Month: July 2023

The Pastor’s Heart or Prophet’s Voice…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

I’m approaching a milestone birthday, and no, I’m not going to say which one, but as it approaches I must confess that I’ve struggled greatly over the past few years with finding a balance between a pastor’s heart and the prophetic voice that is part of a preacher’s calling. The older I’ve gotten, the more I hear the prophetic voice dominating my reactions to things I see and hear around me. I find myself often wanting to stand up and shout, “Repent, for the Kingdom of God is at hand!”

I often justify my reactions by the fact that one of my seminary professors many years ago said to me, “Lynn, you have the gift of prophetic utterance.” Then, he added, “That won’t often sit well with congregations you will serve. Find balance.” In recent years, I think I’ve lost that balance (if I ever had it).

I’ve actually probably never had balance. I’m going to admit that I’ve always tried to err on the side of the pastor’s heart. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose, until I acknowledge the reason I did: approval addiction. I wanted to be liked more than I wanted to be obedient. I wanted to be a “successful” pastor more than I wanted to be an obedient disciple. The older I get, the more I realize that I need to call my own self to repentance. The older I get, the more I realize how much grace I need…and how much grace I’ve been shown. Helps to strengthen the pastor’s heart, but if I’m not careful it can quench the prophet’s voice. Lord, I need balance.

I think the prophetic voice is more predominate these days because I’ve been separated from the body of Christ. No, I haven’t left the church. I’ve preached plenty of times in plenty of places, but Vanessa and I haven’t called a single congregation home for a long time. I don’t count the two and a half years we served a small congregation (wonderful congregation, wonderful folks, good friends). It was where we attended worship, but time and distance prevented us (me) from investing ourselves in the life of the congregation in ways that form deep connections that nurture the pastor’s heart. That’s totally on me, not the congregation.

I admit. I was running a new business and I was investing way more time and effort in that enterprise than I was in nurturing the congregation. For that, I owe them a sincere apology. They deserved better. It was during that time that I sensed my preaching moving toward the prophetic voice, and I lost a sense of the pastor’s heart. See, if you try real hard, you can justify anything, but just because something is justifiable doesn’t mean it is justified. Then again, maybe I’m just getting older. Maybe it’s just that I’m suffering from GOMS (grumpy old man syndrome), and I don’t feel the need to be liked as much.

Of course, it could be that I look around me and see our culture and the church coming off the rails. I mean really, who would have thought…even 10 minutes ago…that we’d be having a cultural conversation concerning sex change operations for children? FOR CHILDREN! (<<<<<that’s me shouting in my most prophetic sounding voice). Or, that Congress would be holding hearings on the matter and having trouble deciding if it is “gender-affirming care,” or “genital mutilation.”

The prophetic voice in me wants desperately to shout that the practice of sex change operations for CHILDREN is getting awfully close to the Old Testament practice of child sacrifice. The prophetic voice in me wants to shout Genesis–

So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.

Genesis 1: 27 (NIV)

Let’s start the debate there and see where it leads us. There are just some things in this world that are immutable. Maybe we need the prophet’s voice to remind us.

Then, I remember when the pastor’s heart was more real to me, and I consider the circumstances and issues that bring a child and his or her parents to such a decision and I want desperately to show compassion and empathy and grace. I want desperately to understand what brought them to this place so that I might in some way be in ministry to them, to lead them to the Truth in Jesus Christ. And, I realize that can never happen until there is a deep relationship that is formed between us. That relationship can only be formed in the context of community…the community that is found in the church.

I need a church home. We all do, really. Without a church home, I know the prophetic voice will increasingly dominate my calling and I’ll continue to see the pastor’s heart diminished…for the worse, I think. For those who aren’t pastors/preachers, without a church home you’ll likely grow more cynical and self-centered (but maybe not) as you get older. Just another sign that we all need grace…and balance.

So, Lord, I’m looking for balance…balance between the prophet’s voice and the pastor’s heart. If it’s true that I have both, I don’t want to lose either. May the Holy Spirit guide us all to the place of full obedience so that we might be perfectly balanced in the center of His will.

Until next time, keep looking up…

God in the Dead Spots…

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

The boy Samuel ministered before the Lord under Eli. In those days the word of the Lord was rare; there were not many visions.

1 Samuel 3:1 (NIV)

You know what a dead spot is, right? It’s like cell phone companies spend millions if not billions of dollars erecting towers all over the country, but when you really need your cell phone, you can’t get coverage. A dead spot is that place where the signal doesn’t reach. 

Life can sure make us believe we’re living in a dead spot when it comes to hearing God’s voice. We face one of the four D’s (death, divorce, disease, disaster) and God can seem so distant. Fortunately, we have the promise of Jesus Himself–“and surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20 NIV).

Apparently, the nation of Israel was living in a “dead spot” during a very transitional period in its history. Verse one of 1 Samuel says, “the word of the Lord was rare in those days.” The transitional time the nation was living in was the period between the judges and the monarchy. Yes, the nation had been ruled by Judges. You may remember some of their names: Gideon, Samson and Deborah (yes! a woman!). Others you probably only know if you’ve recently studied the book of Judges in the Bible. There are twelve chronicled in the book of Judges, and the end of the book of Judges best sums up the state of the nation of Israel “in those days”: “In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as they saw fit” (Judges 21:25 NIV).

Hope in the Dead Spots

Reading 1 Samuel 3 gives me encouragement and hope to know that though we may be in a “dead spot” God is still there and He is still calling. God is always present in the dead spots of life. The problem is not with God’s presence, but with our reception.

Let me shorten the story of Samuel for you. We read in 1 Samuel 1 & 2 that Samuel was born to his mother, Hannah, in answer to a prayer. Hannah was barren, so on one of her family’s annual pilgrimages to the Tabernacle, she offered a prayer for a child. The high priest, Eli, saw Hannah weeping at the door of the Tabernacle. She was crying because she had no child.

Eli joined Hannah in praying and God answered her prayer. In response to God’s faithfulness, Hannah dedicated Samuel to life-long service to God, and when he was old enough, she took him to the Tabernacle at Shiloh to serve with Eli, just as she promised she would do. Chapter 3 of 1 Samuel begins somewhere in the neighborhood of 12 years later.

2 One night Eli, whose eyes were becoming so weak that he could barely see, was lying down in his usual place. 3 The lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was lying down in the house of the Lord, where the ark of God was. 4 Then the Lord called Samuel.

Samuel answered, “Here I am.” 5 And he ran to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.”

But Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down.” So he went and lay down.

6 Again the Lord called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.”

“My son,” Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down.”

7 Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord: The word of the Lord had not yet been revealed to him.

8 A third time the Lord called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.”

Then Eli realized that the Lord was calling the boy. 9 So Eli told Samuel, “Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, ‘Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.’” So Samuel went and lay down in his place.

10 The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”

Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”

1 Samuel 3: 2 – 10 (NIV)

Reception Inhibitors

Samuel was having a hard time figuring out what this call was all about. He knew someone was calling him, but he couldn’t quite figure it out because they were in a dead spot. What might have been causing that dead spot?

The first thing may have been sin. Eli, the priest, was a devout and compassionate man, but he had problems at home. Actually, what he had was a couple of problem sons. His sons were in the family business—they were priests just like their father. Now, that’s not the problem.

Actually, Eli was of the priestly line of Aaron. Aaron was the first to wear the priestly mantle in the nation of Israel. That mantle had been handed down from generation to generation, so it was a natural progression for Hophni and Phineas to go into the family business. The problem was they soon discovered they could get rich off the offerings the people were making for sacrifices. They also enjoyed the companionship of the women who served in the Tabernacle. They were in the family business, but it was for all the wrong reasons.

Day in and day out, Samuel witnessed this leadership in the Tabernacle, and maybe Samuel didn’t expect God to speak in the middle of all that. Sin may have been creating a dead spot for Samuel as God came calling.

Another issue may have been weariness. Verses 2 & 3 say that the Lord spoke to Samuel before the Lamp of God had gone out. That simply means it was probably the wee hours of the morning when the Lord came calling.

You know how it is when you get suddenly awakened in the middle of the night. It takes a moment or two to get your wits about you. Perhaps Samuel couldn’t hear the Lord because he was just tired.

Perhaps anger or abandonment were creating a dead spot for Samuel. Think about this: Samuel had been left as a little boy by his mother…literally, right after he was weaned. She would only visit him once a year when it was time for the yearly sacrifices. How do you explain to a little boy year after year that he can’t go home with you after your yearly visit? It must have been confusing to Samuel, and confusion, as it often does can lead to anger. Maybe Samuel was just angry, and that anger was causing his inability to distinguish God’s voice.

Another issue we could explore is simple ignorance. Verse 7 seems to indicate there was a little ignorance involved. Samuel is young and he’s been around the Tabernacle for a long time, but he had never experienced God. He knew he could serve God, but he didn’t realize God wanted a personal relationship with him. He didn’t quite understand that God was a personal God who desired to use him in a special way.

Fortunately for Samuel, he was able to eventually discern God’s voice in the dead spot–and it changed the nation forever. Samuel would rise to become Israel’s last judge/prophet and would anoint its first two kings, including its most famous one, King David.

God is still calling out in the dead spots. God is calling people to the Kingdom…to salvation. He is calling people to healing and wholeness. He is calling people to reconciliation. How is our reception? A better question might be: What is blocking our reception?

Maybe it’s our own ignorance. Many of us have been around the church for a lot of years and have come to equate service to God with a relationship with God. We’ve heard lots of sermons, sung lots of hymns and even served in official capacities, but we never understood that God wants a personal relationship with us.

How do I know? Because that’s exactly how I was. I grew up in church…had a drug problem…drug from one church to another, but not until I was 27 years old did I realize that God wanted a personal relationship with me. I was ignorant!

Is anger keeping us from hearing the voice of God in our lives? Sickness or tragedy strikes us or those we love. We go through a bitter divorce. We lose our job and financial security. We’re left with questions and confusion. We get mad at others, and we get mad at God because, after all, God should have done something. Our anger may keep us from hearing and understanding the only thing that can bring healing and wholeness to our lives.

Perhaps we’re just too tired to hear God calling. We live in such a fast-paced world with families, jobs and social activities that we’re just worn out. Hey? We even get tired working for God. Why does God want me to do something else? It is possible to weary in well-doing, you know? In our weariness, we may miss the voice of God. Every day Jesus calls to us saying, “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28 NIV).

Then, again, it might be a matter of sin that keeps us from discerning God’s voice. Sin surrounds us, friends. It might be our own sin, or it may be someone else’s, but sin casts a dark shadow obscuring the light of God’s love. Whatever sin you or I may be struggling with, we can know God has built a tower in our dead spot. That tower is Jesus!

The Greatest Cell Tower Ever

I love what the writer to the Hebrews says: “Long ago God spoke many times and in many ways to our ancestors through the prophets. And now in these final days, he has spoken to us through his Son. God promised everything to the Son as an inheritance, and through the Son he created the universe (Hebrews 1:1-2).

Jesus shed his blood to forgive our sins so that we might be reconciled to him and to each other. Friend, God is calling to us…calling us to salvation, calling us to wholeness, calling us to service.

Sometimes we need help hearing that call, though. Samuel would never have understood God’s call without Eli. That’s the reason the church is so important. The sacraments of baptism and holy communion make us aware of God’s presence, and the community (fellowship with other believers) is imperative to understanding and clarifying God’s call or His voice. God will use others to help us, and he will use us to help others so that we might all find our way out of the dead spots.

God is calling you, too. He is calling each of us to salvation and to service. But, He is not calling us for ourselves. He’s calling us for others, to help them hear His call in their lives. Are you living in a dead spot? It’s time to simply say, “Speak Lord, for your servant is listening.” Hear God’s call in a new way.

Until next time, keep looking up…

Confirmation of My Imperfection…

/ pastorlynnmalone / 1 Comment

Yup! It’s been that kind of week. The kind of week you’d rather get a do-over. I won’t bore you with all the details (your week may have been worse than mine), but suffice it to say this week confirmed for my that the name of my personal website (nottheperfectpastor.com) is the correct one.

Here’s the first evidence that my imperfections reared their ugly head. People! The world would be a great place if it weren’t for the people. That’s a terrible thing for a pastor (well, soon to be pastor) to say. Not only for a pastor, but for a business owner, too. Without people there are no customers. No customers mean no money. No money means no business. Yup! We NEED people, but sometimes…

I try desperately to show respect to others. I also try to exercise common courtesy when engaging with others. I must be terribly old school, though, because I’m seeing very little in the way of respect for or courtesy toward others. Or, perhaps I’m just not looking for it (could be another of my imperfections).

Three separate events keep playing over and over in my mind, and every time I re-live one of them, my blood pressure goes up and I get a little red in the face. Every time, I have to say a little prayer of repentance and patience, and also remind myself that my consternation with the situations (and persistently reliving them) are both signs that I need as much grace as the people who have raised my ire. So, there’s that…

Uh, huh! I know I’ve got you wondering what happened. I said I wouldn’t bore you with details, so I won’t go into too deeply (sorry! I’m trying to think of something to write since it is Sunday and I want to keep the discipline of writing on Sunday lest not doing so becomes another sign of my imperfection) on the details, and doing so might compromise other people and I really don’t want to do that (oh! the imperfections). So, here goes nothing…

This literally happened! We replaced a couple of parts on a customer’s vehicle this week. Got the job done. Took care of the problem. Two days later the customer calls and asks to speak to me. “Sir, those parts you put on my car, one of them is chrome and the other is black. Why is that?” My answer is, “Because those were the only two parts the parts house had to fit your vehicle” (the parts are not visible unless you get under the vehicle). Long story short, the customer wanted us to replace one of the parts so they would match. Really!

I can’t tell you what I really thought, or what I really wanted to say (and might have under my breath). Just know that the end of that conversation prompted a moment of repentance, a prayer for patience and deep gratitude for grace.

So, let me ask you? If you were to quit a job, would you have the courtesy and consideration to say to your boss, “This isn’t working out for me. I’m leaving”? Or, “Hey, you’re a terrible boss. I’m outta’ here!”? Perhaps even, “I have a better opportunity, so I’m done”? Wouldn’t you at least say something on your way out the door?

No! Just don’t show up. Don’t call. No, “Kiss my foot” (yeah, I thought of the other word) or anything. No respect. No consideration. No courtesy. That happened not once this week, but twice. It is the nature of the quick lube industry (or so I’ve been told), but seriously, I’m beginning to develop a complex. I’m beginning to think not only am I not the perfect pastor, I’m not the perfect boss either, but still, how hard is it to show a little respect to others.

The Holy Spirit (as the Holy Spirit so often does) used those encounters to put me in my place. He heard my prayer for patience and soon turned my thoughts toward those who departed. What events in their lives might be happening to prompt such actions? Perhaps I had not earned their trust as a boss? Maybe I need to hone my hiring practices and skills? Maybe, just maybe, Lynn Malone, YOU are the problem. At the end of the day, there was a moment of repentance, a prayer for more patience and deep gratitude for grace.

And yesterday, let me tell you! It’s bad enough when you have a flat tire, but having a flat tire on your wife’s birthday when you’re taking her to dinner and movie, well I hope you can imagine. So, we’re stuck in a hot parking garage. I intentionally parked in a far away parking spot knowing that when we came out of the movie that I was going to be changing a flat tire.

This event really caused what one old preacher friend labeled “the unregenerate portion” of me to show itself. First, roadside assistance with State Farm is well, let’s just say that Jake is not my friend. Seriously! You mean to tell me in all of Shreveport/Bossier City on a Saturday afternoon at 4:00 p.m., you can’t find anyone to offer roadside assistance? I can’t believe you tried very hard. I should move on from this one since I have a daughter who works for a State Farm agent.

Now, get this when you think about being considerate of others. Here we are, really off to ourselves near the entrance of the parking garage and there a literally 600 other parking spaces nearby…and I mean literally 600 spaces. I’m in my spot with the tailgate raised and tires and spare tires lying around and my wife’s van on a jack. A car pulls into the garage and which spot does the driver choose? You guessed it! The one right next to mine…on the same side as the flat tire…that I’m attempting to change! 600 (literally 600) other spots and you pick this one? Can you see the redness of my face as my blood pressure rises?

Honestly, I thought some things a disciple of Jesus should never think. At least I didn’t say them, though when I’m reminded of the Apostle Paul’s words to the Philippian Church, “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Phil. 4:8) I realize how woefully short I’ve fallen, whether I actually said anything or not. Let’s just say that there was another moment of repentance, a prayer for patience and deep gratitude for grace.

The before…

It really was all my fault anyway. Had I put the portable air pump back in my wife’s van the last time I used it, the flat tire would have been about a ten minute fix. But, I didn’t put the air pump back in her van. Imagine the irony of a guy who sells tires for a living not having the equipment to fix his own flat tire. Yeah! I was a bit mad at myself, too! Grace was found however in having a daughter who lives in Bossier City dutifully jump to the rescue by going to Auto Zone, buying a new portable air pump and delivering it to her stranded mom and dad (she even brought Nothing Bundt Cakes, too!).

The after…

The entire week has been an experiment in patience and a lesson on grace. I’m even going to confess that I considered not attending worship this morning, too, but I need another lesson in grace. I am grateful to have the opportunity to worship this morning with the body of Christ to be reminded that we have a Lord who loves us, gave Himself for us and pours Himself out continually for sinners like me (sinning is the only thing I seem to do rather perfectly). I need to be reminded that we are all in need of grace and that grace is exactly what He extends to every one of us. And, I will go to a Methodist church where hopefully I’ll be reminded that it is His grace that will draw us closer to Him and deeper into discipleship as He grows us toward holiness. Want you join me?

Until next time, keep looking up…

Is Nothing Sacred Anymore?

/ pastorlynnmalone / 1 Comment

Is nothing sacred anymore? That’s the question I’ve been asking myself a lot lately as a result of a few items I’ve seen in the news recently. When I say “sacred,” I’m not speaking from the purely religious perspective, but in broader terms of the values and mores that define us (or once did) as a nation and culture.

I must confess that I am writing with a bit of trepidation simply because the news accounts touch on hot-button issues in our culture, and I run the risk of furthering the “partisan” divide that dominates our discourse and prevents us from having civil conversations and debates surrounding such issues. But, writing helps me process, so write I shall. You don’t have to agree with it. Heck, you don’t even have to read it. Just keep right on scrolling. You won’t hurt my feelings at all.

Defining the Sacred

When I speak of sacred, I speak specifically to mean that which is regarded with awe and reverence, and yes, there are things in our culture which should be (or used to be) regarded with reverence. I know that for something to be sacred means that it is set apart, holy or consecrated. Those terms certainly carry religious connotations, but the idea goes beyond the purely religious.

In the News

So, what has been in the news that prompted my thinking? The first news item was the reporting of the “Pride” month gathering at the White House back in June and the subsequent kerfuffles surrounding the prominent display of the “pride” flag at the White House (read about it here) and the trans-activist who exposed him(her?)self on the White House lawn (cautiously read about it here) during said event.

A second news item (click here for the story) that captured my attention was the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s release of guidance for “chestfeeding” of infants (read the guidance here). Okay, so it’s not really guidance on chestfeeding, but more an acknowledgment that men can produce milk and feed babies from their breasts–to which I say, “What?”

I thought surely I can dig deep to find the nuance of these events so as to arrive at a point that included everyone’s perspective, but the more I reflected, the more I prayed, the more I studied, the reality settled on me that no matter where I landed in my thoughts, someone was going to be excluded. The fact that anyone might be excluded is the very reason that nothing can be sacred anymore.

A Christian American

Let me preface this section with this statement: I am a Christian American, with the emphasis on Christian. I can acknowledge the danger in making that claim of slipping into a christian nationalism mindset. That fact notwithstanding, I believe it is possible to be both a faithful disciple and a strong patriot and I try desperately to be both.

As an American, I’ve always seen the White House as a sacred (set apart, consecrated) place to be held in awe and reverence. It is one of the places in our nation that symbolizes the values that define our nation. It is the people’s house, and as the people’s house, I no more want to see a “pride” flag waving there than I would want to see a Christian flag waving there (although a Christian flag would be more appropriate given the Judeo-Christian principles upon which the nation was built). The White House isn’t a place for any flag except the flag of the United States of America. To display ANY flag other than the American flag is to diminish the sacredness of the space.

And, the man boobs? Well, I never! So, I really don’t care if the President and the White House wanted to host an event for LGBTQI++++++ folks. He’s the President. Go for it, big boy. Do your thing. This is America. I don’t have to attend. I don’t have to like it. I can even speak out against it (this is America, right?), but for an invited guest to expose himself on the White House lawn is a bridge too far for me. It was an expression of utter contempt (udder contempt?) and disrespect for the sacredness of the space. No, there is nothing sacred anymore.

Then, there’s the whole chestfeeding thing. I’m sorry. Men are not women and women are not men. A man can look like a women, can dress like a women, can act like a woman, can live as a woman, but he is still a man. Follow THAT science. A woman can look like a man, can dress like a man, can act like a man, can live as a man, but she is still a woman. It is basic biology. Women cannot be men and men cannot be women, surgery and drugs notwithstanding.

I can remember a time when motherhood was sacred. Heck, even womanhood was somewhat sacred, given the woman’s ability to give birth, to be the source of life. That certainly doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. The sacred nature of motherhood (and womanhood) is lost to the selfish whims and unnatural desires of an individual whose mental wellness can certainly be questioned. But, heavens, let by no means exclude them!

The Problem Before Us

And, therein lies the problem. The sacred is always a bit exclusionary. The sacred evokes a sense of awe, a sense of mystery, that points to something above and beyond itself, or above the person seeking to understand the sacred. In this post-modern, post-Christian world, we just can’t have that.

By rejecting the sacred, we can remove all restraints that hinder us. If nothing is sacred, then any behavior can be justified. If nothing is sacred, legitimacy to any lifestyle can be granted. I’m telling you, folks, losing the sanctity of motherhood (womanhood) puts us on a short path to ultimate evil. Write it down that on this day Lynn Malone wrote that men “chestfeeding” infants is the gateway to legalizing pedophilia. Hyperbole? I hope so, but I think not.

When a sense of the sacred is lost no one stands out, everyone wins a trophy and every passion is ripe for the fulfilling. Everyone must be equal whatever the cost. Every whim, every passion, every desire must be not only legitimized, but also affirmed. To do otherwise is to make someone less than, and we just can’t have that under any condition.

As a sense of the sacred is lost, we begin to replace the truly sacred with the ordinary. We see the elevation of the ordinary to places of sacredness–things like sports, entertainment and materialism. It’s not a huge step until “sin” becomes sacred and to call it out is to commit blasphemy.

I think it points to a larger issue that gets lost in our secular culture. We lose a sense of the sacred in society because we have lost a sense of the sacredness of that which is holiest. We fail to recognize that there should be things set apart for the worship and service of God. When we lose sight of the holiness of Jesus Christ it leads directly to the suppression of the sacred in daily life. We shouldn’t be too surprised to see it happen in culture. It has happened in the church, too. Perhaps it happened in the church before it happened in culture (see an example here).

Jesus is the Answer

Until Jesus Christ is exalted, until Jesus Christ is loved completely and adored genuinely, there can be no surprise that anything else will be viewed as sacred. Until Jesus Christ be high and lifted up, nothing is stable. Until Jesus Christ be worshipped and adored, nothing is safe. Until Jesus Christ be praised forevermore, nothing will be sacred anymore.

Even so, come Lord Jesus.

Until next time, keep looking up…

Deja Vu?

/ pastorlynnmalone / Leave a comment

In the words of the great Yogi Berra, “It’s like deja vu all over again!”

That’s the feeling I’ve experienced over the past couple of days as I scrolled my Facebook feed and saw posts from friends and former colleagues who are making transitions once again in ministry.

Yes, it’s that time of year when United Methodists, and now former United Methodists, are making changes in ministry appointments. This year has been decidedly different in that respect, however.

Many friends and former colleagues are making the transition away from the United Methodist Church as the disaffiliation process continues to play itself out. Some have chosen to transfer to other denominations and others have chosen to retire. Still others have chosen to remain United Methodist and are also on the move. I wish them all blessings and continued fruitfulness in ministry wherever the Lord leads them.

It’s deja vu for me, though, not only because I remember those days, but because I’m on the move, too. I really thought my moving days were over when I voluntarily disaffiliated from the UMC almost four years ago. I thought I’d enter secular employment, plant a house church, fill a few pulpits now and again, and life would be grand. That’s what I get for thinking! (Life is still grand, though).

As for the literal moving part, Vanessa and I have made two moves–from West Monroe to Ruston and from Ruston to Minden–in the nearly four years since leaving full-time vocational ministry. That really is more than the average Methodist minister! I’ve informed Vanessa and my children that I only plan to make one more move–either to the nursing home or the funeral home. I’m too old for this moving foolishness!

I’m on the move in ministry, as well. I began an interim ministry assignment with First Methodist Church in Minden on June 1st. Boy, that didn’t last long! That ministry assignment lasted an entire 30 days. That congregation chose to join the Global Methodist Church, and the congregation was quick to identify a pastor who was also joining that denomination who was available immediately, so my services were no longer needed. If I had a poor self-image, I would be tempted to think the congregation listened to me for a couple of weeks and said, “We gotta’ find a pastor, and quick!”

I know that’s not the reality, though. Plans were already in the works when I accepted the assignment and the timing worked out perfectly for the congregation and the new pastor. Besides, the congregation needed a full-time pastor and that is a role I’m unable to fill right now. The congregation also needs the stability of a full-time pastor.

The circumstances over the past four years for the congregation were such (partly precipitated by my own departure from full-time ministry) that I became the sixth pastor of the congregation in four years. That’s not healthy by any metric. I am praying earnestly for them and their new pastor that they will move forward in faith and confidence and will find the stability necessary to be effective in ministry to the Minden community.

Though that assignment has ended, I suppose the Lord isn’t done with me in ministry yet. I met with the leadership of Lakeview Methodist in Minden last Wednesday evening to explore the possibility of serving as their interim pastor. They, too, went through the disaffiliation process and their pastor chose to take a leave of absence so they have been without a pastor since May 31st of this year.

We met, and after an engaging conversation, agreed to a period of six months as interim pastor. It is a “going back” in ministry for us. We served this congregation from 2001 – 2003, so there are relationships already established in the congregation. That learning curve will not be quite as steep. There does remain the issue of whether one can “go back” in ministry after seasons away. Time will tell, but for me, there is a sense of going home. The reason for that is probably because my son and his family call this congregation home, but it may be deeper than that.

Lakeview Church-Minden, LA

Honestly, Vanessa and I have felt a little like a rudderless ship over the past several years. Don’t misunderstand, we’ve found a great home with the Evangelical Methodist Church as a denomination, but more locally, we’ve just sort of blown with the winds of the Spirit.

We thought the House Church Movement was going to be “our” place of ministry, but when you change houses in different communities, people don’t always follow…so, there’s that! I’m still rather convinced that house churches are the future of faithful discipleship, but the Lord hasn’t opened that door again. So, we wait…and blow.

Then, the Spirit blew us over to Beulah Church in Calhoun. What was supposed to be a three-week commitment turned into two and half years of ministry leading the congregation out of the UMC that was both laborious and stressful, not to mention oh, so revealing. We accomplished much in those two and a half years and served with faithful and committed disciples whom we learned to deeply love, but distance simply made continuing ministry untenable for us and for them.

We continued to receive calls from numerous congregations soliciting our services as pastor. They are all faithful and fruitful congregations but we never felt the nudge to say, “Yes” to any of them. That is not meant to be an offense to any of those congregations. I pray I was able to offer each of them a little guidance as they contemplate their future direction, but I personally never sensed the Spirit calling us in those directions.

Then, First Minden came calling. Vanessa and I had somewhat connected in worship with the congregation simply due to the fact that their interim pastor was Rev. David Dietzel. I have long told people that if I could choose my pastor, I’d choose David. When First Minden entered the discernment process toward disaffiliation, Vanessa and I felt comfortable sitting under David’s leadership as much as possible.

The congregation subsequently voted to disaffiliate, but Rev. Dietzel chose to retain his credentials in the UMC (a decision I both honor and respect), so the congregation was without a pastor once again. The leadership called and asked if I could help. After receiving the assurance that they could live with my availability to serve on a limited schedule, I felt the Spirit saying, “Go.” Little did I know the “go” would be so short-lived.

So, here we blow again! Over to Lakeview Church. I’ve agreed to be their Sunday preacher, handle emergencies and help lead the discussion on where their future affiliation will be. Those will be my primary tasks in the next six months. We’ll see where it leads, but it feels right. We pray the Spirit is in it. Will you pray with us?

So, it really does feel like deja vu all over again…in a lot of different ways.

Until next time, keep looking up…