gratitude to those who paved the way before me.

Freedom

The first advantage I’ve noted personally is freedom. What do I mean? I mean when I’m dealing with a difficult passage that challenges the congregation, I feel a particular freedom to be more direct in my preaching–to say the hard thing, the challenging thing, to question their assumptions–because my livelihood is not dependent on the paycheck I receive from the congregation.

I’m not saying that I’ve pulled my punches in the past, but I am confessing that I might not have always been as challenging in every aspect of preaching (or leadership) because of who I might offend. Knowing that my livelihood was dependent on the congregation was always in the back of my mind. Call me a coward, but I know I’m not the only pastor who may or may not have done likewise.

I can tell you, personally, I’ve experienced a greater freedom in my preaching as a bi-vocational pastor. I believe that to be an advantage for the congregation as well.

Perspective

I certainly view my role with a new perspective. I get to see more of what the laity see week-in and week-out. The laity get up and go to work every day and we (and by “we” I mean clergy) expect them to have a devotional life and volunteer at the church. I never knew how challenging that was, and I see that challenge as a positive outcome of bi-vocational ministry. As a pastor, laity and clergy are now on the same playing field.

You mean you want me to work 40 – 50 (or sometimes 60) hours a week, raise a family, keep a home, volunteer in the community AND lead a bible study, teach a Sunday school and serve on the church board in addition to attending worship every Sunday and reading the Bible for 30 minutes a day? Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I do. But, I’m doing it, too, so…

Mission Engagement

This one is a no-brainer. Going to a “real” job every day puts me smack dab in the middle of the mission field. It affords me a very unique opportunity to engage the mission field and evangelize every day. I see people in my secular job that I might likely never see if I were in full-time ministry.

Now, do I always take advantage of the opportunity? Well, that’s a conversation for another blog post, but the opportunity exists, nonetheless.

Avoids Isolation

Let me make another confession: When I was in full-time ministry, I tended to isolate myself from the secular world. It was actually fairly easy to do. Always in the office. Making hospital calls. Going to church meetings. Attending denominational functions. Traveling to Christian conferences. Hanging out with other clergy. There was no (or very little) contact with the “real” world. We clergy could easily develop our own “ivory tower” syndrome, just from a religious perspective instead of an academic one.

Secular employment gets me out of the religious bubble that clergy can sometimes live in, and that’s an advantage for both clergy and the congregation.

Financial Freedom

Okay, so I don’t know if “freedom” is the correct word for what I’m trying to communicate. I didn’t take the pastoral position because I needed the money. The Lord has blessed us in our business, so I’m not talking about that aspect of it, but I will say that a part-time salary for many bi-vocational clergy serves as a means to financial security.

I know many retired pastors who supplement their retirement income by serving a congregation. I also know some bi-vocational pastors who use their church income to increase their generosity.

For the congregation as well, a bi-vocational pastor allows them to have a pastor when they otherwise might not be able to afford it. Technically, one might argue that if a congregation can’t afford a pastor, are they legitimately a congregation, but I would argue that the early church couldn’t afford clergy either. There are many, many small congregations that are making a significant Kingdom impact. I pray Haughton Methodist is one of them. Having a bi-vocational pastor frees congregational resources to be directed toward evangelism and outreach.

Leadership

Being a bi-vocational pastor has forced me to rely on laity for getting things done in the congregation. This is an advantage for me and for the congregation. I have had to “let go” of some aspects of congregational leadership, and as a former full-time clergy, this has forced me to deal with my own control issues. Of course, I now have control issues as a small-business owner, so am I really dealing with it on a spiritual level? That notwithstanding, it has definitely been an advantage in ministry.

Likewise, the laity has, of necessity, had to embrace leadership responsibility in the life of the congregation that having a full-time pastor may not have allowed. A healthier and more biblical leadership structure is developing in the life of our congregation as a result. That can only be a positive thing.

Strategic Conversations

By my count, that’s twice as many advantages to the challenges I noted last week. I guess that means I’m doubly blessed by serving in a bi-vocational role. Seriously though, I honestly believe the advantages far outweigh the challenges of bi-vocational ministry. I also believe more clergy and more congregations should explore God’s call to see where He might be leading them. Might bi-vocational ministry become an intentional strategy to enhance ministry and build the Kingdom?

I’d love to hear your answer to that question. Hit me in the comments with your thoughts.

Until next time, keep looking up…

Don’t Be Insane…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

You know the definition of insanity, right? Insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result. The definition has been attributed to Albert Einstein. No one really knows if Einstein said it, but regardless, it is still true.

I bring up insanity only as a follow-up to my previous blog (here) dealing with the pastoral supply shortage in the church world (particularly among Methodists). Many congregations are searching for pastors and they are doing so with a mentality that is either dying or already dead.

Many congregations want a pastor like the pastors from the “good old days”–one who visits the sick, comforts the grieving, preaches good sermons, leads great bible studies, attends all the church functions, opens and closes the church on Sunday, etc. Many congregations are looking for a pastor “Who can meet our needs.” They are looking for Pastor Fetch.

If you’re a congregation that is searching for a leader, and you’re looking for a Pastor Fetch, you’re being insane. The reason for your insanity is because you’re trying to do ministry in a world that no longer exists. The world (the culture) has changed and your congregation is not changing with it. My counsel to you is “Don’t be insane!”

The 21st century and the dawn of the Information Age (call it the rise of the internet), along with the introduction of social media, has changed the landscape for EVERYTHING in our world. The church, as per usual, is one of the last institutions to adapt to that changing landscape (although the Covid pandemic did speed up the process for some). The tectonic shifts in culture have rendered the “old” models of ministry (and ministers) dead, or at the very least, on life support.

The “Old” Models

What are the “old” models of ministry I’m referencing? First, there is what I will call the “priest” model. This model has the leader who has been “trained” in all the rites of the faith tradition, and has the credentials to prove it. This person “stands apart” from the lay persons in the congregation and is the go-between for God and the people.

Another model of “old” ministry is that of “chaplain.” Yes, this model has the congregational leader as a “shepherd” of souls. You need a “pastor” with counseling skills and psychological insight who can visit the sick and care for the needy.

Another “old” model of ministry is that of “preacher-teacher.” The leader has to be trained in Greek and Hebrew in order to interpret the ancient texts. This leader is the resident scholar and theologian, and the sermon is the centerpiece of this model of ministry. An entire industry of theological education grew up to support this model of ministry, and the reality is that industry depends on the survival of this model for its continuation.

A more recent “old” model of ministry is that of “CEO-Manager.” This model has a leader who manages budgets, recruits and manages people for tasks, develops programs for ministry, gains new “customers” (converts) and casts vision for the congregation. This model is pretty much a singular reason we have so many “megachurches” these days.

None of these models has been ineffective. None of these models are necessarily un-biblical (with the exception of the CEO-Manager model). Unfortunately, each of these models have been rolled into the job description for one person, thus the leader who became “Pastor Fetch.”

A “Pre-Christian” World

The parallels between the first and twenty-first centuries is striking. I guess we might say is “there is nothing new under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 1:9). The parallels include globalism, religious pluralism along with a new focus on “spirituality” (people are “spiritual but not religious), and the collapse of institutions (including religious institution) are but a few of the most obvious ones.

The re-emergence of a pre-Christian world (culture) necessitates a new model of leadership in the church. It is called the “Apostolic” leadership model, and it harkens back to the days of the first apostles. I believe God is calling congregations and Christian leaders to re-learn and re-engage in this model of ministry to be effective in this new “old” world.

The “Apostolic” Model of Leadership

So, what does it mean to engage in this new “Apostolic” leadership model? First, this model is “missional.” The congregation (and its leaders) must be on mission–the Great Commission.

19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28: 19-20 NIV).

Evangelism and sharing the Gospel must be at the heart of every congregation. We must be prepared to tell the story of Jesus to a world that increasingly has not heard the Word, and we must do it with creativity–taking the church to the street, or the amusement park, or the ball park, or the concert venue–well, you get the point. One congregation actually leases an amusement park once a year and invites the community free of charge to come as a means of promoting the Gospel.

Next, the new “old” model is “kingdom focused.” To be kingdom focused means that we believe Jesus’ kingdom does not fit the model of this world, and that it actually extends past the walls of church building programming. This does not mean we are pursuing political power, but are looking for collegial relationships that are community based and community focused. It is not about “how do we get people to come to our church,” but more about, “how do we take church to the people.”

Thirdly, the new “old” model is “team-oriented.” Pastor Fetch cannot and will not do it all in the apostolic model. Jesus had a team of twelve (probably more) that he taught and commissioned to begin the work of ministry. The Apostle Paul had Barnabas, Silas, Timothy and Luke as helpers for the work of ministry. A team orientation to ministry assists in bringing ALL the necessary skills to the work, and it promotes accountability among leadership in a much more spiritual way.

As part of this team orientation, ministry leaders will be focused on developing disciples who exhibit and practice the “five-fold ministry gifts” found in Ephesians 4.

11 So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, 12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature,attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ (Ephesians 4: 11-13 NIV).

Ministry leadership is about developing others to fulfill the calling of the mission. Congregations seeking pastoral leadership need to be looking for persons who can lead them in learning to the do the ministry instead of leaders who do the ministry for them.

The Leader a Congregation is Looking For

In this cultural age, every congregation should be looking for a pastor who is evangelistic, meaning their primary desire should be to see others come to Jesus. The primary desire of your new pastor should not be to meet your spiritual needs, but rather should be concerned with inviting others into a saving relationship with Jesus Christ.

Another characteristic that should be high on a congregation’s list of qualifications is a person who is interested in community engagement, a person who has demonstrated the ability to engage in building relationships across congregations, businesses and other non-profits in the communities they’ve served.

A final characteristic I would be looking for if I were looking for a pastor is a team-building mentality. Is the person capable and has he/she demonstrated the capacity to surround him/herself with other leaders and allow them to share the work of ministry. Has this person delegated responsibility to others, and has this person taught and trained others how to use their giftedness for ministry?

Those are not necessarily qualities that have been high on your list for previous pastors, but if a congregation goes looking for a pastor like their previous pastors, then they’ll likely get exactly what they’ve gotten in past, and that will only lead to a continuing decline in the congregation. But, I say, “Hey, if you want what you’ve always had, then by all means, go for it. You’ll get what you’ve always gotten, and that’s just insane.”

But, then again, what do I know? I’ve been out of vocational ministry for five years. I don’t know much of anything. I’ve just been observing from the sidelines. One can learn a lot, though, when observing from the sidelines.

Until next time, keep looking up…

Living the Dream…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is ith your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. 11 As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” 12 For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13 for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

14 How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?15 And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”

16 But not all the Israelites accepted the good news. For Isaiah says, “Lord, who has believed our message?” 17 Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ. 

Romans 10: 9 – 17 (NIV)

This passage from Romans was part of my devotional reading on Thanksgiving day this past week. As I read this passage, I did so with mixed (?) feelings simply because this passage was so central in helping me discern God’s call to ministry over 32 years ago. Why were the feelings so mixed? My feelings were mixed because there are many days that I wonder if I am continuing to live out His call. To use the Apostle Paul’s imagery, I should state it this way: I’m not feeling like my feet are very beautiful these days.

Perhaps the feelings were also being fueled by a recent book I read entitled Goodbye Jesus: An Evangelical Preacher’s Journey Beyond Faith by Tim Sledge. Let me save you the pain of reading the book by offering a synopsis. Young man is called and begins preaching at age 16. Young man goes to college and seminary and graduates with multiple degrees. Young man marries. Young man serves numerous congregations until arriving as pastor of what becomes a “mega-church.” Young man starts vital ministries that impact congregations throughout the nation while leading the mega-church congregation. Pastor gets booted from mega-church congregation for no apparent reason. Pastor eventually gets divorced. Pastor gets re-married and divorced again. Pastor leaves ministry. Pastor loses faith in Jesus Christ and His Church.

While that is definitely the abridged version of the story, reading it did prompt me to reconsider what I believe about Jesus Christ and His Church, and why I believe it. As of today, I did not come down on the same side as the former Rev. Dr. Sledge.

Today, I am more committed to Christ and HIs Church than perhaps that day in October 1990 when I walked down the aisle at (what is now) Chatham Community Church and announced that I felt called to ministry.

May I say that I’ve been living the dream ever since!

Honestly, as a young man I never dreamed of being in ministry. It’s just nothing I ever considered. If you asked me as a teenager what my dream was, I would have told you to go into communications (I wanted to be Bob Barker, remember?).

Later, as a young man I would have told you I saw myself owning and running a business. Sure, I was working in law enforcement at the time, but I knew that would never be a career for me. I would be an entrepreneur, or hey, I might even go into politics (yup, tried that, too!), or why not do both? That was the dream in my early adult life. Let’s just say that God has a great sense of humor!

God’s sense of humor had me communicating on a weekly basis, engaging my entrepreneurial bent in growing congregations and managing the politics of leading a church. Yeah, funny right? God called me to ministry and gave me opportunity to do all the things I dreamed about as a kid and as a young man. It is called “living the dream,” just not in the way I thought.

There were days I thought the dream might become a nightmare. It’s on those days that I can understand how the former Rev. Dr. Sledge might reach the conclusion he did. Those sentiments came to a head for me in February 2019 as I watched events unfold at the special session of General Conference of the United Methodist Church. I’ve never seen the Church so ugly…or so ugly toward one another. Yes, I know the Church has a long history of ugly episodes, but I didn’t live through them. Experiencing the ugliness in real time takes a toll…or, at least it did on me.

I won’t say I lost my faith as a result of General Conference 2019, but I did lose a lot of faith in the institution and its leadership. If I didn’t lose my faith, I at least surely questioned it. I questioned His call to ministry. I questioned my commitment to Christ and His Church…and particularly the United Methodist Church. Could the Church be broken beyond repair? Could I make a difference anymore? Did I want to make a difference anymore? Was it worth the fight?

In 2019, my answer to the last three questions was “no.” I wouldn’t call it a crisis of faith, but I would call it a challenge to my faith, and I wasn’t sure I had the energy to withstand the challenge. The dream had become a nightmare and the nightmare led me to make the decision to leave ministry and the United Methodist Church. By far, the hardest decision I’ve ever made, but with it came a sense of relief…like a burden was lifted…like the way a person is supposed to feel when he/she comes to faith in Jesus Christ. It seemed to be working in reverse, though.

I can certainly understand how the former Rev. Dr. Sledge came to his conclusion. He sought healing and restoration through the church only to be rebuffed at every turn. Yes, there were moral lapses and ethical failures, but (for heaven’s sake!) the church is supposed to be a place of healing and restoration, isn’t it? We’re not supposed to shoot our own! He wasn’t booted from his pastoral position as a result of those moral lapses or ethical failures. They came after the fact. His living of the dream certainly turned into a nightmare. As the conclusion of the book reveals, the nightmare impacted his view of faith and the church. I sympathize with him, but I am eternally grateful I didn’t reach the same conclusion.

No, my time away from ministry brought me a new perspective. It gave me time to breathe, to think, to pray, to reflect and to reassess the call to ministry. When I made the decision in May 2019 to walk away, I thought surely I was done with ministry. Yes, I knew I would probably fill a pulpit for a vacationing pastor from time to time, but otherwise, enough was enough. It was time for a new dream, new plans and a new life.

Want to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans.

Initially, I didn’t receive many calls to fill in for clergy. I suppose I was damaged goods, or folks didn’t think I would be interested in pulpit supply (after all, I DID walk away). It’s probably a good thing. It gave me more time to miss the work of ministry, more time to reflect, more time to pray. Then, after seven months, the world changed–Covid-19!

The pandemic changed the way the church functioned. It was an absolute necessity. I watched with curiosity as pastors and lay leaders “pivoted” the way they did church. I felt a stirring in my bones that the challenges of adapting to the new reality would have been right up my alley. Perhaps the Lord knew the stress would kill me, so he delivered me from it, but that would certainly be a very narcissistic perspective (you mean it’s not all about me?). Covid actually made me miss the work of ministry. Covid caused me to reassess my call to ministry.

This blog is already too long, so I won’t go into all the ways the pandemic got my entrepreneurial juices flowing. Suffice it to say the pandemic (and watching pastors and churches adapt to it) reignited a vision within me for doing and being the church. It also wasn’t long before my phone started to ring to fill pulpits. I do find the timing interesting…just as my juices started flowing my phone started ringing. Coincidence? Probably not.

Let me make a long story short–today, I’m living the dream in a whole new way. Vanessa and I purchased a business in 2021, so I get to scratch my entrepreneurial itch every day, and now serving in my third congregation as an interim pastor, I have the opportunity to serve the Kingdom for His glory using the gifts and graces He supplies.

In this season of ministry, I’m content in helping congregations in transition. There are a lot of them that need the help (don’t even get me started on why!), so there is plenty of work to be done. I’ve also developed an even deeper appreciation for the work of bivocational clergy during this season of ministry.

The “dream” for now is knowing that the call is real because Christ is real and that I get to live it out every day. I am blessed in knowing that my disillusionment with the institution of the Church didn’t cause me to lose my faith in Jesus Christ, but that it opened doors to new ways of doing ministry…to new ways of living the dream…which I get to do every day. Praise God!

Okay, so my feet may not be that beautiful, but I have feet, and I’ll use them to share the Gospel. The Lord will transform that which was broken and make it beautiful. It’s what He does. Of that, I’m certain.

Oh, and one more thing of which I’m certain? If the world will know Christ, the world will know Christ because someone preached the Word. That’s where the Apostle Paul left it. Let me leave it right there, too!

Until next time, keep looking up…