Attitude

The Controllables…

/ pastorlynnmalone / 1 Comment

nintendo controlLooks like we’re in this thing for the long haul (or at least until April 30th) so I suppose we just have to settle in and adjust to the “new normal.” I’ve heard and read that phrase many times since March 13th when President Trump issued the national emergency in light of the Coronavirus. I must say that I don’t like that phrase because there is nothing normal about the situation in our nation and in the world. I think it is an acquiescence to the fear that is in us to accept this “new” normal. What we are living in is abnormal, and I, for one, will be fighting with all that is in me to get things back to normal when we finally “flatten the curve” on this virus.

But, what do we do in the meantime? For as many times as I’ve heard or read “new normal,” I’ve also heard or read some pundit or article giving advice about living in the meantime. If there’s one thing I’ve discovered during this pandemic, it’s that everyone fancies him/herself an expert. I’ve seen or read a lot of non-medical personnel offering “expert” advice on medical issues. I’ve seen or heard a lot of non-financial folks giving financial advice. I’ve gotten a ton of emails and seen a boatload of promoted posts on social media from “life coaches” trolling for new clients offering their services in the face of the pandemic–they’re all experts, too!

Well, I figured that I’m an expert in my opinion, so that should qualify me as an expert. With that in mind, let me offer my expert opinion on how we live in the meantime. It’s really simple advice, but I’ve found it incredibly helpful to me personally. The advice is simply this–focus on the things you can control.

There are so many things that are out of our control during this time. Rather than spend time focusing on those things, why not focus on that which we can control? Just makes sense to me. It was best expressed in a meme I saw on Facebook:Important Control

I’ve decided that I’m focusing my time and effort on the important things that I can control, and as the meme points out, that’s a rather small area. So, what are those important things that I can control?

Control My Inputs

First, I can control my inputs. One thing we can’t control is the amount of time we have to spend at home. What I can control is how much time I spend in front of the television streaming Netflix or Amazon Prime. Certainly, streaming services have changed the way we watch television, but there’s no mandate that we have to sit and binge watch the entire series of Tiger King, Ozark or Narcos Mexico. After watching the entire season 2 of Narcos Mexico in the first week of the “stay-at-home” order, I discovered my mind becoming mush.

I can also control how much news I watch. Let’s not forget, folks, that CNN, MSNBC and Fox News are more opinion than news these days, and each has its own pundits who are driven more by agendas than basic facts. They’re also driven by advertising dollars, and they’ll do whatever they can to gain viewers. Fear sells, friends, and I can’t help but wonder if we’re buying too much of what they are selling, and it’s destroying us from the inside out. Rather than spending six hours watching news channels, why not watch President Trump’s press conference, your governor’s press conference and your local news, then make up your own mind about the facts?

Control My Attitude

Second, I can control my attitude. I can’t control the fact that “experts” base their models on “worst case” scenarios, and those scenarios are what get reported (see fear selling above) in the media, but I don’t have to succumb to the fear those reports often generate. I can choose to be fearful, or I can choose to be hopeful. After all, aren’t we who follow Jesus Christ, supposed to be the most hopeful of people? What does it say to a fearful world when the world see us reflecting the same fear?

I can choose anxiety, or I can choose peace. Part of my family was gathered last Sunday (we had already been around each other, so don’t judge!), and in our time together I shared a passage from John’s Gospel:

32 “A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.

33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16: 32- 33 (NIV)

I wanted my family to know that though we may be separated for a time that we are never alone, and that should bring us peace. So, I’ll choose peace because I can control that choice.

Control My Actions

Finally, I can control my actions. I can’t control when someone treats me rudely in the grocery store for getting too close to them, but I can control how I respond when they do act rudely. Of course, it helps to remind myself that when someone lashes out because I violated the six foot rule or didn’t wear a mask, that they are reacting in fear, and that their actions are a reflection of their character, not mine. What I can control is whether I respond rudely or with an apology. I pray my character would lead me to respond with an apology, and to be more aware of others around me.

I also can’t control what someone posts on social media, but I’ve come to learn that I don’t have to respond to every idiot on social media. It breaks my heart that followers of Jesus are often so blatant in calling one another out on social media. Have a different opinion than another sister or brother in Christ? Fine. Rather than offer your alternative opinion in an often condescending way, why not simply post your own thoughts in a separate post without mentioning names? And, if the disagreement is sufficiently pronounced, why not message the person directly, or better yet, pick up the phone and call them. It is not a helpful witness to the world for them to see us fighting among ourselves.

So, I’m just going to focus on the controllables in my life. I don’t think “controllables” is a word, but it sounds good to me. I can control my inputs, my attitude and my actions. They’re all incredibly important, and can make the difference in how I endure the uncontrollable nature of the coronavirus.

Until next time, keep looking up…

For All the “Saints”…

/ pastorlynnmalone / 4 Comments

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a New Orleans Saints fan. Seriously, my earliest memories of football…any football…are of the New Orleans Saints on Sunday afternoon, usually at my Grandmother’s house. I love me some Saints football.

That’s one reason I’m heartbroken this week. The Saints played in the NFC Conference Championship game on Sunday afternoon and were robbed (yes, robbed) of the chance to play in the Super Bowl on February 3rd. There was a horrible no-call pass interference penalty late in the fourth quarter that most likely would have ended the game with a New Orleans walk-off field goal. Anyone but the most avid Los Angeles Rams fan would agree the non-call was egregious (check here and here), but that fact doesn’t change the result of the game: LA Rams 26, NO Saints 23!

Here’s my confession: I take the New Orleans Saints too seriously. After all, it’s just a game, and in the grand scheme of eternity, no one will care 100 years from now about a non-call in a football game in 2019. I should probably repent of the overzealous, in-the-moment Facebook posts that are usually scathing rebukes of Sean Payton‘s (the Saints head coach) play-calling, Drew Brees’ (the Saints quarterback) decision-making, or the officials questionable officiating. So, there is my mea culpa. I don’t suspect there will be one coming from the NFL Corporate Office in New York City, though.

Now that I’ve had a little time to reflect on the events of this past Sunday, there are a few lessons I’ve learned that I feel like I should share. First, it’s just a game. When did 22 men running around on a field tossing a ball earning millions of dollars for doing so become so important to me? When did it become so important to our culture?

I know it says something about my priorities when I bend over backwards to insure that I’m home sitting in front of the television whenever the Saints are playing. I can’t imagine why I let professional football have such control over my life, my temperament and my emotions. Some of those guys do a lot of good with the money they earn for playing a game (and I appreciate those who do), but they don’t know me (and never will), and yet I choose to surrender control of my life to their escapades for three hours every week. That’s a reflection on me, not on them. It’s just a game, with no eternal significance.

Second, I learned that there are some things in life we just can’t control. Drew Brees said it best in his post-game conversation: “I prefer to look at the things that are in my control.” There is a little “control freak” in all of us (I like to think I’m not the only one) that tries to control every situation and person in life. Life doesn’t always turn out the way we hope or imagine. Instead of spending time worrying about the things we can’t control, it’s best to utilize our time controlling those things we can control. What could I do to make this situation better or different? What decisions could I have made differently? What did I do wrong that led to this outcome? What opportunities did I miss because I was otherwise distracted? It’s wasted energy to spend time contemplating the “what-if’s” of life.

Third, I am reminded that life is simply not fair. Yes, the Saints were robbed. No, it’s not fair. Now, get over it. Life is not fair. Deal with it. The Apostle Paul had first hand experience with the injustice of life. While in the city of Philippi on his second missionary journey, Paul and his traveling companion, Silas, were beaten and arrested for casting an evil spirit out of a young slave girl. There was nothing just about their treatment at the hands of the Philippians. What did Paul and Silas choose to do? They dealt with it. They went to prison. They sang praises at midnight. They refused to let their circumstances dictate their attitude.

Certainly don’t read that to mean that we shouldn’t fight injustice as long as we’re able. Even in our fighting, though, we’ll discover that life will not always deal fairly with us. Life being unfair with us does not mean that we do not seek justice on behalf of others.

Finally, I learn that everyone makes mistakes. The two officials who could have (should have) made that call failed to do so. Some think it was a conspiracy (part of me wants to believe it), but it was probably just one of those moments when a choice was made and it turned out to be the wrong choice. That’s NEVER happened to me!

Actually, it happens to me more times than I care to admit. Because it happens to me more times than I care to admit, I am reminded of my desperate need for grace and forgiveness. I am grateful for a Savior who loves me and offers himself for my forgiveness in those times I fall short. None of us are above making mistakes, and none of us are out of the reach of God’s grace. I’ll extend that same grace to those officials who made a mistake (a doozy, for sure). I’m certain those officials feared for their safety as they left the Superdome Sunday evening. No one deserves to live in fear because of their mistakes. Not you. Not me. Not them. I’m very grateful for the gift of grace.

I’m sure there are more lessons I could learn if I contemplated the situation some more, but then I’d just get upset by thinking about it. I think it’s time to move on, and so I shall. Hope you do, too. Move on from whatever mistake is dominating your life…move on from whatever circumstance is controlling your attitude, temperament and emotions…just, move on. Don’t be bound by chains of unforgiveness. Live in God’s gracious embrace.

Oh, and I almost forgot, Geaux Saints!

Until next time, keep looking up…